Smitten

Smitten: To affect sharply with great feeling.

Okay I will give ample warning here that unless you are ready to gag on the sweetness in this post, keep surfing.

We have a new baby in this house & I am completely & utterly in love. Now, I have loved all my children, and always the baby stage. But I'm especially smitten this time. I think it has something to do with the fact it's in all likelyhood our last child.
I get lost in his eyes & the way they are turning from dark blue to brown. I absolutely love the way he looks JUST like my husband. His long baby toes & fingers call to be kissed daily. And I can sit & stare at the way his eyelashes & eyebrows are filling in to match his full head of hair. He is the prettiest baby. He begs to be loved on with his laid back gummy smile & frog legs. My heart melts when he sleeps on his tummy & his little tiny hiney is stuck up in the air.
His double chin & fat cheeks bring tears of pride to my eyes & don't even get me started on his dimples. I want to hold him & look at him. Watch his eyes & see what he's taking in. I feel needed & loved unconditionally. I feel utter acceptance when I see him coo & smile at ME.

I realize most women feel this as mothers & even most fathers. But I haven't felt this much love & joy in 6 years. (last baby I had) Maybe it has something to do with my father passing away just a month before. Maybe that has affected the way I take it all in & revel in the little things. The way I'm not taking ANY of this for granted. I'm not caring so much about missed hours of sleep. I could care less about how old I'll be when he's graduating high school & to be honest, he makes me want more.

Some of the first things people ask me is how soon can you get a test to see if HE'S Autistic??
There IS no test at this stage & I can't tell you if we would have knowingly had more children had we KNOWN our children were Autistic. (that's the other question I get a lot)
Let me just say, my oldest son wasn't anywhere near diagnosed when we had our second son. Then this third son was our suprise! I love that God was in control & blessed us with children when He thought we needed them & the ones He thought we could handle.
I think one of my favorite lines in a song are the Sheryl Crow lyrics: It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got.

I want what I have more than anything I could have dreamt up to ask God for. Maybe Robert Young isn't the only father in that saying "Father knows best."