Best to just jump in and rip the band-aid off.
It wasn't good people. I'll just shoot straight with ya. I wasn't stressed about son#2 coming home for a visit again, I was stressed trying to get all of the end of the school year crapola done. (Yes mom, "crapola". It rhymes with crayola.)
In fact, I was SO very happy son#2 was coming. I had big plans. I cooked all day Thursday and made his favorite casserole, veges and cookies. I had dinner ready for when we'd get home Friday. I couldn't even stop smiling if I'd wanted to Thursday.
Friday, well, first God blessed us with clouds on the trip up because it was already humid and 80 degrees. Therapy was at 10am and son#2 was looking SO good. We were all packed up, checked out around 11am, had the big bag of his meds and were on our way. We thought we'd stop at the halfway point on the way back in Stroud at their McDonalds for lunch to eat & let son#2 stretch his legs. I had *just* taken a cute picture of all my chickies in the backseat and sent it to my friends saying that my heart was singing, when "it" happened.
We blew a tire just after getting on I-35 again. The one tire that was old and original.(The Sheriff said the tire nuts were rusted on.) We had heard a "POP" sound like something hit the back end of the car but cars & trucks were passing us so fast, we assumed it was a dirt clod or something. (Apparently it was a plug in the tire and it had popped out & the tire lost air pretty fast.) As soon as we pulled over, the clouds disappeared. Of course.
I called for the auto-club, and warned the police where we were on the highway and that we had two Autistic kids in the car--3 kids total. Does that seem unwarranted to you? The dispatcher thought so & let me know they did not have the man-power to have someone come & wait with us while we were changing a flat tire. I said okay, I was just giving you a warning, and politely hung up.
BRIGHT SIDE NOTE: I have been told, the Oklahoma Highway Patrol was not happy with the way they handled the last incident we were involved in bringing son#2 back last time. SO they will all be undergoing training in how to deal with Autistic persons. I cannot tell you how happy I am to think we went through all that horrible mess, to help someone else later down the road so maybe their experience, is bettered in some way.)
I think Hubby had joked with a friend just this week that we were going to try and get the police headcount down from 12 to 2 this time around. We are nothing if not truthful.
Two uniformed officers came. One was a Sheriff & stopped to check on us after stopping a teeny, tiny, old lady in a Cadillac just to make sure she wasn't a teenager stealing the vehicle. And the other came for back up, all before the auto club guy showed. The AAA guy was impressed that the police came (it seriously IS not a good highway to change a tire on yourself and they told us this AGAIN.) and not just one but TWO.
After I had made these initial phone calls, I called Camelot immediately to let Lolly the therapist know what was going on. Just in case someone had to come get son#2. Turns out we'd passed Toya, our son's staff member/miracle worker, in the parking lot without seeing her. She heard what was going & drove out to help keep son#2 cool & calm. It was SO nice of her on her day off. She loves my baby so I love her.
After we were on our doughnut, (Which son#3 was *dying* to see for himself--envisioning a real doughnut--he is indeed my child.)we followed Toya to a nearby Wal-Mart to get a real tire. We weren't taking three kids home with a back spare for 2 hrs.
Turns out that first (yes, FIRST) WM, didn't have a tire & lube bay. We headed to the next one (#2), again following Toya, and it was just a small Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market. Fail!
We did about 20 mins more of driving, with hungry, very tired, hot kids in the backseat, and found ANOTHER WM(#3). Toya and I go in, while Hubby took the car info down about the tire. I had promised the kids McDonalds, and it turns out this specific WM, only had Subway. Damn those healthy buggers! Son#1 had a meltdown, son#2 quickly took a lady in the next booth's bun off her sandwich and scared her half-to-death. Luckily she was good-natured about it all. And about the time Toya & I started to get it under control, Hubby comes back to say, that the automotive dept computer *says* there's a tire there to fit our car, but they can't find it.
So we packed up kiddos and took off to ANOTHER WM.
Toya again leading the parade. (And adults still having not eaten or drank much yet.) But at least we're keeping son#2's demon's at bay.
2pm-ish
It's 90 degrees by now. We get to our fourth WM, and yes they have the tire, and YES they have a McDonalds. We sent poor Toya back off into her own life to enjoy her weekend off. God bless her with something. She deserved it. Second lunch for kids! Yes, we're hobbits. While Hubby was off dealing with the car/tire issue, I got the kids eating and some very nice lady came & asked me if I needed help. She looked so concerned for me. God bless her but there was nothing she could do at this stage unless she had a bag full of money and big ol' chill pill for mama bear!
We walked around in that WM for 2 hrs. Son#2 was over-stimulated and finding strange things like ladders he'd take down that tickled his fancy and the other two with giant cases of the "Gimme's".
I think we spent the majority of our time on the fan aisle. It was the warmest WM I've been inside in awhile. Of course.
(Oh and a big fat thank you, to the goobers that left a used Big Gulp on a shelf near the fans complete with nasty dried out, opened package of Whoppers. You made son#2's day & that hunger I was starting to feel went bye-bye. And whatever idiot boy came up with putting all the S'more makings like Hershey bars back by automotive---THANK YOU TOO! I owe ya big time. I thought that'd be a safe part of the store since the other food half was definitely off limits. But NOoooooooo! Thanks for that.)
We also realized during these trips to different Wal-Marts that our battery cables needed replaced because it's not a great connection. We lost the clock and the cigarette lighter. Which means no charger for the dvd player or phones or Tom-Tom. Of course.
4pm
We made a decision & called Camelot. We were going to take son#2 back to camp. There was no way in our mind that he'd get in a hot car, in prime Memorial Day weekend traffic and drive 2 hrs back home with us--eat, shower & go to bed--turning around and leaving the house Saturday by 8am again. It was too much. We had wasted our day & never left the city. It was so, utterly disappointing. I wanted to cry, puke and slap somebody all at once. I would never have been as sane as I was through all of it (and I'm pretty sure Hubby questions that.) if I didn't have my Prayer Warrior Chicks. They were on it. We were texting & they were lifting me up in prayer when I just didn't have the energy myself. God is good. It was such a long, hot day. It probably sounds pretty tame in comparison to the other incident, but you've never spent a day chasing after my three sons in a Wal-Mart. And I bet if I let you, you wouldn't or couldn't do it again. It was safe & air-conditioned.
4:30pm
We took son#2 back to camp. He was fine with us leaving then. I know he was so tired. He kept yawning & he's the Energizer bunny. I told Lolly when I handed back all his meds I'd been tempted to take the whole bag myself to calm me down. She laughed. I didn't.
The traffic was not nearly as bad as I thought it'd be on the way back to Tulsa, but the wind was causing some trucks trouble with keeping on the road. I was so jumpy and stressed with any bump or noise the car made. I think I drove my husband batty. (**see below**)
7pm
I am happy to say we were SAFELY home. Son#3 kept yipping happily when he saw things he recognized,that we "were back in Oklahoma!" and how we needed to take the subway the next time we go to see Carson. Hubby and I agreed it'd be smart to dig a tunnel for a train. I might do that this summer.
I wish I could tell you our story ended her. It didn't.
We ordered a pizza when we got home & seriously I can't even explain the drama. They called me back immediately asking for the address to confirm it was for delivery. It would be a 35-45 min wait. Sigh! But when it'd been an hour and I could peel myself off the couch I called back...
Me: "Where is our pizza South Broken Arrow Papa Johns?????"
PJ: "Umm well no one put delivery on it, it's been sitting here."
ME: "What's your name?"
PJ: "Drew."
Me: "Well, listen Drew. The reason I know this mess up is your fault is because you called me back to ASK me what address for delivery. SO, I'd like a newly baked HOT pizza that's free. Do you think you can do that Drew?"
PJ: /pause "Umm yeah I think we can. We will. I'll do that."
Me: "Thank you. I'll tell ya Drew, I just spent a very bad day in a city I didn't want to be stuck in ever again, and it's still a pretty bad day. I haven't eaten a bite of food all day and it's now 8pm. I want you to know I know it's not YOUR fault Drew but I'm yelling at you just the same. Okay?"
PJ: "Yeah okay. I'm sorry."
Me: "Thank you Drew. Now go make me a pizza."
For those of you who can't picture ME saying that & actually standing up for myself---you can bet your sweet bippy I DID say all that--100% true! It was NOT the day to mess with me. And this location had done this SAME thing to us the LAST time we got back from the highway incident with son#2. Of course.
9pm
Camelot called. After we left & son#2 was at dinner he got upset and had to be put in a hold. He knew he was supposed to get to go. But WE knew he'd never have made it for 2 more hrs in the car. It may not make sense to you, but I beg you not to judge that. My big mama heart wanted him home. I wanted to squeeze him & love on him all night long. But the day would have gotten worse. And we had two kids in the car besides him that were exhausted & desperate to get home too. They were sad too. Son#3 broke my heart writing me a note last night that I should never leave son#2 at camp again.
Camelot called again today. Son#2 bit a nurse & they had to pry his teeth off her arm. He's mad. Not the usual staff--holiday weekend. And he's not at home. He knows. I know. My heart isn't singing anymore. It's sad. Very sad. I know I've written a lot & you wanna stop reading. I know I've said this before, but it warrants repeating.
Autism can warrant pity or garner sympathy or even support. But it's not pretty day in and day out. It's the screaming child at the supermarket/McDonalds, that didn't get their way or you didn't do it the same way for. It's the child no one understands or who people stare at or find uncomfortable to be around. And difficult to even like all the time. Some people feel uncomfortable with what they can't fix. They may like you, but they just don't understand. However, it is what it is. And knowledge is power which is why I let you in on all the ins/outs sometimes. It sure isn't because I like typing it all out to relive it. Knowledge can change behavior and that excites me. I don't feel I can change the world but I can help change mine. Sometimes.
**For you church people I kept thinking of the song about "The winds and the waves shall obey Thy will, peace be still, peace be still. Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea or demons or men or whatever it be, no water can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and sky. They all shall sweetly obey Thy will, peace be still, peace be still. They all shall sweetly obey Thy will, peace, peace be still."
