I won, I won, I won!!

I never win ANYTHING-yet I just won a caption contest for our LYS (local yarn store) in downtown Tulsa. Here's the baby picture I was supposed to find a caption for & the handspun yarn I won! My winning caption was "Pardon me, do you have any Gray Poupon?"
http://www.loopsknitting.com/blog/2007/09/lilys-caption-contest.html

Shave & A Haircut...Two Bits

*** WARNING-Some of these parental decesions you may not agree with. However, until you live at my house, you don't get to choose what's uncalled for or complain about how YOU'D handle MY children. This is just to maybe enlighten you as to how a very ordinary thing & even fun for most kids, isn't for us.***

When you go get a haircut it's usually something you schedule, look forward to (especially if you're a woman) and maybe even enjoy. For me, I love it. Puts me to sleep to have someone playing with my hair. Hubbo's hair grows so fast he has his cut every two weeks. However, haircuts have come to mean entirely different things to our family since we've had kids. Normal things aren't always normal in our household, even the most common things don't get to be normal or easy. It zaps your strength & leaves your mental energy comatose for an hour afterwards.

Children on the Autism Spectrum most often have all kinds of different sensory issues. One of the huge ones for our boys has always been the ears. Nothing loud, anything new or they cover them, and DON'T put anything by or in them! I know you're asking, "And this has WHAT to do with haircuts?" Well, when you're kids have sensory issues & won't just allow you to cut their hair, you have to get creative or go hippy.

There's two clear options: scissors & clippers. We first tried scissors. We'd put son#1 as a baby in a highchair in front of the tv & pop in a video. My mom would get out the scissors & we'd cut his hair & he'd hardly notice. As he got older, he noticed, BIG TIME. He grew stronger & bigger than high chairs & it took more to give him haircuts. Until you've wrapped your kid in a towel & held them down for a haircut & made them cry till they puke, you don't know parental guilt. It became clear as son #1 got older it was easier to just buzz his hair. And less dangerous since scissors stab. Then later, as he began to talk & communicate better with words, it was easier to make him understand that the haircut wasn't bad. Now, we're to the point of big boy haircuts with him done with scissors. And he only scrunches his neck a little when you get to over the ears. I believe his last conversation with my mom cutting his hair outside in a t-shirt & his underwear went like this.

Nana: "Put on this cape so you won't get hair on you. "

Son#1: "Oh, ok. It's a shirt shield?" (another Star Wars reference)

Mommy: "Yeah I guess it is." (laughing)

Son#1: "You won't use pokey scissors will you Nana?"

Nana: "No honey & Nana will try not to poke you with them."

Son#1: "Nana?"

Nana: "Yes baby?"

Son#1: "Can I get an underwear shield? There's hair falling all over me here."

That was a couple weeks ago & although it's taken 9 years, it's sheer progress! We're proud of him for not crying anymore. And son#1 even lets Hubbo do the no guard clean up with the clippers on his neck & over his ears. We've come a long way baby!!

Son#2 has issues with communication so that makes haircuts even MORE of a challenge. He doesn't know it won't hurt or isn't anything to be upset over. Today is school picture day for son #2. So last night I ran to the store & picked up a couple of shirts to go with his background we chose & some new shoes he needed. Then the REAL fun began. This summer son#2 moved out of the high chair & into sitting by himself (when he sits) at the dining room table. Nice accomplishment but it means trouble on the haircutting front. We dragged out the old highchair to keep him contained in & got out the clippers. We even bought the kid clippers that makes less noise. Son#2 is still in the phase of the buzzing hurting his ears & really just screaming about being contained for it all. He scrunches his shoulders and covers his ears & tucks his chin down to his chest.

I realize this is all seems cruel & unusual punishment, but how else do you give your child a haircut? Take them in public where STRANGERS can scare them? Let them scream down the salon or barber shop? The people cutting WILL stop & not go on, I promise you that. One time when son#2 was about 3-4 yrs old, he fell asleep on the floor on his tummy. I slowly stuck a towel under his head. I turned on the clippers & laid them by his head & jacked up the volume of the tv so it would drown out some of the clipper noise. After a minute or so of knowing he was used to that noise, I buzzed his hair while he slept. Whole haircut & he was none the wiser. Some people thought that was terrible of me. I guarentee if you came over last night, you'd opt for the sleeping version. He's not as deep a sleeper to do that anymore & his head has WAY more hair too. But it WAS one of my more creative moments as a mommy.

Last night we had a plan of just blending his hair with the clippers up the sides & leaving the top long. We got out the old high chair, got him in it, and began. Usually I'm the one that does the haircut & Hubbo holds his hands away from the action. This time, I held the hands. Funny enough, it took less time I think (average haircut for son#2 is about 30-40 min-those are VERY VERY long minutes, especially for son#2) and it looked WAY better! Son #2 even let Hubbo do the back & sideburns with no guard. He did cry & fuss & we had to hold his arms & push his head into our chest & hold it there to do either side, but it got done. I think he fights a little less each time. I swept up all the hair & cleaned up the highchair while Hubbo took Son#2 off to the shower.

I put gel in his hair this morning & combed it. Usually there's no need for combing it, it's so coarse that it does it's own thing. He looked adorable & sweet. Oh and he really looked his age-7 years old. My baby is growing up. Nothing like those big boy haircuts to make them look more like their daddy. Now watch, he'll be looking the other way in his picture today!

Point & Jabber

We are happy to announce that son#3 has reached a small but important, developmental milestone this past week. He is pointing at things & jabbering to us about them. Usually it's some form of "that", and it comes out sounding like "dat". This may be taken in stride by other parents, but we're on our third child & have never been through this phase once yet. We could not be happier since the speech therapist that was here Memorial Day weekend said that was a precursor to talking for most babies.

Also, everyone is "dada". Well, except Nana. He's got that her name down too. As much as I try, Hubbo tries, he still looks at me & says "dada". With a smile on his face, first thing in the morning, happy to see me..."dada". Sigh! He's gotten close a couple of times to the Mmmmm sound, but still no luck. At first I thought he was taunting me, now I'm not sure it's in the cards for me to be called mom. You'd think me being the parent that's here with them 90% of the time, they'd choose to say MY name. But NOOOOOOO! That's too easy I guess! Son #2 who doesn't use many things that sound like words- even one of his VERY few, is "dee-a-dee". Oh and the real kicker, son #1, the one who speaks at will with any word he cares to...calls me Julie. Yeaaaaah. Try going to the book fair or somewhere new & in public & having your kid call you by your first name. Everyone thinks you're the babysitter! When I came to son#1's school last year, he was SOOOO excited, he about cried. Literally. Smile on his face, walking down the hallway introducing me to the librarian, music teacher, etc. Then another teacher comes out of her classroom & asks, "Oh, is this your mother?" Son#1: "Nope, this is Julie." Sigh! Maybe one day.

In the meantime, we feel elated every time son#3 points & looks back at us jabbering, knowing that he's leaving that Autism gene behind him in his dust!

Fort Knox

If you've come to our home you've seen all our locks on almost every door. They're the ones you used to see on your grandma's screen door. Just a hook & eye type latch. We have them at the tops of every door but the kids room. All the closets, hall & bedroom. The bathroom & even a giant one my dad put on the door that goes from the kitchen into the garage. We started this a couple years ago for son#2. When he came out of his little cocoon & discovered there was a world for his taking. And take he did. Crisco out of cabinets to feel & smear all over his face. Vaseline out of the bathroom; which stays for a long time in your hair. Lotion is pretty squeezed out all over the carpet up & down the hallway. And then there's the front & back doors with the key dead bolts. VERY handy indeed! This weekend it was shower gel ALLLLLLL over the bathroom floor. With my gimpy knee, I let daddy look like Keystone Cops in there cleaning it up.



Our probably most inventive lock to date has to be the dog collar you'll see on the fridge. It keeps the fridge locked, and so far keeps son#2 from defeating it & stuffing his already chubby little face with hand dipped butter. I personally thought this one was quite ingenious on our part. This past summer, since son#2 has grown to 4ft 4 inches tall & turned 7 years old, we've had to move some of the locks up higher out of his reach. Not pretty, but it gets the job done. We also had to install some little alarms recently because he's tall enough to open all the higher cabinets in the kitchen--or our closet which he seems to be able to pop the lock on & string out my yarn. Now when he pulls them open a nice shrill, piercing alarm goes off & scares him away & us to the scene of the crime.



But now, he has a partner. An accomplice if you will, a new master mind to try & help him evade our Fort Knox we have going here. Son #3 has taken to this life of "crime" with ease. He's fast, sneaky, and QUIET. He is able to tread where the 92lbs of son#2 can not tread quietly. #3's interests include, standing on the dining room table, on top of the toy shopping cart, toy box or anything else he can get a leg up on. He has total domination over sneak attacks. He will wait till you get up to get something & army crawl in & swipe the remote before you even know what happened. He'll take the loots and run somewhere around a corner, flatten himself on the floor & turn his head so you can't possibly see him. Yeah right! Sneaky little bugger! (Be very quiet, I'm hunting wabbit tracks.) Sometimes, if you're lucky, you saw which way he went & you can track the remote down in less than 10 minutes. Other times, it's hopeless & you might as well find something else to do until something good comes back on that channel. Or paper rock scissors for which of you will stand there pushing channel up.



Son #3 is small enough to squeeze himself into spaces you can't follow & usually manages to take SOMETHING of importance with him you want. Or another brother wants. Like a cup or food. He's tall for his age & his no problem reaching up to the table or opening the microwave to see what potential lies there for the taking. #3's super power is his cute cheeks and that beautiful little smile. Very disarming. You forget the craftiness with which he thinks & can move because you're focused on his cute, curly hair & big brown eyes! Together there's no need for words between them (good thing since neither one can talk yet) they just know which area is at a weakened state & has potential to be ripe for the picking.



Two peas in a pod. Inseperable, except at naptime.

I give you The Swaim Duo:


I'm sure there's plotting going on here.