I can't really figure out if I'm some Mutant belonging at the Xavier Institute or if I'm just a woman with a keen sense of smell. You tell me.
I'll present the evidence.
**I can smell a dirty diaper through a shut door two rooms a way.
**I can tell you which kid it is too.
**The smells of Mountian Dew & Stove Top stuffing bring back VIVID memories
of hurling them up projectile style.
**The scent of men's cologne makes me rather turned on.
**The smell of anything bad quashes that feeling quickly. For days.
**Being pregnant, my sense of smell is even more keen.
**The smell of boiling chicken makes me feel sick to my stomach.
**Afta aftershave = my dad.
**Glade Powder scented air freshner (most powder scents) reminds of living with Teresa McCammon in college. (hate the smell-liked the times)
**Estee Lauder Youth Dew (the old lady smell) is something I smell at 50 paces in a grocery store.
**Cleaning the kichen this morning with Fantastic made me think of the
hours of cleaning our first house we bought. I could see the house when I closed my eyes.
I love the scent of clean laundry and used to think my clothes had no smell growing up. Everytime my friend Jenny was around, I could smell her house on her clothes. I soon realized everyone has a smell. Their own smell. My parents best friends house always smelled like Coast soap. Everyone has their scent we smell. Some good-some not so good.
Obviously,smell brings home a lot of things to me. I mean, no one wants to get stuck behind a cattle truck & everyone HAS a sense of smell. But I wonder if it's a girl thing that I can smell things SO much more strongly.
My sense of smell really has a lot to do with ME. I can be "in the mood" or NOT. I can be nostalgic or sick to me stomach. I'm learning that smell is VERY VERY important to me. I keep a handkerchief of my grandmother's with her bath powder in it because when I start to forget what she looked like, and her memory starts to fade in my mind, I can get it back. Fresh & like new.
I don't know if smell is as important to everyone else, but to me it can make or break my mood, sometimes my day. Maybe everyone has a sense that's more developed or highented. I just know for me candles and good smelling things keep me happy. So do I need to find Storm & Wolverine or what??
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Friday, June 23, 2006
The Grass Is Always Greener
As I run around the house cleaning up after the kids & sweeping up Wednesdays mess, I think did I really WANT to have company??
I haven't seen my cousin since my wedding & I'm thrilled for him to meet the boys, but all this comes with it? We don't have a lot of company. It's hard to keep the kids (read:Carson) dressed & we don't meet a lot of people since we don't get out much.
I was thrilled to be having my cousin for the weekend & now as I sweep up more ritz crumbs I wonder, "Hmmm wonder how long they'll stay?" Heh.
The grass always seems greener on the other side. In almost everything. There's always someone elses mom that seems more cool than yours growing up and physical issues are endless. I wish my nose wasn't so pointy or so LONG like a witch. I'd love to have a cute button nose like Meg Ryan's OLD nose. And how many countless women wish for Angelina Joeli's lips?? I'm sure she wishes there was something of hers that she could trade.
The grass is always greener. I'd be suprised if everyone didn't have SOMETHING or someone they'd trade for something of someone elses. Maybe that's why not coveting is in the ten commandments.
I go onto to another room to clean after a child leaves it knowing I just straightend it 5 minutes before. The cycle goes on & on. The company will come & I'll be sad when they go wishing it wouldn't end. I think if Jesus was coming I'd still be cleaning. Probably more so.
Just call me Mary cause I'm sure she wished she was more like Martha. The grass is always greener on the other side.
I haven't seen my cousin since my wedding & I'm thrilled for him to meet the boys, but all this comes with it? We don't have a lot of company. It's hard to keep the kids (read:Carson) dressed & we don't meet a lot of people since we don't get out much.
I was thrilled to be having my cousin for the weekend & now as I sweep up more ritz crumbs I wonder, "Hmmm wonder how long they'll stay?" Heh.
The grass always seems greener on the other side. In almost everything. There's always someone elses mom that seems more cool than yours growing up and physical issues are endless. I wish my nose wasn't so pointy or so LONG like a witch. I'd love to have a cute button nose like Meg Ryan's OLD nose. And how many countless women wish for Angelina Joeli's lips?? I'm sure she wishes there was something of hers that she could trade.
The grass is always greener. I'd be suprised if everyone didn't have SOMETHING or someone they'd trade for something of someone elses. Maybe that's why not coveting is in the ten commandments.
I go onto to another room to clean after a child leaves it knowing I just straightend it 5 minutes before. The cycle goes on & on. The company will come & I'll be sad when they go wishing it wouldn't end. I think if Jesus was coming I'd still be cleaning. Probably more so.
Just call me Mary cause I'm sure she wished she was more like Martha. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Adult Onset of ADD?
I don't know what's with me lately. I can't seem to concentrate on much. I keep flitting from one thing to another. I can't stay on a web page long, read a book for much at a time or even watch tv. I'm just from one thing to another constantly. Is it possible to get ADD as an adult?
Maybe it's from going so much lately. I've been on a couple trips, gotten the kids in their summer school schedules and been to numerous family functions.
I think I've been going so hard & fast lately, I can't slow down even when I have much less to do. I don't know what to do with myself going that slow of a pace. My mind keeps going even though my body has slowed down.
I DO go in cycles of what hobbies I'm liking. Computer games, knitting, reading a lot, scrapbooking or movies. But maybe this is more about the "GO GO GO" pace of the average adult. I don't even have that much to do as a parent yet. My kids aren't into three different sports or activities each. And they won't be allowed to be.
Not because I'm a selfish mother, but because I've seen too many parents (some friends included) that's lives are set at that pace. The "GO GO GO" pace.
My neighbor's son is in two sports that overlap each season. And I had a friend who had three kids aged 3 yrs, 8 yrs & 10 yrs old. Each kid took ballet, soccer & Little League. Not to mention the girl scouts & boys scouts. And playgroup for the three year old. Church & those activities for the kids.Now tell me, HOW do you get all that done & still have time to BE, just BE, as a family???? Personally, I don't think you can.
Granted my kids are "different" in the category of activities but, come on! I mean, is it more important that kids start so early on all life has to offer?? (do NOT get me started on 4 yr old kindergarten) And we as adults/parents, should we ALLOW them to set the pace of our lives??
Maybe I'm selfish & not the norm, but I say NO WAY! At my house, there is a lot MORE down time than activity time. We don't get out all that much, but our time together as a family unit, far outweighs our time with the outside world. I want to stick close to my children, I want to be there so they don't have to ask anyone else what french kissing is when they hear it for the first time. Or what gay means. Or when they scrape their knee.
Hear me out, I'm no overprotective mother. Far from it. I just think when the time comes, each SEASON each KID can have ONE sport & one other activity like boy scouts. There will be no overlapping days & our Saturdays & Sundays will NOT be littered with multiple practices & games. There has to be a line for when family time is & when the world is let inside. And I just happen to be drawing it in the sand before the "GO GO GO" ever rears it's ugly head at my house.
So maybe I need to slow myself down NOW, before I acquire the adult onset of ADD from this "GO GO GO" pace.
Maybe it's from going so much lately. I've been on a couple trips, gotten the kids in their summer school schedules and been to numerous family functions.
I think I've been going so hard & fast lately, I can't slow down even when I have much less to do. I don't know what to do with myself going that slow of a pace. My mind keeps going even though my body has slowed down.
I DO go in cycles of what hobbies I'm liking. Computer games, knitting, reading a lot, scrapbooking or movies. But maybe this is more about the "GO GO GO" pace of the average adult. I don't even have that much to do as a parent yet. My kids aren't into three different sports or activities each. And they won't be allowed to be.
Not because I'm a selfish mother, but because I've seen too many parents (some friends included) that's lives are set at that pace. The "GO GO GO" pace.
My neighbor's son is in two sports that overlap each season. And I had a friend who had three kids aged 3 yrs, 8 yrs & 10 yrs old. Each kid took ballet, soccer & Little League. Not to mention the girl scouts & boys scouts. And playgroup for the three year old. Church & those activities for the kids.Now tell me, HOW do you get all that done & still have time to BE, just BE, as a family???? Personally, I don't think you can.
Granted my kids are "different" in the category of activities but, come on! I mean, is it more important that kids start so early on all life has to offer?? (do NOT get me started on 4 yr old kindergarten) And we as adults/parents, should we ALLOW them to set the pace of our lives??
Maybe I'm selfish & not the norm, but I say NO WAY! At my house, there is a lot MORE down time than activity time. We don't get out all that much, but our time together as a family unit, far outweighs our time with the outside world. I want to stick close to my children, I want to be there so they don't have to ask anyone else what french kissing is when they hear it for the first time. Or what gay means. Or when they scrape their knee.
Hear me out, I'm no overprotective mother. Far from it. I just think when the time comes, each SEASON each KID can have ONE sport & one other activity like boy scouts. There will be no overlapping days & our Saturdays & Sundays will NOT be littered with multiple practices & games. There has to be a line for when family time is & when the world is let inside. And I just happen to be drawing it in the sand before the "GO GO GO" ever rears it's ugly head at my house.
So maybe I need to slow myself down NOW, before I acquire the adult onset of ADD from this "GO GO GO" pace.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Living Young
Sometimes life or it's lessons make us feel older than we are. Or sometimes, just as old as we really are. But I never seem to feel as old as I am. CLOSE, but I don't feel entirely "in my thirties" yet. Just having had a baby though, my body & I are feeling a tad more old than usual.
When you become a parent there is less time for young fun. It's soon replaced with kid fun. The moments of playing in the sprinkler with your kids, seeing their faces at Christmas time, the first time they say your name or "I love you". Your fun level is no longer about the new clothing store at the mall, what nice sporty car you drive, parties or talking with your friends on the phone until 3am.
Therefore, I choose to take one time a year to get away with NO kids for three days. My friend and I go down to Texas and attend a scrapbook convention. We go out to eat, picketing any place that serves happy meals, and take our time savoring every bite. (as parents you know how nice it is to eat without having to hurry every bite) We shop and stay in a hotel. We don't cook. We don't have to worry about anyone elses needs but our own for three whole days. It's heaven. But I also call it living young. We aren't worried about van payments, mortgages or packing lunches. We remember we're married, but forget we have someone else's needs to consider. We are enjoying life & having fun without worries. Freedom from our responsibilities IS living young.
Maybe I'm thinking about it more with death being so present in my life this year. And maybe it's making me think of all I still want to do. But I think it's mostly taught me not to take life too seriously because there are plenty of times we have to do that anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a mid-life crisis or wanting out from under my responsibilities as a parent & adult. I just realize you have to make time for fun, or you aren't a very sane adult.
I heard this song recently & it's my new anthem for having fun & being young at heart. Hopefully as the kids get older, I'll get more than three days a year to live young. But in the meantime, I plan to live it up & take my time enjoying being young.
MY NEXT THIRTY YEARS -Tim McGraw
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here In my next thirty years
Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years
When you become a parent there is less time for young fun. It's soon replaced with kid fun. The moments of playing in the sprinkler with your kids, seeing their faces at Christmas time, the first time they say your name or "I love you". Your fun level is no longer about the new clothing store at the mall, what nice sporty car you drive, parties or talking with your friends on the phone until 3am.
Therefore, I choose to take one time a year to get away with NO kids for three days. My friend and I go down to Texas and attend a scrapbook convention. We go out to eat, picketing any place that serves happy meals, and take our time savoring every bite. (as parents you know how nice it is to eat without having to hurry every bite) We shop and stay in a hotel. We don't cook. We don't have to worry about anyone elses needs but our own for three whole days. It's heaven. But I also call it living young. We aren't worried about van payments, mortgages or packing lunches. We remember we're married, but forget we have someone else's needs to consider. We are enjoying life & having fun without worries. Freedom from our responsibilities IS living young.
Maybe I'm thinking about it more with death being so present in my life this year. And maybe it's making me think of all I still want to do. But I think it's mostly taught me not to take life too seriously because there are plenty of times we have to do that anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a mid-life crisis or wanting out from under my responsibilities as a parent & adult. I just realize you have to make time for fun, or you aren't a very sane adult.
I heard this song recently & it's my new anthem for having fun & being young at heart. Hopefully as the kids get older, I'll get more than three days a year to live young. But in the meantime, I plan to live it up & take my time enjoying being young.
MY NEXT THIRTY YEARS -Tim McGraw
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years
Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years
My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here In my next thirty years
Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years
My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Our Tinga Baby
We had to put our Tinga dog to sleep yesterday. It was very sudden. She had stopped eating Thursday into Friday last week and then Saturday morning she came into our room & vomited. I took her outside & then when I went to clean it up I noticed lots of tiny blood clots. I was obviously concerned & called the vet who sort of blew it off as she probably swallowed something & to watch her.
Well then we saw her stools were black & tarry. Looking it up on the internet it could be her swallowing something or something more serious. All the clots & tarry stools were indicators of digested blood. She was still drinking at this point & really only acting tired, not sick or whinning or whimpering.
Then Sunday after we got back from my mom's house, she went had thrown up again & her stools were much worse. We took her into the vet & after they did some blood work said it was most likely Auto Immune Hemolyctic Anemia.
http://www.upei.ca/cidd/Diseases/immune%20disorders/autoimmune%20hemolytic%20anemia.htm
So basically her body is attacking red blood cells & killing them off. A dog's AIDS if you will. Her blood count was a 16! He sent us home to think about if we wanted to treat her or not. (lot of expense) That was super hard because you want to do what you can but how much can you spend? It was soooooooooooooo hard & terrible. We decided to bring her back in Monday (yesterday) morning for another blood count like they had suggested. Matt took her. It was a 10. It had digressed so rapidly they told us there was nothing to be done. They did say they would put her to sleep, but for $100. HA! (needless to say we won't be going back THERE anytime soon)
SO I called our old (GOOD) vet, Matt stayed home & we took her in the afternoon to be put down. After losing my dad so recently I didn't think this would be as hurtful. I was wrong. Matt & I both had THE hardest hardest time with it. After 4 1/2 yrs a pet becomes family. They are there day in & day out. I had to take her, Matt didn't think he could. I hated to think of her dying alone so I told them I wanted to stay. Once I got there, I couldn't even speak. I changed my mind. But they really seemed so genuine & loving, I believed her when she said they would take care of her. I had lost two dogs in my life before, but never been there when they were gone or put to sleep. One even died ON my 9th birthday. But this was seriously one of the hardest things I've EVER had to do in my LIFE.
Jackson hasn't asked yet. We told him yesterday daddy was home to help take Tinga to the dr she was sick. When he does ask, I'll probably tell him she went to be with Papa. It would have been way easier to have someone tells us it HAD to be done. (putting her to sleep) But I guess that's the sucky part of being a grown up.
Well then we saw her stools were black & tarry. Looking it up on the internet it could be her swallowing something or something more serious. All the clots & tarry stools were indicators of digested blood. She was still drinking at this point & really only acting tired, not sick or whinning or whimpering.
Then Sunday after we got back from my mom's house, she went had thrown up again & her stools were much worse. We took her into the vet & after they did some blood work said it was most likely Auto Immune Hemolyctic Anemia.
http://www.upei.ca/cidd/Diseases/immune%20disorders/autoimmune%20hemolytic%20anemia.htm
So basically her body is attacking red blood cells & killing them off. A dog's AIDS if you will. Her blood count was a 16! He sent us home to think about if we wanted to treat her or not. (lot of expense) That was super hard because you want to do what you can but how much can you spend? It was soooooooooooooo hard & terrible. We decided to bring her back in Monday (yesterday) morning for another blood count like they had suggested. Matt took her. It was a 10. It had digressed so rapidly they told us there was nothing to be done. They did say they would put her to sleep, but for $100. HA! (needless to say we won't be going back THERE anytime soon)
SO I called our old (GOOD) vet, Matt stayed home & we took her in the afternoon to be put down. After losing my dad so recently I didn't think this would be as hurtful. I was wrong. Matt & I both had THE hardest hardest time with it. After 4 1/2 yrs a pet becomes family. They are there day in & day out. I had to take her, Matt didn't think he could. I hated to think of her dying alone so I told them I wanted to stay. Once I got there, I couldn't even speak. I changed my mind. But they really seemed so genuine & loving, I believed her when she said they would take care of her. I had lost two dogs in my life before, but never been there when they were gone or put to sleep. One even died ON my 9th birthday. But this was seriously one of the hardest things I've EVER had to do in my LIFE.
Jackson hasn't asked yet. We told him yesterday daddy was home to help take Tinga to the dr she was sick. When he does ask, I'll probably tell him she went to be with Papa. It would have been way easier to have someone tells us it HAD to be done. (putting her to sleep) But I guess that's the sucky part of being a grown up.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
I Found A Way To Relax!
I have never been good at relaxing & have been given many ideas from people just how to go about achieving this state of relaxation. This weekend I found the way.
I'll state for the record, I've never been a bath person. I know, I know...they are so luxurious & pampering. Okay so before I had children I did indulge in the occasional bubble bath & relax with a good book. However, I found I wasn't very good at not getting the book wet (a cardinal SIN to me) and the water gets cold quick. So, I do showers. I like showers. I don't miss baths.
Now I did TRY to enjoy a bath. Everyone on TV, in books & just in general makes us think women should enjoy & long for a nice bubble bath. I tried, I really did. I wanted to see what everyone was so excited over. I just never got it. I still don't. I have no problem missing out on water going cold, pruney skin, and wet books.
Maybe it's because I'm a GO GO GO person. I can't sit still long enough to ENJOY the experience of a bubble bath. I know from what I hear from other girls, it's an "experience". It's not JUST to cleanse your skin, it's to relax you mind, body & spirit.
Well not me pal! I don't relax. I think of the hundred things I SHOULD be doing. Even with the help of a good book, the cold water is deterrent. And that kids hand poking at me from under the door, could very well have something to do with it.
I am known for quick showers. I don't dilly dally in there. Not much to see or do in my opinion. Get in, get wet, lather up hair with shampoo, rinse, lather up conditioner on hair (this is my trick for getting time for it to work) and then lather the body. Rinse body, rinse hair, OUT. TIME!
Under 5 minutes. I'm good. I know you're asking what about shaving? Those are the 5 min showers.
This brings me around to my newest reason to love showers. I took a shower the other day in the middle of a Saturday. My husband was home, I had the opportunity with the kids distracted to take my time. It was a lazy day & my mood carried over into the shower. I took my time, I was in NO hurry. I let the water beat on my back where my muscles hurt. I usually like the water warm, NOT hot. I took the knob & cranked it to hot. Then when that got cool, I cranked it some more. It felt GOOOOOOOOOOD! And wouldn't you know the sound of the water totally drowns out the little cries of "Mommy!" seeping under the bathroom door.
I left there feeling like a whole new woman.
I wasn't feeling lazy anymore, I was RELAXED. I found a way to escape from the aches & pains of life! I discovered I LOVE showers. Maybe this is why my husband can take 15 minute showers until the hot water tank empties. I found his secret. I see now why he LOVED the hot water. It's hot to melt away the stress & worry from your muscles! Oh yeah, I am keeping my new habit of long showers & as soon as my kid is on the bus this afternoon, I'm off to the showers!
Who knew what I was missing!? I'm a happy, changed woman....pruney but relaxed.
I'll state for the record, I've never been a bath person. I know, I know...they are so luxurious & pampering. Okay so before I had children I did indulge in the occasional bubble bath & relax with a good book. However, I found I wasn't very good at not getting the book wet (a cardinal SIN to me) and the water gets cold quick. So, I do showers. I like showers. I don't miss baths.
Now I did TRY to enjoy a bath. Everyone on TV, in books & just in general makes us think women should enjoy & long for a nice bubble bath. I tried, I really did. I wanted to see what everyone was so excited over. I just never got it. I still don't. I have no problem missing out on water going cold, pruney skin, and wet books.
Maybe it's because I'm a GO GO GO person. I can't sit still long enough to ENJOY the experience of a bubble bath. I know from what I hear from other girls, it's an "experience". It's not JUST to cleanse your skin, it's to relax you mind, body & spirit.
Well not me pal! I don't relax. I think of the hundred things I SHOULD be doing. Even with the help of a good book, the cold water is deterrent. And that kids hand poking at me from under the door, could very well have something to do with it.
I am known for quick showers. I don't dilly dally in there. Not much to see or do in my opinion. Get in, get wet, lather up hair with shampoo, rinse, lather up conditioner on hair (this is my trick for getting time for it to work) and then lather the body. Rinse body, rinse hair, OUT. TIME!
Under 5 minutes. I'm good. I know you're asking what about shaving? Those are the 5 min showers.
This brings me around to my newest reason to love showers. I took a shower the other day in the middle of a Saturday. My husband was home, I had the opportunity with the kids distracted to take my time. It was a lazy day & my mood carried over into the shower. I took my time, I was in NO hurry. I let the water beat on my back where my muscles hurt. I usually like the water warm, NOT hot. I took the knob & cranked it to hot. Then when that got cool, I cranked it some more. It felt GOOOOOOOOOOD! And wouldn't you know the sound of the water totally drowns out the little cries of "Mommy!" seeping under the bathroom door.
I left there feeling like a whole new woman.
I wasn't feeling lazy anymore, I was RELAXED. I found a way to escape from the aches & pains of life! I discovered I LOVE showers. Maybe this is why my husband can take 15 minute showers until the hot water tank empties. I found his secret. I see now why he LOVED the hot water. It's hot to melt away the stress & worry from your muscles! Oh yeah, I am keeping my new habit of long showers & as soon as my kid is on the bus this afternoon, I'm off to the showers!
Who knew what I was missing!? I'm a happy, changed woman....pruney but relaxed.
Monday, May 01, 2006
Admiration
Something we as adults don't usually show outwardly is admiration. It's difficult to show without being ooey gooey or just juvenille about it. (Juvenille: what you would witness me doing if I ran into Brett Favre anywhere.)
As children I think it's easier to look up to someone or see qualities you admire and express it. Although you don't' know that's the right word for it then. You find things you want to imitate in others or things you don't.
As I get older I realize there are fewer people I care to imitate or look up to. I find as an adult there is more openess to our view of life. And let me define openess. I mean that you have the blinders off & the accessibility to see the things we couldn't as children. We see more of who people REALLY are. We know clothes and good looks aren't always all there is in life. We can see sometimes the people that act the happiest, aren't all that happy. We can identify the frauds more easily & just who is genuine & who's not.
Most of this comes not just with age but with life's lessons. By the time we've reached adulthood, we've experienced many things & been through a fair share of life lessons. Some of those we all go through on the road to adulthood, others are more unique to our own circumstances.
It's not often I experience moments of admiration as an adult. That's rather sad, but considering the state of our society today & what goes on in the world, it's not too suprising-just sad. And because they are few & far between, I think it's important to recognize them. To yourself and to
others. So I had one of these moments Friday night. I was out & about with my friend & her daughters (4th grade, 2nd grade, twin 1-1/2 yr olds) & my baby boy. (7 weeks old)
We were out eating Subway & then off to Hobby Lobby & the scrapbook store. Now think about what I just said. Two adult women, took 2 little girls & 3 babies out to ALLLLLL those places-on a Friday night in the RAIN. Brave huh?
The girls were excellent & well behaved as any teenager if not better. They helped take care of their babies & mine. They held doors to help us moms carrying stuff. They didn't complain about how long we were in a store or if they could have this or that. That was my moment of admiration. How often can that behavior happen you ask? Well, over the many years I've known my friend, her kids have 99% of the time, acted in this same well behaved way.
When I met my friend, her oldest daughter was in my 3's class at our church preschool & her youngest was in my son's class. I was in love with her daughter & her long blonde hair & big blue eyes. She had the best lunches with black olives & dill pickles, all my favorites. And I was pregnant & always teasing her about trying to eat her lunch. I really noticed how well behaved she was in class & afterwards. Most kids would go crazy when their parents showed up after school, but not hers. They knew better. Then later in the school year my friend's husband, a sheriff's deputy, started dropping her girls off early so they could both get to their college classes downtown. I would run across the street at lunch & pick up their son from kindergarten & bring him over for the afternoon to the preschool. I was in total admiration for this woman who went back to school, raised three children & was married to a police officer. Her children were ALWAYS polite & just incredibly well behaved. They just have good old fashioned manners! Something MOST children today are dearly lacking.
So over the years I've still kept my admiration for her. No bubble was burst getting to know her family & spending lots of time with them. If anything my reasons to admire her have grown over the years. The fact she has 5 children is just a small one. But mostly I marvel at her ability to raise these children. She had twin girls at the age of 35 & still has more energy than me most days. She'll deny it, but she does. She'll take her kids out & not even blink an eye about how many there are or how many places they'll be getting out at. (I wait until my husband is home so I don't have to take TWO out with me! I'm LAZY!)
Getting back to Friday night, after I got home I had that realization again of how much I love her family & kids. She manuevers them in a way that they aren't throwing fits to be in a stroller for 2 hrs. She has strangers approach her & comment on how well behaved the babies are! I mean WHO has kids like this!? Her older girls are always helpful & are holding doors for people, turn in lost items, say "excuse me". I mean how many kids do you know that DO those things? They are special people & I really truly am in awe at how she is doing such a good job, I might even want to be around them when they are teenagers. And that's saying A LOT since I'm not sure I'll want to be at my own house when my kids hit puberty.
As children I think it's easier to look up to someone or see qualities you admire and express it. Although you don't' know that's the right word for it then. You find things you want to imitate in others or things you don't.
As I get older I realize there are fewer people I care to imitate or look up to. I find as an adult there is more openess to our view of life. And let me define openess. I mean that you have the blinders off & the accessibility to see the things we couldn't as children. We see more of who people REALLY are. We know clothes and good looks aren't always all there is in life. We can see sometimes the people that act the happiest, aren't all that happy. We can identify the frauds more easily & just who is genuine & who's not.
Most of this comes not just with age but with life's lessons. By the time we've reached adulthood, we've experienced many things & been through a fair share of life lessons. Some of those we all go through on the road to adulthood, others are more unique to our own circumstances.
It's not often I experience moments of admiration as an adult. That's rather sad, but considering the state of our society today & what goes on in the world, it's not too suprising-just sad. And because they are few & far between, I think it's important to recognize them. To yourself and to
others. So I had one of these moments Friday night. I was out & about with my friend & her daughters (4th grade, 2nd grade, twin 1-1/2 yr olds) & my baby boy. (7 weeks old)
We were out eating Subway & then off to Hobby Lobby & the scrapbook store. Now think about what I just said. Two adult women, took 2 little girls & 3 babies out to ALLLLLL those places-on a Friday night in the RAIN. Brave huh?
The girls were excellent & well behaved as any teenager if not better. They helped take care of their babies & mine. They held doors to help us moms carrying stuff. They didn't complain about how long we were in a store or if they could have this or that. That was my moment of admiration. How often can that behavior happen you ask? Well, over the many years I've known my friend, her kids have 99% of the time, acted in this same well behaved way.
When I met my friend, her oldest daughter was in my 3's class at our church preschool & her youngest was in my son's class. I was in love with her daughter & her long blonde hair & big blue eyes. She had the best lunches with black olives & dill pickles, all my favorites. And I was pregnant & always teasing her about trying to eat her lunch. I really noticed how well behaved she was in class & afterwards. Most kids would go crazy when their parents showed up after school, but not hers. They knew better. Then later in the school year my friend's husband, a sheriff's deputy, started dropping her girls off early so they could both get to their college classes downtown. I would run across the street at lunch & pick up their son from kindergarten & bring him over for the afternoon to the preschool. I was in total admiration for this woman who went back to school, raised three children & was married to a police officer. Her children were ALWAYS polite & just incredibly well behaved. They just have good old fashioned manners! Something MOST children today are dearly lacking.
So over the years I've still kept my admiration for her. No bubble was burst getting to know her family & spending lots of time with them. If anything my reasons to admire her have grown over the years. The fact she has 5 children is just a small one. But mostly I marvel at her ability to raise these children. She had twin girls at the age of 35 & still has more energy than me most days. She'll deny it, but she does. She'll take her kids out & not even blink an eye about how many there are or how many places they'll be getting out at. (I wait until my husband is home so I don't have to take TWO out with me! I'm LAZY!)
Getting back to Friday night, after I got home I had that realization again of how much I love her family & kids. She manuevers them in a way that they aren't throwing fits to be in a stroller for 2 hrs. She has strangers approach her & comment on how well behaved the babies are! I mean WHO has kids like this!? Her older girls are always helpful & are holding doors for people, turn in lost items, say "excuse me". I mean how many kids do you know that DO those things? They are special people & I really truly am in awe at how she is doing such a good job, I might even want to be around them when they are teenagers. And that's saying A LOT since I'm not sure I'll want to be at my own house when my kids hit puberty.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Smitten
Smitten: To affect sharply with great feeling.
Okay I will give ample warning here that unless you are ready to gag on the sweetness in this post, keep surfing.
We have a new baby in this house & I am completely & utterly in love. Now, I have loved all my children, and always the baby stage. But I'm especially smitten this time. I think it has something to do with the fact it's in all likelyhood our last child.
I get lost in his eyes & the way they are turning from dark blue to brown. I absolutely love the way he looks JUST like my husband. His long baby toes & fingers call to be kissed daily. And I can sit & stare at the way his eyelashes & eyebrows are filling in to match his full head of hair. He is the prettiest baby. He begs to be loved on with his laid back gummy smile & frog legs. My heart melts when he sleeps on his tummy & his little tiny hiney is stuck up in the air.
His double chin & fat cheeks bring tears of pride to my eyes & don't even get me started on his dimples. I want to hold him & look at him. Watch his eyes & see what he's taking in. I feel needed & loved unconditionally. I feel utter acceptance when I see him coo & smile at ME.
I realize most women feel this as mothers & even most fathers. But I haven't felt this much love & joy in 6 years. (last baby I had) Maybe it has something to do with my father passing away just a month before. Maybe that has affected the way I take it all in & revel in the little things. The way I'm not taking ANY of this for granted. I'm not caring so much about missed hours of sleep. I could care less about how old I'll be when he's graduating high school & to be honest, he makes me want more.
Some of the first things people ask me is how soon can you get a test to see if HE'S Autistic??
There IS no test at this stage & I can't tell you if we would have knowingly had more children had we KNOWN our children were Autistic. (that's the other question I get a lot)
Let me just say, my oldest son wasn't anywhere near diagnosed when we had our second son. Then this third son was our suprise! I love that God was in control & blessed us with children when He thought we needed them & the ones He thought we could handle.
I think one of my favorite lines in a song are the Sheryl Crow lyrics: It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
I want what I have more than anything I could have dreamt up to ask God for. Maybe Robert Young isn't the only father in that saying "Father knows best."
Okay I will give ample warning here that unless you are ready to gag on the sweetness in this post, keep surfing.
We have a new baby in this house & I am completely & utterly in love. Now, I have loved all my children, and always the baby stage. But I'm especially smitten this time. I think it has something to do with the fact it's in all likelyhood our last child.
I get lost in his eyes & the way they are turning from dark blue to brown. I absolutely love the way he looks JUST like my husband. His long baby toes & fingers call to be kissed daily. And I can sit & stare at the way his eyelashes & eyebrows are filling in to match his full head of hair. He is the prettiest baby. He begs to be loved on with his laid back gummy smile & frog legs. My heart melts when he sleeps on his tummy & his little tiny hiney is stuck up in the air.
His double chin & fat cheeks bring tears of pride to my eyes & don't even get me started on his dimples. I want to hold him & look at him. Watch his eyes & see what he's taking in. I feel needed & loved unconditionally. I feel utter acceptance when I see him coo & smile at ME.
I realize most women feel this as mothers & even most fathers. But I haven't felt this much love & joy in 6 years. (last baby I had) Maybe it has something to do with my father passing away just a month before. Maybe that has affected the way I take it all in & revel in the little things. The way I'm not taking ANY of this for granted. I'm not caring so much about missed hours of sleep. I could care less about how old I'll be when he's graduating high school & to be honest, he makes me want more.
Some of the first things people ask me is how soon can you get a test to see if HE'S Autistic??
There IS no test at this stage & I can't tell you if we would have knowingly had more children had we KNOWN our children were Autistic. (that's the other question I get a lot)
Let me just say, my oldest son wasn't anywhere near diagnosed when we had our second son. Then this third son was our suprise! I love that God was in control & blessed us with children when He thought we needed them & the ones He thought we could handle.
I think one of my favorite lines in a song are the Sheryl Crow lyrics: It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.
I want what I have more than anything I could have dreamt up to ask God for. Maybe Robert Young isn't the only father in that saying "Father knows best."
Monday, April 03, 2006
ASD: Non-Verbal & Hating It
My middle son suffers from more severe symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder. I say "suffers" because he truly has times he suffers. He is non-verbal. Everyone asks if he's mute. This makes me laugh because he's the loudest kid I have! He may not use words or ones that others can understand, but he communicates & is hardly MUTE. There are distinguishable sounds like "mama mama" & "dada". Then there are ones probably only we understand that sound like "tickle tickle tickle", "cold" & "up".
In the past 6 months my middle son has experienced some changes. There was me going to work, my parents watching him two days a week, he started half-day kindgarten, we had company staying all through Christmas, his 6yr molars came in, growing pains, new baby, Papa not being here anymore & the list goes on. Anyway, he was making SOME progress I noticed with things like offering the dog a bone & trying to insert it into her mouth. Things where he seemed to be really showing an understanding of what some things do or cause. He's always communicated his way & made himself quite clear most of the time. He'll take your hand & lead you to the cupboard or fridge or whatever he wants. He will actually lay your hand on the item he wants/needs. But then the aggression started.
The frustration level from not being able to talk & just SAY what you want must be fierce. If it was ME, I know my patience would be thin pretty quickly.
I just have no clue what my son must think in his head while trying to get us to understand he's cutting teeth & in pain. Or what he wants to eat. It's just a cruel merry-go-round of choices that we offer up to have him pick or lash out in frustration at our stupidity to not understand his needs. His aggression started with lashing out at us. Biting, pinching or scratching. Then he moved on to hurting himself more recently. We believe his 6 yr molars to be coming in & at the same time, growing pains. He would hit his hip bones, hit his jaw bones & leave bruises that looked like he'd been in a fight. He bites his own arms & knees when you tell him no or get on to him. It was all coming to a head & with the new baby in the house, we really we're sure how to control his aggression or lashing out. I put in numerous calls to our doctor waiting to hear back as she was on spring break, vacation, & at conferences. I was so worried about his self-injury and how to deal with it. I hated him hurting us, but to hurt himself was just beyond pain to watch.
Today a few prayers were answered. Our old peds doctor had left & started her own practice of Behavioral Studies. After finally leaving her messages & playing phone tag, today SHE called. Do you know how SHOCKED I was that the actual DOCTOR called me? Not an assistant, secretary or nurse. She had been gone two weeks and I'm sure had STACKS of messages. She called us first. It was invigorating to find out she CAN see my children & be of help. Let me tell you how wonderful this woman is & how she made my day.
She will now sit in on IEP meetings at the school & be an advocate for us. She CAN help us try some medicine for my son & how wonderful she won't have to see him in the office first! Not at first anyways. How small is the world that she was just at conference on Autism in Baltimore & our NEW peds doctor was there?? They not only know each other but went out to dinner to talk about MY sons & how to help them! She WILL be able to help my oldest son with some of his OCD qualities also. And she is going out of her way to call a certian compounding pharmacy with a pharmacist that has a PhD in chemistry to make up our medicines. She listened to me update her on our whole family for almost 2 hours. Never trying to get off the phone, but talking like old friends.
I have never felt so relieved & happy about my childrens health.
The only side effects the medicine will have if any, is increased appetitie & therefore chance of weight gain. With my middle son, the metabolism rate he has is probably off the charts. I've never SEEN a child cycle through medicine & food SO fast! His body seems to be on a different scale or system than the rest of us. It's amazing, truly.
I feel like I'm on cloud nine to think a "cure" for some of my son's issues could be at hand. I have never see their Autism as something to get rid of or fix. I see it more as something that gives them issues that we need to overcome one at a time. And if some of those issues stick around for the rest of their lives, well they are still healthy & happy. In my book that's just fine. I don't mind the special attention those issues take or the time or energy those issues require from our lives as parents. I am mystified by the people that call me so "brave" or "special" for doing just doing my job as a parent. I helped bring them into this world, and they are MY responsibility. I thank God they don't have REAL issues like Cerebal Palsy or something that requires them to live life in a wheelchair or disabled in more physical ways.
The Bible says we won't be given more than we can bear. I believe this with all my heart. And today I was truly blessed to know this woman who God placed in our lives for the very reason to help our children & us cope with this thing called Autism Spectrum Disorder.
In the past 6 months my middle son has experienced some changes. There was me going to work, my parents watching him two days a week, he started half-day kindgarten, we had company staying all through Christmas, his 6yr molars came in, growing pains, new baby, Papa not being here anymore & the list goes on. Anyway, he was making SOME progress I noticed with things like offering the dog a bone & trying to insert it into her mouth. Things where he seemed to be really showing an understanding of what some things do or cause. He's always communicated his way & made himself quite clear most of the time. He'll take your hand & lead you to the cupboard or fridge or whatever he wants. He will actually lay your hand on the item he wants/needs. But then the aggression started.
The frustration level from not being able to talk & just SAY what you want must be fierce. If it was ME, I know my patience would be thin pretty quickly.
I just have no clue what my son must think in his head while trying to get us to understand he's cutting teeth & in pain. Or what he wants to eat. It's just a cruel merry-go-round of choices that we offer up to have him pick or lash out in frustration at our stupidity to not understand his needs. His aggression started with lashing out at us. Biting, pinching or scratching. Then he moved on to hurting himself more recently. We believe his 6 yr molars to be coming in & at the same time, growing pains. He would hit his hip bones, hit his jaw bones & leave bruises that looked like he'd been in a fight. He bites his own arms & knees when you tell him no or get on to him. It was all coming to a head & with the new baby in the house, we really we're sure how to control his aggression or lashing out. I put in numerous calls to our doctor waiting to hear back as she was on spring break, vacation, & at conferences. I was so worried about his self-injury and how to deal with it. I hated him hurting us, but to hurt himself was just beyond pain to watch.
Today a few prayers were answered. Our old peds doctor had left & started her own practice of Behavioral Studies. After finally leaving her messages & playing phone tag, today SHE called. Do you know how SHOCKED I was that the actual DOCTOR called me? Not an assistant, secretary or nurse. She had been gone two weeks and I'm sure had STACKS of messages. She called us first. It was invigorating to find out she CAN see my children & be of help. Let me tell you how wonderful this woman is & how she made my day.
She will now sit in on IEP meetings at the school & be an advocate for us. She CAN help us try some medicine for my son & how wonderful she won't have to see him in the office first! Not at first anyways. How small is the world that she was just at conference on Autism in Baltimore & our NEW peds doctor was there?? They not only know each other but went out to dinner to talk about MY sons & how to help them! She WILL be able to help my oldest son with some of his OCD qualities also. And she is going out of her way to call a certian compounding pharmacy with a pharmacist that has a PhD in chemistry to make up our medicines. She listened to me update her on our whole family for almost 2 hours. Never trying to get off the phone, but talking like old friends.
I have never felt so relieved & happy about my childrens health.
The only side effects the medicine will have if any, is increased appetitie & therefore chance of weight gain. With my middle son, the metabolism rate he has is probably off the charts. I've never SEEN a child cycle through medicine & food SO fast! His body seems to be on a different scale or system than the rest of us. It's amazing, truly.
I feel like I'm on cloud nine to think a "cure" for some of my son's issues could be at hand. I have never see their Autism as something to get rid of or fix. I see it more as something that gives them issues that we need to overcome one at a time. And if some of those issues stick around for the rest of their lives, well they are still healthy & happy. In my book that's just fine. I don't mind the special attention those issues take or the time or energy those issues require from our lives as parents. I am mystified by the people that call me so "brave" or "special" for doing just doing my job as a parent. I helped bring them into this world, and they are MY responsibility. I thank God they don't have REAL issues like Cerebal Palsy or something that requires them to live life in a wheelchair or disabled in more physical ways.
The Bible says we won't be given more than we can bear. I believe this with all my heart. And today I was truly blessed to know this woman who God placed in our lives for the very reason to help our children & us cope with this thing called Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Mark the Calendar! March 22, 2006!
I did it! 12 days after having a baby! This isn't bragging, it's just that good feeling that any girl knows. It doesn't have to be after having a baby like my occasion. It can be after losing a goal amount of weight, or just a really special occasion. It's that SURPRISE feeling we gals get when we get dressed for an event or day and you KNOW you look good. I was getting dressed to go back to the doctor of all places. Just a week ago I was depressed because my old jeans wouldn't fit yet. So today I tried them just to SEE, and they FIT!! I mean at this point anything without elastic is a major accomplishment! Funny thing is, a year ago this wasn't that big of a deal. I mean who cared I fit into this pair of jeans. I just wanted to be smaller! But funny thing how you start to miss a little thing like a pair of jeans. It's the uniform of the stay-at-home mom. The jeans. Now I feel more on my way to smaller...in theory. This just jumped started my losing weight right? (Surely that ice cream sundae in celebration doesn't sabotage that right??)
I jumped up & down & did the happy dance all around the room. I didn't have to lay on the bed to zip them, but I won't lie. There IS a roll that seems to escape the top still. But that just meant I changed my shirt to one that would cover it more aggressively. I felt like a million bucks. Didn't last too long, but it felt good. It had been awhile since I felt that good. (9months or more) But that surprise feeling of good self-esteem can last a good month if you're lucky!
Now before you start hating me, I'll insert a sidebar here for you-the jeans referenced to are a size 14. So don't think you've got got some skinny chick all excited about fitting back into her size 2 jeans.
Anyway, it's really too bad we can't bottle that feeling of elation that happens when you're surprised at something so wonderful. We could market it & give it to young girls so they have less self-esteem problems. OR, do they have more of those days than we do? Do we get less of these happy clappy times the older we get? Is that how it works? Is that why we all strive to maintain our youth?
Well, as of now, I'm just happy to bask in the glow of my wonderful day.
For tomorrow is laundry day & that means I'm back to square one...or duck walking around to stretch them back out so they'll fit.
I jumped up & down & did the happy dance all around the room. I didn't have to lay on the bed to zip them, but I won't lie. There IS a roll that seems to escape the top still. But that just meant I changed my shirt to one that would cover it more aggressively. I felt like a million bucks. Didn't last too long, but it felt good. It had been awhile since I felt that good. (9months or more) But that surprise feeling of good self-esteem can last a good month if you're lucky!
Now before you start hating me, I'll insert a sidebar here for you-the jeans referenced to are a size 14. So don't think you've got got some skinny chick all excited about fitting back into her size 2 jeans.
Anyway, it's really too bad we can't bottle that feeling of elation that happens when you're surprised at something so wonderful. We could market it & give it to young girls so they have less self-esteem problems. OR, do they have more of those days than we do? Do we get less of these happy clappy times the older we get? Is that how it works? Is that why we all strive to maintain our youth?
Well, as of now, I'm just happy to bask in the glow of my wonderful day.
For tomorrow is laundry day & that means I'm back to square one...or duck walking around to stretch them back out so they'll fit.
Friday, March 17, 2006
To Drug or Not To Drug...(a lesson on birthing babies)
"But Miss Scarlett, I don't know nothing about birthing no babies!"
Butterfly McQueen-
Gone With the Wind
WARNING: This blog may contain GGT (Gross Girly Talk)
Having just given birth to my third child (and that IS pride you hear in my voice) I think I can speak on this subject with at least SOME authority. Of course I'm talking about the beloved Epidural. Now I've had two kids without so much as an asprin and then my third son was born a week ago today with an Epidural. I knew there'd be a difference & most likely a significant one that I liked the effects of. However, what I totally underestimated was the after effects.
When you have a baby the labor process is mostly slow & gradual. It's like warming your body up for a race. Contractions start out like cramps then increase gradually to aid in the squeezing out of the proverbial watermelon. After giving birth naturally you are tired of course & shaky but you almost get a jolt of adreniline. But, you HAVE been carrying a baby for 9 months & it DOES feel good to suddenly have that appendage removed from the front of your body. Just like as your mommy bump grows gradually, you slowly have to adjust to walking around front heavy. After birth, suddenly you aren't front heavy anymore. It's sort of a funny adjustment to make. You can bend over & tie your own shoes, you can shave your legs, paint your toenails & if your lucky stop dripping food on the front of your clothes.
After my first two natural births boy did I have that spurt of energy. I think I about gave my husband's grandmother a heart attack because I was going on a trip with them to a museum two days after giving birth. We went out to eat & walked around all day. I can't count how many times she kept asking me if I was okay & was I sure I didn't need to go lay down & rest. I laughed at it at the time, but now it reminds me how much older I am & how each time it seems to take the body longer to bounce back. I guess I'm saying that my body was tired, but able to function back to a certian level pretty quickly from before.
Now, that being said, there are the drugs I took this time. I'll admit upfront that a Benadryll will knock me out for DAYS. So I'm not really into that strong of drugs anyway.
This time I'm 6 yrs older than last time, I'm overweight & thought, "Hey! I deserve a break this time!" So I opted for the epidural, IF I got there in time. (last time I was there 26 min before baby was born-but that's a whole other story) This time I arrived at the hospital at 9pm on Thursday night & after checking & seeing I was at 1cm they gave me something to thin my cervix. (it was 80%) I loved the nurses but they did blow through about an average of three veins in each of my arms with IV's etc. (I do have pictures for those of you who wouldn't believe it if you didn't see it) Darling husband & I slept pretty well until about 5am when the dr had called & the nurse checked again. I was only at 5cm but they started my epidural. Then when the doctor got there at 7:15am or so, I was at a 9cm. I was SHOCKED to say the least. (So was he, but I warned them all, when I go, I go FAST!) I hadn't hardly been uncomfortable at all! And as soon as he got in & talked to us a bit, he just said okay, PUSH.
PUSH!? Already!? i admit I was really worried because I couldn't feel anything to tell me to push. I had no feeling in my belly down! How was I supposed to know what I was doing?
After a couple minutes of pushing they brought in new people & switched some stuff around & BOOM. This was it! I was supposed to REALLY push him out. I couldn't believe it wasn't going to take longer & better yet, I still couldn't feel anything! BONUS! He was born at 7:43am & weighed 7lbs 14 oz. He has big feet & hands & his fingers & toes go for miles! My son also like the last one, has a full head of hair. It's black & lays down just beautifully! He is a sight to behold.
Now, it was wonderful not to feel the pain. But I couldn't hold up my own legs to push. I couldn't help myself to the other bed they switched me to. I had to literally pick up my butt & move it myself. That was fun let me tell ya. I couldn't feel my legs or belly (although my belly did itch) for hours after that. That wasn't great when you're trying to empty your bladder every hour. (for those who don't know-labor makes you VERY thirsty) After my feeling came back all over I was pretty wiped out. Tired doesn't begin to describe it. I felt like I had run a race without warming up. I didn't feel the race, just the after-effects. UGH. It really was something to feel so crummy just all of the sudden after feeling nothing. I was really not expecting to feel so tired after the drugs wore off but I had NEVER thought (duh moment) that of course you may not feel it, but your body still does all the same stuff. So why WOULDN'T you feel it later? It's basically just putting off the inevitable.
Of course I know nothing about C-sections but I know quite a few people who have had them. I know the recoup time is still longer than either of mine.
Hopefully you didn't think I'd tell you what you should choose. I can only speak from what I know. I think it's all an individual decesion & it's not something for someone else to judge. I don't know that I love one way of birthing over the other. Natural or Epidural that is. Of course, birthing is like babies, they are all different. But I know either way, I now know what to expect & hopefully you do too. (assuming you didn't before)
Butterfly McQueen-
Gone With the Wind
WARNING: This blog may contain GGT (Gross Girly Talk)
Having just given birth to my third child (and that IS pride you hear in my voice) I think I can speak on this subject with at least SOME authority. Of course I'm talking about the beloved Epidural. Now I've had two kids without so much as an asprin and then my third son was born a week ago today with an Epidural. I knew there'd be a difference & most likely a significant one that I liked the effects of. However, what I totally underestimated was the after effects.
When you have a baby the labor process is mostly slow & gradual. It's like warming your body up for a race. Contractions start out like cramps then increase gradually to aid in the squeezing out of the proverbial watermelon. After giving birth naturally you are tired of course & shaky but you almost get a jolt of adreniline. But, you HAVE been carrying a baby for 9 months & it DOES feel good to suddenly have that appendage removed from the front of your body. Just like as your mommy bump grows gradually, you slowly have to adjust to walking around front heavy. After birth, suddenly you aren't front heavy anymore. It's sort of a funny adjustment to make. You can bend over & tie your own shoes, you can shave your legs, paint your toenails & if your lucky stop dripping food on the front of your clothes.
After my first two natural births boy did I have that spurt of energy. I think I about gave my husband's grandmother a heart attack because I was going on a trip with them to a museum two days after giving birth. We went out to eat & walked around all day. I can't count how many times she kept asking me if I was okay & was I sure I didn't need to go lay down & rest. I laughed at it at the time, but now it reminds me how much older I am & how each time it seems to take the body longer to bounce back. I guess I'm saying that my body was tired, but able to function back to a certian level pretty quickly from before.
Now, that being said, there are the drugs I took this time. I'll admit upfront that a Benadryll will knock me out for DAYS. So I'm not really into that strong of drugs anyway.
This time I'm 6 yrs older than last time, I'm overweight & thought, "Hey! I deserve a break this time!" So I opted for the epidural, IF I got there in time. (last time I was there 26 min before baby was born-but that's a whole other story) This time I arrived at the hospital at 9pm on Thursday night & after checking & seeing I was at 1cm they gave me something to thin my cervix. (it was 80%) I loved the nurses but they did blow through about an average of three veins in each of my arms with IV's etc. (I do have pictures for those of you who wouldn't believe it if you didn't see it) Darling husband & I slept pretty well until about 5am when the dr had called & the nurse checked again. I was only at 5cm but they started my epidural. Then when the doctor got there at 7:15am or so, I was at a 9cm. I was SHOCKED to say the least. (So was he, but I warned them all, when I go, I go FAST!) I hadn't hardly been uncomfortable at all! And as soon as he got in & talked to us a bit, he just said okay, PUSH.
PUSH!? Already!? i admit I was really worried because I couldn't feel anything to tell me to push. I had no feeling in my belly down! How was I supposed to know what I was doing?
After a couple minutes of pushing they brought in new people & switched some stuff around & BOOM. This was it! I was supposed to REALLY push him out. I couldn't believe it wasn't going to take longer & better yet, I still couldn't feel anything! BONUS! He was born at 7:43am & weighed 7lbs 14 oz. He has big feet & hands & his fingers & toes go for miles! My son also like the last one, has a full head of hair. It's black & lays down just beautifully! He is a sight to behold.
Now, it was wonderful not to feel the pain. But I couldn't hold up my own legs to push. I couldn't help myself to the other bed they switched me to. I had to literally pick up my butt & move it myself. That was fun let me tell ya. I couldn't feel my legs or belly (although my belly did itch) for hours after that. That wasn't great when you're trying to empty your bladder every hour. (for those who don't know-labor makes you VERY thirsty) After my feeling came back all over I was pretty wiped out. Tired doesn't begin to describe it. I felt like I had run a race without warming up. I didn't feel the race, just the after-effects. UGH. It really was something to feel so crummy just all of the sudden after feeling nothing. I was really not expecting to feel so tired after the drugs wore off but I had NEVER thought (duh moment) that of course you may not feel it, but your body still does all the same stuff. So why WOULDN'T you feel it later? It's basically just putting off the inevitable.
Of course I know nothing about C-sections but I know quite a few people who have had them. I know the recoup time is still longer than either of mine.
Hopefully you didn't think I'd tell you what you should choose. I can only speak from what I know. I think it's all an individual decesion & it's not something for someone else to judge. I don't know that I love one way of birthing over the other. Natural or Epidural that is. Of course, birthing is like babies, they are all different. But I know either way, I now know what to expect & hopefully you do too. (assuming you didn't before)
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Patients
I had the occasion to go my PCP (primary care physican-for those of you without HMO's) recently. Have you ever noticed how quickly you become acquainted or familiar with the other people in the waiting room with you??
It was about 2:15pm on a Friday afternoon. I was the only one in the waiting room except an older white haired lady in a wheel-chair & her son. Now her companion was wearing wrap-around Oakley sunglasses, long hair, trucker hat, jeans, biker boots & reading a working mothers magazine. Not someone I would usually think I'd have much in common with.
I sit down & it's relatively quiet as I'm resting my head & eyes. Then I start hearing birds whistling. Not even like the ones you hear walking to your car outside. The annoying cartoon ones, like from when we were little. Those chirpy, high-pitched, sickeningly sweet ones. (these duragative adjectives could come from the fact I was rather moody & sickly)
I look around & biker son has noticed this too. Turns out there's a little tv on down at the other end of the waiting room & it's on Woody Woodpecker. He was pretty quick to turn that off & I guess I wasn't the only grateful soul because some receptionist behind the glass stuck their heads out & thanked him too.
He was nice enough. The lady I'm assuming was his mother. They looked alike and he showed such patience with her. It would be all quiet & she'd ask something of him out of the blue about a family member & of course talking loudly the entire time. She'd mumble part of her words & he'd say, "What hon?" It was rather sweet. He even asked when my baby was due. Nice enough guy.
Some other older man came in to change an appointment & was giving them fits up front & biker son & I exchanged knowing looks.
The other day I had a baby doctor appointment & a couple ladies in the waiting room struck up a conversation with me as we women do. But it's so funny to me how quickly you'll tell pretty personal things to complete strangers. Stuff you don't even phone & tell all people related to you! You bond over the funniest situations when waiting for doctors. People you probably wouldn't normally call up or may not be in your social circle. People you'll never see again.
Isn't it weird how you can know someone a matter of minutes out of your life. You don't know their religion affiliation, their voting record or what they even do for a living. (well okay depending on how much time you spend in the waiting room you COULD know such things) But you bond. You wish them good luck as they head in before you, you exchange magazines, somtimes you share snacks out of your purse for their whiny, bratty children they've forgotten to leave at home. The waiting room is almost like it's own little community for a brief period of your life. There are the people you stare at in disbelief & those you really seem to understand. Maybe that's what makes it easier to share things with them or just be comfortable with them. That one thing you both for sure have in common, you'll never see each other again. I mean you're not exchanging phone numbers or addresses. (unless you're really weird) There's no pressure to put your best foot forward or be worried about what they think.
Sure you sit there & wonder about who they are or what they are doing there etc. But there is less judgement on everyone's part than in life.
Hmmm, maybe that's what's wrong with the leaders of the world. They don't have to wait for anything anymore. Because of their high-up positions, when do you think was the last time THEY waited in a room for 45 min, only to go back & be weighed and brought down a notch or two??
Maybe we should lock them all in a waiting room, throw in some old back issues of TIME & see what happens. Peace treaties may not be so far away if we throw in a couple whiney kids.
It was about 2:15pm on a Friday afternoon. I was the only one in the waiting room except an older white haired lady in a wheel-chair & her son. Now her companion was wearing wrap-around Oakley sunglasses, long hair, trucker hat, jeans, biker boots & reading a working mothers magazine. Not someone I would usually think I'd have much in common with.
I sit down & it's relatively quiet as I'm resting my head & eyes. Then I start hearing birds whistling. Not even like the ones you hear walking to your car outside. The annoying cartoon ones, like from when we were little. Those chirpy, high-pitched, sickeningly sweet ones. (these duragative adjectives could come from the fact I was rather moody & sickly)
I look around & biker son has noticed this too. Turns out there's a little tv on down at the other end of the waiting room & it's on Woody Woodpecker. He was pretty quick to turn that off & I guess I wasn't the only grateful soul because some receptionist behind the glass stuck their heads out & thanked him too.
He was nice enough. The lady I'm assuming was his mother. They looked alike and he showed such patience with her. It would be all quiet & she'd ask something of him out of the blue about a family member & of course talking loudly the entire time. She'd mumble part of her words & he'd say, "What hon?" It was rather sweet. He even asked when my baby was due. Nice enough guy.
Some other older man came in to change an appointment & was giving them fits up front & biker son & I exchanged knowing looks.
The other day I had a baby doctor appointment & a couple ladies in the waiting room struck up a conversation with me as we women do. But it's so funny to me how quickly you'll tell pretty personal things to complete strangers. Stuff you don't even phone & tell all people related to you! You bond over the funniest situations when waiting for doctors. People you probably wouldn't normally call up or may not be in your social circle. People you'll never see again.
Isn't it weird how you can know someone a matter of minutes out of your life. You don't know their religion affiliation, their voting record or what they even do for a living. (well okay depending on how much time you spend in the waiting room you COULD know such things) But you bond. You wish them good luck as they head in before you, you exchange magazines, somtimes you share snacks out of your purse for their whiny, bratty children they've forgotten to leave at home. The waiting room is almost like it's own little community for a brief period of your life. There are the people you stare at in disbelief & those you really seem to understand. Maybe that's what makes it easier to share things with them or just be comfortable with them. That one thing you both for sure have in common, you'll never see each other again. I mean you're not exchanging phone numbers or addresses. (unless you're really weird) There's no pressure to put your best foot forward or be worried about what they think.
Sure you sit there & wonder about who they are or what they are doing there etc. But there is less judgement on everyone's part than in life.
Hmmm, maybe that's what's wrong with the leaders of the world. They don't have to wait for anything anymore. Because of their high-up positions, when do you think was the last time THEY waited in a room for 45 min, only to go back & be weighed and brought down a notch or two??
Maybe we should lock them all in a waiting room, throw in some old back issues of TIME & see what happens. Peace treaties may not be so far away if we throw in a couple whiney kids.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Thinking Out Loud...
I've been thinking about something that happened yesterday & thought I'd have a "thinking out loud" moment where you all could chime in on my random thoughts running in & out of my head.:)
I had what you might call a realization yesterday driving my son to school when he missed the bus. I thought I'd see what you all had to say on the subject. Maybe I was just in a dream state imagining things with this sinus infection in my head.
The youngest has taken a liking to an old Acapella tape of mine & so I play it to calm him down a lot. It's the "He Leadeth Me" album. (told you it was old) Of course those are mostly what I call "church songs" & oldies but goodies you hear less & less in services.
So, as we drove down the road, I hear my oldest son singing along with the tape. (yes it's so old it's a cassette tape) **Now, to clear this up, my sons haven't been to church on a regular basis in their lives because of their Autism. It's hit & miss for us & for years with the oldest, he'd balk at any NEW building & scream it down. When we do get to go, one or both of us is in the nursery or empty classroom because they aren't really nursery age & others don't know how to "babysit" them.**
Anyway, so he's singing along to the song "I'll Fly Away".
As many of you know the lyrics are:
"Some glad mornin' when this life is o'er, I'll fly away.
To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, I'll fly away.
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away.
To a home where joy shall never end, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by."
Now, he is almost 8yrs old. It sort of hit me, maybe because my father just died, but it struck me nonetheless, that he was singing about dying & death.
He of course only knows that Papa isn't here anymore & has gone to be an angel in heaven. He has no concept of heaven because his maturity isn't at a point where he can comprehend that yet. He gets upset when his characters die in his Star Wars computer game. That's about the extent of his experience with dying until now.
What it made me stop & think about was that as a kid being raised in the church, I guess I knew about death & dying way before my puppy died or my favorite aunt ,etc. Maybe I didn't realize it then, but don't you think there was some comfort there just from having heard the word before?? (singing about it in church) As a comprehending adult you understand the comfort of knowing where your loved one is, but as kid, do you really understand?
Think about all the songs we sang in church growing up....aren't they mostly about getting our ultimate reward as Christians? Heaven!
Even as kids we're taught heaven is a happy, good place & so do we make that connection to dying through songs like this?
My son was singing lyrics that his little photographic memory had just memorized & stored. I know that. Could have been Mary Had a Little Lamb. But how startling it was to hear such words come out of his mouth. "When I die hallelujah by & by". Maybe it's his Autism, but he seems to be less threatened (for lack of a better word) by change if he's familiar with the word & has heard it or been told before hand about something. I guess we're all that way to an extent.
He HAS taken my dad's death really well. Doesn't ask or pretend not to know or understand. Yes with kids, there is a little bit of out of sight out of mind, but not this kid. He remembers EVERYTHING & recalls it when you least expect it. I'm even more convinced now that he understands more than the rest of us probably do.
SO I guess my question is, does being raised going to church & singing like songs make us BETTER prepared for understanding death & being "okay" with it??
** I'm going to go make another cup of coffee, ya'll talk amongst yourselves.;)
I had what you might call a realization yesterday driving my son to school when he missed the bus. I thought I'd see what you all had to say on the subject. Maybe I was just in a dream state imagining things with this sinus infection in my head.
The youngest has taken a liking to an old Acapella tape of mine & so I play it to calm him down a lot. It's the "He Leadeth Me" album. (told you it was old) Of course those are mostly what I call "church songs" & oldies but goodies you hear less & less in services.
So, as we drove down the road, I hear my oldest son singing along with the tape. (yes it's so old it's a cassette tape) **Now, to clear this up, my sons haven't been to church on a regular basis in their lives because of their Autism. It's hit & miss for us & for years with the oldest, he'd balk at any NEW building & scream it down. When we do get to go, one or both of us is in the nursery or empty classroom because they aren't really nursery age & others don't know how to "babysit" them.**
Anyway, so he's singing along to the song "I'll Fly Away".
As many of you know the lyrics are:
"Some glad mornin' when this life is o'er, I'll fly away.
To a home on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by, I'll fly away.
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away.
To a home where joy shall never end, I'll fly away.
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away.
When I die, Hallelujah, by and by."
Now, he is almost 8yrs old. It sort of hit me, maybe because my father just died, but it struck me nonetheless, that he was singing about dying & death.
He of course only knows that Papa isn't here anymore & has gone to be an angel in heaven. He has no concept of heaven because his maturity isn't at a point where he can comprehend that yet. He gets upset when his characters die in his Star Wars computer game. That's about the extent of his experience with dying until now.
What it made me stop & think about was that as a kid being raised in the church, I guess I knew about death & dying way before my puppy died or my favorite aunt ,etc. Maybe I didn't realize it then, but don't you think there was some comfort there just from having heard the word before?? (singing about it in church) As a comprehending adult you understand the comfort of knowing where your loved one is, but as kid, do you really understand?
Think about all the songs we sang in church growing up....aren't they mostly about getting our ultimate reward as Christians? Heaven!
Even as kids we're taught heaven is a happy, good place & so do we make that connection to dying through songs like this?
My son was singing lyrics that his little photographic memory had just memorized & stored. I know that. Could have been Mary Had a Little Lamb. But how startling it was to hear such words come out of his mouth. "When I die hallelujah by & by". Maybe it's his Autism, but he seems to be less threatened (for lack of a better word) by change if he's familiar with the word & has heard it or been told before hand about something. I guess we're all that way to an extent.
He HAS taken my dad's death really well. Doesn't ask or pretend not to know or understand. Yes with kids, there is a little bit of out of sight out of mind, but not this kid. He remembers EVERYTHING & recalls it when you least expect it. I'm even more convinced now that he understands more than the rest of us probably do.
SO I guess my question is, does being raised going to church & singing like songs make us BETTER prepared for understanding death & being "okay" with it??
** I'm going to go make another cup of coffee, ya'll talk amongst yourselves.;)
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Sprinkles of OCD In My Life
Living with two Autistic children both at very different spots on the spectrum, means some interesting conversations & debates of power at our house.
My oldest son (will turn 8yrs old next month) is what is known as high-functioning but still did not talk until he was 4 yrs old.
My youngest son is 5 1/2 yrs now and displays more but not all of the classic Autistic symptoms. He still isn't forming sentences. His words he uses are on a 12 month old level or lower. At 55 lbs that's fun, let me tell ya.:)
This said, my oldest son is the one with more of the
Obsessive Complusive Disorder issues.
Most of the time I know as any parent of ANY child knows, to pick my battles.
Because of the Autism issues in our home, my husband's personality & the grace of God bestowed upon me, we're a pretty laid back household.
However, like any non-perfect person/mom, I get very frustrated by the millions of times a day I say "NO!" or "Don't sass me!".
We have all the same issues you have at your house with your kids, and then a few others sprinkled in.
I thought I'd let you see those "sprinkles" and maybe taste life at the "Smith" house.;)
Typical day of OCD & other Autistic moments: ***Please remember these happen EVERY day, rain or shine!**
*8 yr old has to say "Good Morning!" and be responded to in same manner before he can talk to you about anything else.
*He must help me make coffee-has to put in the filter in the basket, dump in the scoop of coffee, WATCH me add water, then LOOK into the water part to say it's "beautiful", then & only then can he turn it on.
He then gets spoon while I add sugar & creamer to my cup & when the coffee is done, he has to turn it off, and get a spoon full out of the cup, while I pour in coffee, then he can add his spoonful. And then the most important part, I must say (exact words) "Thank you for helping me make my coffee."
-sometimes Teddy Bear helps us & has to receive the same compliment!
*pack the exact same three things for lunch every day in 8 yr old's backpack
*every time the 8 yr old goes to restroom he has to count to 8 before he can flush the potty
*have the same routine to get on & off the bus (certian words & rituals that take about 5 min total)
* has to sit in the same spot on bus everyday
* only mommy can get him ON/OFF the bus-somtimes daddy can "help"
*must have mostly red colored items to drink out of, write with, or sit in
*if I log onto computer, he has to launch email & internet for me & gets VERY upset if he doesn't log onto my bulletin boards FOR me in a certian order of course
*if you give him a bath, must rinse hair 8 times before it's completed
*jackets & coats have to be zipped up to the TOP of the item & stay that way
* if going anywhere in the car there is a whole OCD routine of he has to be first one in the car, has to be buckled in before his brother, has to use "clicker" & push garage door opener at same time you start car, AFTER counting to 8
*certian toys ONLY go in the car & have to be present to even be MOVING in the car
*only certian french fries are acceptable to eat; in order of importance: McDonalds, Arbys & Carl's Jr.
*only Strawberry Starfruit & Strawberry Kiwi kool-aids are acceptable drinks-
unless it's lunch where Strawberry Kiwi Capri-Suns are allowed (and of course pop is always welcomed)
*bedtime holds a nice routine all it's own & thank goodness is more daddy's time-after tucking him in bed, daddy must kiss him on the lips & tummy (we're having a baby ) and then kiss Elmo & Teddy Bear is same manner. Then mommy gets kisses along with baby brother in my tummy.(where he got idea)
Then you have to say good-night to daddy over & over until he can't be seen anymore. Otherwise, you gotta come back & start over.
(sigh!) I know this sounds like indulging & quite honestly some of it is. There ARE times we be the parent & put our foot down & say "NO". But there are reasons to avoid "meltdowns" that result from not adhereing to the
OCD rules. And most of the time, it's all because we just don't have the energy to fight it. If you lived here, I bet you wouldn't either.
After all, everyone has a little sprinkle of OCD in them too.:)
My oldest son (will turn 8yrs old next month) is what is known as high-functioning but still did not talk until he was 4 yrs old.
My youngest son is 5 1/2 yrs now and displays more but not all of the classic Autistic symptoms. He still isn't forming sentences. His words he uses are on a 12 month old level or lower. At 55 lbs that's fun, let me tell ya.:)
This said, my oldest son is the one with more of the
Obsessive Complusive Disorder issues.
Most of the time I know as any parent of ANY child knows, to pick my battles.
Because of the Autism issues in our home, my husband's personality & the grace of God bestowed upon me, we're a pretty laid back household.
However, like any non-perfect person/mom, I get very frustrated by the millions of times a day I say "NO!" or "Don't sass me!".
We have all the same issues you have at your house with your kids, and then a few others sprinkled in.
I thought I'd let you see those "sprinkles" and maybe taste life at the "Smith" house.;)
Typical day of OCD & other Autistic moments: ***Please remember these happen EVERY day, rain or shine!**
*8 yr old has to say "Good Morning!" and be responded to in same manner before he can talk to you about anything else.
*He must help me make coffee-has to put in the filter in the basket, dump in the scoop of coffee, WATCH me add water, then LOOK into the water part to say it's "beautiful", then & only then can he turn it on.
He then gets spoon while I add sugar & creamer to my cup & when the coffee is done, he has to turn it off, and get a spoon full out of the cup, while I pour in coffee, then he can add his spoonful. And then the most important part, I must say (exact words) "Thank you for helping me make my coffee."
-sometimes Teddy Bear helps us & has to receive the same compliment!
*pack the exact same three things for lunch every day in 8 yr old's backpack
*every time the 8 yr old goes to restroom he has to count to 8 before he can flush the potty
*have the same routine to get on & off the bus (certian words & rituals that take about 5 min total)
* has to sit in the same spot on bus everyday
* only mommy can get him ON/OFF the bus-somtimes daddy can "help"
*must have mostly red colored items to drink out of, write with, or sit in
*if I log onto computer, he has to launch email & internet for me & gets VERY upset if he doesn't log onto my bulletin boards FOR me in a certian order of course
*if you give him a bath, must rinse hair 8 times before it's completed
*jackets & coats have to be zipped up to the TOP of the item & stay that way
* if going anywhere in the car there is a whole OCD routine of he has to be first one in the car, has to be buckled in before his brother, has to use "clicker" & push garage door opener at same time you start car, AFTER counting to 8
*certian toys ONLY go in the car & have to be present to even be MOVING in the car
*only certian french fries are acceptable to eat; in order of importance: McDonalds, Arbys & Carl's Jr.
*only Strawberry Starfruit & Strawberry Kiwi kool-aids are acceptable drinks-
unless it's lunch where Strawberry Kiwi Capri-Suns are allowed (and of course pop is always welcomed)
*bedtime holds a nice routine all it's own & thank goodness is more daddy's time-after tucking him in bed, daddy must kiss him on the lips & tummy (we're having a baby ) and then kiss Elmo & Teddy Bear is same manner. Then mommy gets kisses along with baby brother in my tummy.(where he got idea)
Then you have to say good-night to daddy over & over until he can't be seen anymore. Otherwise, you gotta come back & start over.
(sigh!) I know this sounds like indulging & quite honestly some of it is. There ARE times we be the parent & put our foot down & say "NO". But there are reasons to avoid "meltdowns" that result from not adhereing to the
OCD rules. And most of the time, it's all because we just don't have the energy to fight it. If you lived here, I bet you wouldn't either.
After all, everyone has a little sprinkle of OCD in them too.:)
Monday, February 27, 2006
It's the Little Things
I just cleaned out my garage....or rearranged the clutter if I'm being totally honest. Just making more paths than were there before.
Part of it is the nesting thing of pregnancy but it really did need to be done.
As I cleaned, rearranged & moved the clutter from one side to the other, I became increasingly aggravated.
Time for a really personal question...
Does your husband KEEP things? I mean not just old trophies or a million t-shirts that no longer fit, but "THINGS"?? (That's a polite word for "CRAP!")
Every so often I get SOOOOOOO aggravated I have to clean out drawers & shelves & places where he's hidden said "things=crap".
I'm talking Mc Donalds monopoly pieces....the paper ones! He keeps those till the next year, never bothering to check the expiration date. I knock them off every time I go to put something on the key shelf! ARGH!
Right now it's Pepsi caps and the whole stupid bottle! Because the label has something on it he needs. Now, a woman would not try to keep the WHOLE bottle, would we?? NO! We'd cut off the label & take the cap off & stick them both in a snack size ziplock tucked neatly away in it's own little corner of the junk drawer. (Some wives would make a note on the calender of when the contest expired.)
Oh but no! Let's try & find a spot to balance three or four 20 oz Pepsi bottles that we're SAVING! ARGH!!!!
This weekend I could actually laugh one off. Okay, sort of but not really.
We had a baby shower & after bringing home all the gifts & emptying them from their gift bags, I thought about whether or not to keep the bags. I decided that since the garage was tight enough on space, roaches LOVE paper products & I hardly have the need arise to use 39 baby boy (1 baby girl) gift sacks, I'd THROW THEM AWAY.
I should never have opened my big mouth to have him "help" me look for one missing baby sock! He started in the trash bag. Ohhh ho ho! You'd have thought I threw the Heisman trophy out!!! Geez!
This incident resulted in him going through my trash bag & taking out EVERY gift bag & looking them over & folding them together to put in one giant bag.
Such incident also included plenty of exclamations of disgust & disbelief at me that I could throw away such beloved "THINGS". I truly expected him somehow to weave into his monologue something concerning starving children in Africa & how THEY would know to keep said "THINGS".
And of course you know what else he found with the countless gift sacks in the trash bag......you guessed it! TISSUE PAPER!!!!
As he began to smooth each piece, I slowly moved toward him ready to suffocate him with the one baby girl sack. He moved too quickly (I AM 9 months pregnant) but did stop smoothing & agree to throw the tissue paper away finally. He tried to cover it like it was all a joke, but I think that's because the hormones gleaming in my eyes scared him just a smidge.
Part of it is the nesting thing of pregnancy but it really did need to be done.
As I cleaned, rearranged & moved the clutter from one side to the other, I became increasingly aggravated.
Time for a really personal question...
Does your husband KEEP things? I mean not just old trophies or a million t-shirts that no longer fit, but "THINGS"?? (That's a polite word for "CRAP!")
Every so often I get SOOOOOOO aggravated I have to clean out drawers & shelves & places where he's hidden said "things=crap".
I'm talking Mc Donalds monopoly pieces....the paper ones! He keeps those till the next year, never bothering to check the expiration date. I knock them off every time I go to put something on the key shelf! ARGH!
Right now it's Pepsi caps and the whole stupid bottle! Because the label has something on it he needs. Now, a woman would not try to keep the WHOLE bottle, would we?? NO! We'd cut off the label & take the cap off & stick them both in a snack size ziplock tucked neatly away in it's own little corner of the junk drawer. (Some wives would make a note on the calender of when the contest expired.)
Oh but no! Let's try & find a spot to balance three or four 20 oz Pepsi bottles that we're SAVING! ARGH!!!!
This weekend I could actually laugh one off. Okay, sort of but not really.
We had a baby shower & after bringing home all the gifts & emptying them from their gift bags, I thought about whether or not to keep the bags. I decided that since the garage was tight enough on space, roaches LOVE paper products & I hardly have the need arise to use 39 baby boy (1 baby girl) gift sacks, I'd THROW THEM AWAY.
I should never have opened my big mouth to have him "help" me look for one missing baby sock! He started in the trash bag. Ohhh ho ho! You'd have thought I threw the Heisman trophy out!!! Geez!
This incident resulted in him going through my trash bag & taking out EVERY gift bag & looking them over & folding them together to put in one giant bag.
Such incident also included plenty of exclamations of disgust & disbelief at me that I could throw away such beloved "THINGS". I truly expected him somehow to weave into his monologue something concerning starving children in Africa & how THEY would know to keep said "THINGS".
And of course you know what else he found with the countless gift sacks in the trash bag......you guessed it! TISSUE PAPER!!!!
As he began to smooth each piece, I slowly moved toward him ready to suffocate him with the one baby girl sack. He moved too quickly (I AM 9 months pregnant) but did stop smoothing & agree to throw the tissue paper away finally. He tried to cover it like it was all a joke, but I think that's because the hormones gleaming in my eyes scared him just a smidge.
Friday, February 24, 2006
Who's Your Barnabas?
I remember hearing someone speak on this topic at church camp one year.
"Who's Your Barnabas?"- as in, who encourages you.
Barnabas has to be pretty important to make the Bible. God saw him worthy to tell us about. Encouragement must be something we as Christians need that we may not have realized had He not showed us such a firm example. (of course I'm just guessing here)
You'll find his story beginning in Acts 4:36. He's mentioned often in the book of Acts. And yet people often don't know his given name. Why? Because he lived to serve others. His given name was Joseph, but the Christians nicknamed him "Barnabas" because it meant "son of encouragement". Barnabas came alongside people in times of challenge and helped them. ( Acts 9:10-28, Acts 15:36-39)
If it wasn't for Barnabas, Saul may never have made his transition to Paul.
I have a lot of people who have encouraged me over my young (no snickering!)lifetime. I remember Sheila Childers as one. She seemed to be so focused on the Lord & have her spiritual life VERY together. In college, she found out she had a brain tumor & almost died. But she's very much alive & healthy today. God saw her through her brain tumor. I remember her telling me it wasn't something she could face & had no idea how to deal with. This floored me. I mean, she was really IN the Word & I thought had a lot of answers to life I hadn't even begun to glean yet. This is when I started to realize everyone's Christian walks are in essence the same. No matter what we see in each other's walks, we all ebb & flow like a tide. No one Christian has all the answers & no one Christian can ever obtain ALL the answers. We all live to devour the Word of God & strive to be as close to Jesus & perfect we can. And I personally believe when faced with TRUE struggles of life, you either (as a Christian) grow closer to God or push him further away.
But back to my point. Barnabas was an encourager.
I've had a couple through college. Wendall my roomate was one. Most people didn't know her like I did. She helped me through a lot of growing up times, but more importantly were the talks about our spritual lives, the devos, & the prayer group meetings. We had a wonderful bunch of encouragers in that group. Val Bunner & Melody San Juan being two huge ones. And our other roomate Tracy Rimer. Tracy encouraged anyone she was around. There was no end to the countless encouragement I got from Tracy & Wendall.
Everyone KNOWS a person with an encouraging personality. They are those happy people we all love to hate.:)LOL But I'm talking about people who give you pause. People who don't even KNOW what they give others. There is something to be said for the happy people of the world, but the encouragers are in a category ALL to themselves.
I have had a rough month & look forward to Febuary being OVER. I am looking VERY forward to March & the new beginings it holds. My best friend Kim has given me plenty of encouragement & just listened to me talk through everything the past couple of weeks. My sister-in-laws are two of the best encouragers I have ever known. They know just what to say & when to say it. Sometimes that is priceless because you don't have words for yourself.
My most recent Barnabas came into my life about 8 yrs back. He's a pretty strong person & we've weathered A LOT together. I can't even begin to tell you what all. But it made us stronger, better people. One of the reasons I could move on & go on with life after all these set backs & hurdles we've had, is because he's been there being my Barnabas. I think part of the secret to being a Barnabas, is that you never see yourself as one.
"Who's Your Barnabas?"- as in, who encourages you.
Barnabas has to be pretty important to make the Bible. God saw him worthy to tell us about. Encouragement must be something we as Christians need that we may not have realized had He not showed us such a firm example. (of course I'm just guessing here)
You'll find his story beginning in Acts 4:36. He's mentioned often in the book of Acts. And yet people often don't know his given name. Why? Because he lived to serve others. His given name was Joseph, but the Christians nicknamed him "Barnabas" because it meant "son of encouragement". Barnabas came alongside people in times of challenge and helped them. ( Acts 9:10-28, Acts 15:36-39)
If it wasn't for Barnabas, Saul may never have made his transition to Paul.
I have a lot of people who have encouraged me over my young (no snickering!)lifetime. I remember Sheila Childers as one. She seemed to be so focused on the Lord & have her spiritual life VERY together. In college, she found out she had a brain tumor & almost died. But she's very much alive & healthy today. God saw her through her brain tumor. I remember her telling me it wasn't something she could face & had no idea how to deal with. This floored me. I mean, she was really IN the Word & I thought had a lot of answers to life I hadn't even begun to glean yet. This is when I started to realize everyone's Christian walks are in essence the same. No matter what we see in each other's walks, we all ebb & flow like a tide. No one Christian has all the answers & no one Christian can ever obtain ALL the answers. We all live to devour the Word of God & strive to be as close to Jesus & perfect we can. And I personally believe when faced with TRUE struggles of life, you either (as a Christian) grow closer to God or push him further away.
But back to my point. Barnabas was an encourager.
I've had a couple through college. Wendall my roomate was one. Most people didn't know her like I did. She helped me through a lot of growing up times, but more importantly were the talks about our spritual lives, the devos, & the prayer group meetings. We had a wonderful bunch of encouragers in that group. Val Bunner & Melody San Juan being two huge ones. And our other roomate Tracy Rimer. Tracy encouraged anyone she was around. There was no end to the countless encouragement I got from Tracy & Wendall.
Everyone KNOWS a person with an encouraging personality. They are those happy people we all love to hate.:)LOL But I'm talking about people who give you pause. People who don't even KNOW what they give others. There is something to be said for the happy people of the world, but the encouragers are in a category ALL to themselves.
I have had a rough month & look forward to Febuary being OVER. I am looking VERY forward to March & the new beginings it holds. My best friend Kim has given me plenty of encouragement & just listened to me talk through everything the past couple of weeks. My sister-in-laws are two of the best encouragers I have ever known. They know just what to say & when to say it. Sometimes that is priceless because you don't have words for yourself.
My most recent Barnabas came into my life about 8 yrs back. He's a pretty strong person & we've weathered A LOT together. I can't even begin to tell you what all. But it made us stronger, better people. One of the reasons I could move on & go on with life after all these set backs & hurdles we've had, is because he's been there being my Barnabas. I think part of the secret to being a Barnabas, is that you never see yourself as one.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Is There Any Such Thing As Time Alone?
Really?! Because I haven't found it! I mean I know it's here somewhere. I used to be the QUEEN OF TIME ALONE. Being the only girl in the house (besides the dog) I get the royal treatment most times I complain about wanting to lock the door to the bathroom & perform beauty rituals. Or when I want to leave the house & spend time with some other breathing, living adults that don't include the mailman & someone ONLINE. (no offense) Now I can't remember where the DEFCON 4 button is to push to let them know I'm SERIOUS. GET AWAY.
It's been cold & icy here so we've had to be IN all weekend. That normally is how I SPEND my weekends. On purpose. I hate going to the grocery store...and yes, that makes me old.
Somehow being MADE to stay inside, with children that are made to stay inside, is worse than going to the dentist.
At least one child had to be sitting on my lap at all times & this does not count the one already there attached by umbillical cord.
I felt like I couldn't pee alone or go into the kitchen without having to retrieve a million things for someone else only to forget what I went in there for myself.
I can not use the computer without one child needing to silently HOVER like the Airwolf helicopter waiting to swoop down on any button he might miss pushing on the computer as I post comments etc. I swear he listens to when I'm done typing so he can say for the millionth time, " Are you done? Is it my turn yet?"
Another one can't keep his hands away from any food or drink I have. Just once I'd like to drink a Dr Pepper (my source of energy for my day) without having the straw chewed on, or particlesof goldfish left behind on it. OR the ultimate, getting ready to take a drink only to find I'm making that dry sucking straw noise! ARGH!!!!!!
I can't remember the last time I slept in, but I can tell you the last time everyone in my family did. I have a list a mile long needing to get "accomplished" by the time this baby gets here, but where the time comes from to DO those thing.....don't know, maybe it will appear out of thin air or most likely when I'm NOT sleeping in!
I am thankful for my family, but if they don't leave me alone soon, I may run away. To a galaxy far, far away. (shhh don't tell them, at least two of them know where that is)
It's been cold & icy here so we've had to be IN all weekend. That normally is how I SPEND my weekends. On purpose. I hate going to the grocery store...and yes, that makes me old.
Somehow being MADE to stay inside, with children that are made to stay inside, is worse than going to the dentist.
At least one child had to be sitting on my lap at all times & this does not count the one already there attached by umbillical cord.
I felt like I couldn't pee alone or go into the kitchen without having to retrieve a million things for someone else only to forget what I went in there for myself.
I can not use the computer without one child needing to silently HOVER like the Airwolf helicopter waiting to swoop down on any button he might miss pushing on the computer as I post comments etc. I swear he listens to when I'm done typing so he can say for the millionth time, " Are you done? Is it my turn yet?"
Another one can't keep his hands away from any food or drink I have. Just once I'd like to drink a Dr Pepper (my source of energy for my day) without having the straw chewed on, or particlesof goldfish left behind on it. OR the ultimate, getting ready to take a drink only to find I'm making that dry sucking straw noise! ARGH!!!!!!
I can't remember the last time I slept in, but I can tell you the last time everyone in my family did. I have a list a mile long needing to get "accomplished" by the time this baby gets here, but where the time comes from to DO those thing.....don't know, maybe it will appear out of thin air or most likely when I'm NOT sleeping in!
I am thankful for my family, but if they don't leave me alone soon, I may run away. To a galaxy far, far away. (shhh don't tell them, at least two of them know where that is)
Thursday, February 16, 2006
the center aisle
You know, that center aisle at church? It has many uses. You can find your seat before services start. You can also chase a screaming child back down it during servies on the way to the bathroom to beat their hiney.(at least my mom did)
Some come forward to use it to ask for prayers & comfort.
You can walk down it at the end of the invitation to come to know Christ & put him on in baptism.
I walked down it when I got married to the most wonderful man in the world.
Yesterday I had the realization that I just walked that same center aisle in front of a lot of the same people, with the same feeling of everyone looking at you, at my father's funeral. No, no, listen to me. The same buidling. That very SAME center aisle my father walked me down to leave me in the hands of my love, my husband. What's the saying? He "gave me away"? Yesterday I guess was me giving him away- back to God.
I don't know a lot of my father's feelings on my wedding day. I'm sure he was pained, even though he loved my husband as much as he loved me. But my pain yesterday was pretty strong. I guess most all of the emotions coming down that center aisle, are pretty strong.
Some come forward to use it to ask for prayers & comfort.
You can walk down it at the end of the invitation to come to know Christ & put him on in baptism.
I walked down it when I got married to the most wonderful man in the world.
Yesterday I had the realization that I just walked that same center aisle in front of a lot of the same people, with the same feeling of everyone looking at you, at my father's funeral. No, no, listen to me. The same buidling. That very SAME center aisle my father walked me down to leave me in the hands of my love, my husband. What's the saying? He "gave me away"? Yesterday I guess was me giving him away- back to God.
I don't know a lot of my father's feelings on my wedding day. I'm sure he was pained, even though he loved my husband as much as he loved me. But my pain yesterday was pretty strong. I guess most all of the emotions coming down that center aisle, are pretty strong.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Have you ever seen that fine line?
The one that's between love & death? I think I saw it this week. My father is dying as I write this. He has pulmonary fibrosis. It's been less than a year he's had the diagnosis & less then three weeks he's been getting substantially worse.
Now as of last night, he seems to have days to live.
It's been a lot to take in, let alone the past week & not knowing if it was days or weeks or months he'd live.
There have been many thoughts in my head, most selfish, some not.
But I've come to the conclusion with much help, that love & death aren't so far off from one another.
Have you ever loved someone and been cast aside by them? Pushed out of the relationship, not given any choice but them leaving? I was. It hurt but I remember the moment I started the recovery of being "dumped".
You can't make someone love you or stay with you in that relationship.
Oh, I think we all can say we gave it a good try. But essentially, it's all up to them, the dump-er.
A loved one dying can cause a lot of those same emotions to come out. You love them so much it hurts. You want to fix anything & everything possible. Something in your mind says you can make it all better, you just need to find out what IT is.
Then it happens. The realization, the dawning, that you can't. No matter how hard you try, you can't make them stay. And you can't will them to live or even want to. You aren't in control of that love or when it can leave you.
God has had control all along.
I think that's what helped most the past couple days. Figuring out that I've been through this before in another form. There isn't a handbook given out on the exact way to handle a parent dying. But knowing I had "play" to refer back to out of my life experience handbook, really makes it somehow a little eaiser.
It's essentially the same sick feeling of knowing no matter how much you wish it so, they aren't staying. So be in love enough with that person, to set them free.
Keep them in your heart forever, just realize you can't hang on. They won't.
I'm in love with my dad. He's the strongest man I've ever known. Yet I have to be the strongest I've ever been to turn around & let go. I don't want to, but I can't make him stay. And I realize now, all those emotions I couldn't understand or know what to do with, just feeling edgy & frantic about what DO I DO? That's what I was wanting more than anything. To fix IT.
Dying & love have a lot in common. The number one thing being, nothing's FAIR in either case.
Now as of last night, he seems to have days to live.
It's been a lot to take in, let alone the past week & not knowing if it was days or weeks or months he'd live.
There have been many thoughts in my head, most selfish, some not.
But I've come to the conclusion with much help, that love & death aren't so far off from one another.
Have you ever loved someone and been cast aside by them? Pushed out of the relationship, not given any choice but them leaving? I was. It hurt but I remember the moment I started the recovery of being "dumped".
You can't make someone love you or stay with you in that relationship.
Oh, I think we all can say we gave it a good try. But essentially, it's all up to them, the dump-er.
A loved one dying can cause a lot of those same emotions to come out. You love them so much it hurts. You want to fix anything & everything possible. Something in your mind says you can make it all better, you just need to find out what IT is.
Then it happens. The realization, the dawning, that you can't. No matter how hard you try, you can't make them stay. And you can't will them to live or even want to. You aren't in control of that love or when it can leave you.
God has had control all along.
I think that's what helped most the past couple days. Figuring out that I've been through this before in another form. There isn't a handbook given out on the exact way to handle a parent dying. But knowing I had "play" to refer back to out of my life experience handbook, really makes it somehow a little eaiser.
It's essentially the same sick feeling of knowing no matter how much you wish it so, they aren't staying. So be in love enough with that person, to set them free.
Keep them in your heart forever, just realize you can't hang on. They won't.
I'm in love with my dad. He's the strongest man I've ever known. Yet I have to be the strongest I've ever been to turn around & let go. I don't want to, but I can't make him stay. And I realize now, all those emotions I couldn't understand or know what to do with, just feeling edgy & frantic about what DO I DO? That's what I was wanting more than anything. To fix IT.
Dying & love have a lot in common. The number one thing being, nothing's FAIR in either case.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Why I Choose the Title I Did
Okay, so maybe not exactly WISDOM in the sense of the word you're thinking. Maybe just things I've come to understand better or helped me comprehend life in an easier way. Being the mother of two Autistic sons, I've come to realize I probably parent a little different than the average person. And even though I can claim a BA in Child Development, I don't know that I really have used any of that knowledge to rule my roost.It all seems to come gradually & as needed to me in pearls of wisdom. A lot from God & some from my children themselves. I rediscover myself with every pearl that "drops" my way & I can only share those so I don't go insane.
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