Hello friends & family. It's been awhile since I've
given you an update on Carson's situation & plight to get him what
he needs. I will try to explain what's been going on, but bear with me. I've been putting this off
for a month or so. All this information has taken me months to collect & it's been in small bits & pieces around from different people. And to be honest, it's gut wrenching to even sit here & type it all out for you. We are in a very sensitive place right now sort of riddled with anxiety off & on as our minds fade in and out of distraction.
But it is easier to explain it one time & with a fluid train of thought. Also, if it seems I'm being vague--I am.
For reasons of protection that could come back on us. I'm trying to tread carefully since we are new to this situation & want to protect ourselves. Thank you for your patience as we've tried to explain blindly or politely changed the subject.
Tomorrow is D-day for us. Tomorrow, July 30th, 2013 is the day we are
supposed to pick Carson up. As in, he is supposed to come home.
Contrary to all that we hear,from people in positions to know or experts in this field, our research with actual people tells us that the special needs petition isn't really a form to fill out or a waiting list
to be listed on. It's us the parent, petitioning the court to place Carson in a facility on a full-time basis. To do this, we refuse to pick him up tomorrow.
The fact that we will refuse to pick him up, begins the process. The person we are in contact with, tells us this is the only way. Which is such a shame.
As much as I hate to say this, it will technically be us, abandoning Carson by our refusal to come get him.
The word hurts me so if you've used it around me lately & I've flinched, you can understand why.
I'll try to explain a little of why it has to be done this way.
In Oklahoma in 1964, Hissom Memorial Center was donated in Sand Springs for a home/institution for those with mental disabilities. They housed over 1200 patients. In the 80's a group called Homeward Bound brought a suit against the center in hopes of closing it down and placing patients into communities and integrating them into society as much as possible, contending it was more humane and much cheaper than institutionalization. Hissom closed in 1987. As in any establishment, I concede there were probably many issues that were wrong with Hissom & at the same time, many people/children that it helped benefit.
After it's closing, legislation was passed to prevent any child in Oklahoma from being permanently institutionalized. What this means for Carson is that until he's 18 yrs old, he would have to go to places like Rose Rock, and be there MAYBE a year, then checked out for 6 months & re-admitted when there was space. All the while, with the staff knowing, he isn't "cured" of his aggressive behavior & that most kids like Carson are just starting as they enter puberty.
What happens with the special needs petition is, we will call Shadow Mtn tomorrow morning---and by we I mean Matt--to let them know we will NOT be picking him up. Then they may possibly send a letter threatening us to pick him up or they'll call the police. We would then send THEM a letter detailing why we don't feel it's safe for our other children to pick Carson up & return him home. However long it takes DHS to become involved, they will be contacted & whenever they get to it, Carson will be moved to a new facility they've built in Tulsa for kids that are wards of the state. We've heard it's nice & he will be taken care of. Then we will go to court (hopefully avoiding arrest--God is good.) and explain why we can no longer have Carson at home for his safety or ours. They assign us to a DHS person & meanwhile Carson is in DHS custody, along with having a guardian ad litem--whom we already know God has chosen. Sources say, we do not need a lawyer for this, it's pretty informal, but you obviously CAN have one if you wish. We called one lawyer but he claimed to have invented the special needs petition & wanted a $2500 retainer to tell us anything. We'll be going this alone. As scary as it all is, our story has made it's way around Tulsa. We choose to trust & believe God has this one.
After a few more court dates, Carson will most likely return to Rose Rock in OKCity. And we will still retain visitation but will NOT have to attend weekly therapy sessions etc. Our rights as parents are still there but the burden of We will then EVERY 30 DAYS, return to court, to have his papers stamped with "discharged" and then we will be asked if anything has changed on our part--we say no. Then his papers are immediately re-stamped with "re-admitted". This is how the state gets around it's own law it's too lazy to change, which keeps Carson from remaining "permanently" in an institution. This will continue until he's 18 yrs old, we find a place in another state perhaps, or until I pester enough state officials to move money around & place him out of state.
As you can see Carson still needs prayers, we are more at peace but it's nerve wracking. The past months doing Tuesday therapies and playing this game with the therapist is more than I can get into right now but needless to say it was draining. Her asking if we're ready for him to come home & if we have all our papers for the special needs petition filled out. All the while she knows what that entails & so do we. It's like a dance that I am NOT good at. Fakeness & lying are two things I really despise. Anyway, please continue the encouragement & prayers for our entire family while we go through this difficult time.
