It's been months since I've updated. I can honestly say, I have equally
appreciated the inquiries about how Carson's been since he arrived at his new
place in early March and the space you all have given me who haven't asked. It
was a rough time for me, much like when he went away for the very first time.
I'm pretty sure I was close to a nervous breakdown.
Save the date. I want you to come and say hi.
Celebrate with me--his mother-- the pride I feel for having brought such a
strong fighter into this world sixteen years ago. See him. Eat some cake. Laugh
with us. Partake of some fun Carson memories. Take pictures with him for his
scrapbook. Meet people who care for him. You've all prayed for him, you've
worried about him, cried for him, been angry for him--come enjoy some FUN with
him.
Carson has been struggling somewhat as well.
He has lost quite a bit of weight and was at one point down to 112lbs. His
platelets and white count were both low and he had an almost continual
tremor.
There was a bit of time he didn't get out of
bed a lot and even had a rash of bed sores because his hip bones protrude so
much and he wasn't moving very often.
The nurse has been really diligent at
brainstorming with me to try ways to help him gain weight. I really have
appreciated all her communication and efforts.
Carson is sleeping in a regular bed for awhile
now, his arms are healed and he leaves them alone, he has one on one daytime
staff, but not night time anymore, and I think he is once again, a favorite
among the staff where he is. He has an old TV but no PBS Kids channel all day,
so he watches DVD's. Still has his own space which he loves especially when it
gets loud. And he really has become attached to his daytime staff.
While I don't know set numbers, there were
probably around 15 kids in total when he arrived, now there are probably 10 just
in his cottage now. It's filling up fast.
No sign of them closing anytime soon that I
can see. He is enrolled in Tulsa Public Schools and the plan is for him to
begin by going by bus for a few hours a day when school starts.
He has a therapist that comes by and sees him
for occupational therapy every so often. He hasn't been asked to be pushed out
of his comfort zone for years, so school and a set routine will be a challenge
all in it's own. And one I think he has needed for awhile now. I'm excited to
see how that goes. And God blessed us with a previous teacher from BA public
schools both boys have had, to be our Tulsa Special Services liaison.
His new psychiatrist at OU who I like, has
gradually taken him off a med they started in the hospital. It's been a month
now and his tremors are almost all gone, his appetite is back a bit--especially
at breakfast--his weight is up to 119 and he is beginning to be behaving more
consistently like himself. While he is still struggling with manic episodes,
(that bring back bad memories & exhaust me almost instantly) I am seeing a
glimmer of my Car which lightens my heart.
The doctor has requested new testing to see if
his IQ improved a few points. She says some of the type places we tried to get
Carson into earlier this year, see an IQ below 50 and think it will require more
"care" & effort and often say no. So she thinks new testing--more catered to
the non-verbal side of things I believe will hopefully hone in his IQ number and
possibly help with him eventually re-applying for placement. I have no
expectations. None. I am numb. I hit rock bottom after our last court date and
now I truly just try to keep to myself & enjoy the fact that he is in town
for any holiday, for any time he needs me and for any time I need a Carson
pick-me-up.
(Which is about three times a week.)
I am late in getting the many pages of
paperwork turned in for this testing.
While I was feeling guilty the the last month
about that, I realized it may have been for the best to wait until he is feeling
better and back to some sort of normal. So hopefully he will benefit from the
wait. Maybe that was God's plan. Rest and peace for us both.
He goes back to the doctor this month to
retest his blood. Hopefully that is all improved too. In pictures everyone
thinks he looks good. In person, his mother sees--way too thin, eyes hollowed
out & his skin/hair have changed a lot. I am praying he is snapping back as
we speak. He is smiling much more which makes my momma heart thrilled.
In the meantime, I have decided that Carson
and I are healing and ready to start moving forward. And since he is actually in
the same town with me for this birthday for the first time in many years--we
shall PAR-TAY. I never know where he'll be at the next birthday. His birthday
last year I spent moving him to Tahlequah. Seems like it's been a long, grueling
year for Carson.
But this is a big one. This one will be the
best one yet.
Sweet Sixteen. We may not be getting a drivers
license, or partying like most sixteen year olds, but we need to whoop it up. So
I'm throwing my baby a birthday party and I'm checking him out and bringing him
to the party. We need to have some fun!!!!
