Hodge Podge

Random thoughts by a cold induced brain fog formerly known as--myself.



*I think God makes babies & kids cute so that when they do something wrong you can't throttle them as hard as you like. If I have to pick up one more shattered bulb from the Christmas tree, or set the tree back up again, I'm gonna scream or leave home for 2 weeks. I can't be responsible for my actions.



*Was bringing son#1 back to school the other day & he met some lady he knew in the office & hugged her & while hugging her made a kissing noise...on her boob. This is just the height he's at, but it caused her a smidge of alarm. The principal called me into her office & explained he did this to her last year. Maybe I could explain to him, kissing noises & pursed lips belong up above the neckline. Sigh! This ought to be a really interesting conversation huh?



*I finished knitting son#3's
sweater in time for Thanksgiving------>
(much thanks to Becky for the advice along the way)



*Our church here is going through some problems. I'm very frustrated that people today feel the need to have a timed worship service, see their friends as elders-qualified or not, get in everyone elses business, oh and be entertained or they'll take their toys & go home. There are plenty of people standing up getting angry, but not about the right thing.



*All the big boys have been sick in the house for a few weeks. Now the baby & I have it. But I feel like if I hear another cough, sputter, sneeze or fart, I'm gonna go out of my mind!! What happened to suffering silently!? And no, women don't belong in that category, we have our own thank you very much. It's called "I-Run-This-House-But-If-I-Get-Sick-No-One-Cares"



*My husband's company Christmas party is next Friday. I usually really enjoy this since it's almost our only date for the year. Literally. We go to a Chinese resturant & then do a very time consuming Dirty Santa gift exchange. With over 100 people...it takes awhile. This year, they're allowing children. WHAT!? There's always some non-English speaking couple that brings a baby anyways, well-behaved I might add, but COME ON! Why on earth do children need to be out on a Friday night, contained in this hot room, stuffed with presents to the ceiling until midnight!? It's like the grocery store, I come there without my kids to get AWAY from that noise & chaos. I don't want to hear yours there! Think people!



*And why on earth does everyone who ever hurts a child have to have their story plastered where I HAVE to at least read the headline when I log onto the internet? I don't want to see it anymore. I don't want to know what horrible things are being done to children by their own relatives. Maybe it used to happen all the time & we just didn't have the internet to hear about it. Maybe the people get ideas from the stories of others. I don't care. I can't take anymore, start showing me some happy crap gosh darn-it!!!!



*Could someone somewhere please make a rule or law that states you are NOT allowed to go out in public in your pajama pants??? I don't care if you're skinny or younger than me, just don't do it. We all know it's mostly the people that AREN'T skinny doing it. And I DO NOT want to see your scraggledy butt in house-shoes scuffing around the grocery store either. The sound of you sliding your feet (you know who you are!) is like nails on a chalk board! And while we're at it, women...WEAR A BRA...not a tank top to the store. It may not matter to you, but it sure does to the rest of us!


WHEW! I feel a WHOLE lot better!!! Now where's my Vicks....

But Why?

First I need to start off with explaining that Son#1 distingiushes his food by shapes. He always has. Round crackers are Ritz crackers. Octagon crackers are oyster crackers. And then of course that leaves his favorite cracker, saltines, or square crackers. Son#1's array of food isn't a long list. Part of Autism a lot of times leads to sensory issues. As I've described before, haircuts, loud noises etc. Food has texture to it...all of it. That makes it a sensory issue. Since he was a baby Son#1 would take those Gerber jars of babyfood with tiny chunks of meat in it & eat the spoonful only to wallow the piece of meat around in his mouth & deposit it back on my spoon. He wasn't even walking yet when he did this. He's NEVER been a fan of meat or veges or fruit.



So most days he's eating crackers, yogurt, chips or peanutbutter pretzels. On rare occasions we can get him to eat a grilled cheese. When he first started going to Denny's we had to "BYOF"-Bring Your Own Fries. Then he tried grilled cheese & from then on proclaimed "GOLD CHEESE SANDWICHES" good fare. BUT, only the ones from Denny's. Just a note here, don't ever think they'll let you buy JUST the sandwich with no fries at Denny's. They won't. They'll still charge you $3 for one plain "gold cheese" sandwich. This got to be an expensive habit because he'll eat several at a time. We even had acquired some of the red plastic baskets they serve the sandwiches in to fool him at home. I would cut my wax paper just so, make sure the sandwich was browned but not too brown. Cut it on the diaganol. No go. He knew it wasn't Denny's. However, this year, we've discovered he'll eat Sonic gold cheese sandwiches. Hurray! Cheaper & closer to our house. We indulge him about once every two weeks. Before you think I'm a mean mommy, he's figured out how to put up a wall & hold out on eating. So if we did the Sonic grilled cheese all the time, he'd never eat anything else & he'd wait us out for it, trust me. Same with McD's fries. We've tried to show him Wendy's has fries, and so does Braums. No go. That child is too smart for his own good.



The shape of the food brings me around to this past Sunday morning. I got Son#1 to accompany me & the baby to church that morning. I had plenty of books, snacks, Star Wars guys & dropped the baby off at the nursery. I had prepped him in the car we had to whisper, sit still and at one point they'll dim the lights but it won't get dark. (during communion) I was looking forward to him going to children's Bible hour & getting to sit through a sermon. It's been awhile! Daddy has to stay at home with Son#2 because he's the strongest...and this time, Son#2 protested A LOT at being left out.



So as we come in to the auditorum, he sees the communion plates ready for later at the back of the auditorium. He was very curious. I pull him on & we sit and he does super throughout the first part of the service. Then communion time came, the lights dimmed, and he leans over & whispers to me, "What's going on?"



me: "Remember I told you the lights would dim but not go out. This is communion"



We were doing good till they brought "the bread". Sigh!



Son#1: (in loud whispered voice) "Hey! Those are square crackers! I LOVE square crackers! I want some!"



me: "Uh no. These ARE square crackers, but they are grown-up square crackers, see how big they are? And kids aren't supposed to eat them. See-No kids are eating them."



Son#1: "But why can't I have any? My tummy is telling me it's hungry & I love square crackers! Everyone else is eating but me!" (which was sort of true to a very literal minded child)



Luckily by this point the nice man had come & taken the tray away again. But then, it's time for the grape juice.



Son#1: "Oh yummm I LOVE cherry juice! Look at all the little cups Julie!"



me:"Yeah but those aren't for kids either. And it's grape juice, not cherry juice."


I try to hold the tray with one hand, take my tiny cup with the other, and guess who moved in for the kill? You got it! Now I realize that these things represent other things (Christ blood & body) and they won't HURT him to eat them. But I didn't really have it in me to deal with all those weird looks people throw you when people just let their kid do the buffet conga through the communion trays.



I managed to get the juice away from him without too much incident & back in the tray & pass it off. I gave him his snacks from my bag & distracted him with change for the contribution that was next. And don't worry, I was careful to explain to my VERY literal son, that you can't take it back out when you put it in the tray. Crisis avoided.



Although he went to children's Bible hour, he came back after a little bit, not liking their singing. Everyone's a critic. He sat looking at his Bible & books. I was so proud he do so well. Then as he started getting antsy I showed him on the front of the announcement the order things were progressing in. Song titles, prayers, and sermon. I showed him that we just had a little bit longer. Two songs a prayer & we could go. He wasn't thrilled but kept it together. For a bit.

Then someone went forward during our invitation song. Uh oh, we're deviating from the program. Mom said two songs and a prayer...this is taking even longer! He did start whispering quite loudly. I was on the end & he was trying to get past me. I finally pulled out the ol' "Be quiet & sit down, everyone is looking at you."



Son#1: (stands up, looks around) "No they're not!"



me: sigh! "Sit your hiney down or there's not computer when we get home!"



Then the closing prayer.



Son#1:"What's a prayer?"



me: "You know what a prayer is. It's when we talk to God."



Son#1: (looking all around) "But where is he, I don't see him?"



me:"He's in heaven, remember? With Papa & Nana2? We can't see him."



Son#1: "Then why are we talking to him?"


I was just SOOOO thankful Jimmy Allen wasn't there to lead us in 16 verses of "Just As I Am".

Happy Birthday Daddy

Today would have been my father's 74th birthday. He would have a big pecan pie. And I'm sure I would have bought him something with the St. Louis Cardinals on it. There was a song I kept hearing on the radio during the few days before he died & afterwards too. It seemed like such a heart wrenching thing at the time, but I never had the strength to turn the station. I always had to listen. Then later on, it became more like a comforting pat on the back from God. The words are such an honest read on what heaven ultimately is. Shedding the sins & struggles we have carried all these years.

"When I Get Where I'm Goin" by Brad Paisley with Dolly Parton

Paparazzi

I'm sure we've all seen the clips on tv or online with different starlets and hunky men from television & movies. They are chased relentlessly by the paparazzi. They take their pictures are out on dates, trips to the store or out with their kids. Calling their name, wanting the picture that will get them the most money. I can't imagine being hassled like that or hounded until you have a car accident or just want to escape. The celebs wear wigs, sunglasses and try secluded spots to try & avoid the paparazzi.

I realize that being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom) isn't exactly glam to a lot of people. Sometimes it's not to us either! There's diapers, accidents that don't even make it INTO the diapers, illness, tantrums, biting, pinching, scratching and of course crying jags (although some of those could be mine). Now there ARE several perks to the job though. Hugs, kisses & that little light in their eyes that comes alive when you walk in a room. Those are all the obvious ones, but did you know being a SAHM wins you your own groupies? Yes, that's right, I have my very own paparazzi. They follow me around wherever I go. I go out in the garage to do laundry, they are pounding on the door trying to get to me. (or perhaps it's the snacks I keep out there)
The bathroom--a shower means little hands reaching under the door or crying outside making me rush leaving soap in my hair so I can rush out & address my waiting "paps" in a towel.

Dinner is a huge event. I swear they can hear me open the fridge and they come running. They're like cats and the can opener! I'm beginning to wonder if they've used their allowance to go buy one of those Listen Up! hearing devices. Once they're in the kitchen with me it's all grabbing at my legs, swiping at food, pushing cups at me for refills, and asking when they can have this or that. They hound me until I can't take anymore, or I feed them. It's even worse when I try to go to the grocery store. I come back & there they are, waiting for me. I can barely get in the back door with the sacks & slap them up on the counter & there they are wanting me to pick them up like they haven't seen me in days, pulling at me to get them something (what's wrong with your dad's arms?) or digging through the sacks to see what I've brought them.

My paparazzi is relentless, annoying and has very sharp elbows. BUT, they're my biggest fans. They aren't going to sell my autograph on ebay, they don't want the "money shot" of me with no make-up, they just want me. I think I can dig that. Most days anyway.

Celebrations Assembly

Son#1 had an assembly coming up at school & he'd always backed out in the past. He practice all nice, but would never perform at the end in front of everyone. I told him I'd come to this one & he promptly told me then he'd sit with me & wouldn't sing. I told him I wasn't coming to see everyone else sing, just him. And that if he didn't perform, I wasn't going to go at all. I tried to bribe him with taking pictures for his scrapbook, no dice. Finally, the morning of the assembly (Tues-23rd) I said I'd take video if he'd get up there & sing. He readily agreed as long as I'd make it into a Quicktime movie for him to watch on the computer. (He loves it when we upload the videos from birthdays etc and he watches them over & over on the computer.) Son#1 also told me he'd stand up on stage, but just mouth the words. I can live with that.

I got to the school early enough with the baby in a stroller to get a good seat. And his class came in soon after. It was all 4th & 5th graders from the whole school. Then the rest of the school/teachers were all piled in the cafeteria to watch. The video doesn't even show HALF the kids on stage. I was really proud of him that he did it! And by that I mean stayed up there & sang or at least pretended too. You can tell he's sort of dancing along, even when there weren't hand movements or choreography. I think he was hamming it up for the camera personally. You'll notice my hand shakes in some of them. That was either, the baby messing with my arm, me laughing or my arm shaking from 15 straight minutes of holding my arm up in the air.

They did a couple small songs & I was thrilled that my camera batteries held out, thinking we were done. I put the camera away & one of my son's teachers offered to take the baby out for a stroll down the hallway to keep him occupied. That was wonderful! Then they handed out awards, which Son#1 did receive one for reading his books for the quarter. When I saw they were going to send a couple more songs, I KNEW I better run get that camera that was in the bottom of the stroller. I ran out into the hallway to get it, talked to some teachers a bit until a helper came out & told me I better hurry. Seems Son#1 wasn't allowing the music teacher to start those songs, until his mom came back with her camera. Sigh! I told you he was a ham!

In the curriculum from the state, the 3rd & 4th graders must learn the Pre-Amble to the Constitution & all states & their capitals. The principal was thrilled when the music teacher Mr. Childers taught it all to the kids in song form. I personally think this is brilliant, but then that's the only way I can remember all of Jesus apostles to be honest.

Enjoy the songs, and the "ants-in-my-pants" dance my son seems to have going on. He's in the bright blue shirt, front row, dead center. Bet they don't make THAT mistake twice. Eat your heart out Britney Spears !!

I recommend, I LOVE, Oklahoma, We the People & The Addams Family. Click here & scroll down.

I Love- http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y162/JSwaim/The%20Fam/?action=view&current=Ilove.flv

Oklahoma- http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y162/JSwaim/The%20Fam/?action=view&current=oklahoma.flv

We the People- http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y162/JSwaim/The%20Fam/?action=view&current=wethepeople.flv

Addams Family- http://s5.photobucket.com/albums/y162/JSwaim/The%20Fam/?action=view&current=addamsfamily.flv

10th: aluminum, tin, diamond jewelry

Today, October 18, 2007 hubbo & I have been married 10 years. A DECADE!!!! In many ways it went by fast & it also doesn't seem like 10 years. Then, in other areas, we've gone through a lot for just ten years.

I take you to be my wedded wife.
I take you to meet my family who live far, far away in a state you've never been to. I take you on a trip back to our honemoon spot. I take you on a three day trip back home to see my mother one last time. I take you out to dinner when I can afford it & there's a babysitter. I take you for granted sometimes when I shouldn't.

To have and to hold,
To have some money. To hold your hand. To have some babies. To hold keys to a new house and a new car. To have common sense.

from this day forward, for better, for worse,
Moving. Jobs. Babies. Cancer. Moving. Friends. Branson. Weddings. Babies. Death. Respect.

for richer, for poorer,
Your job-through famine & feast-they understand the needs of our family and allow us to parent accordingly.

in sickness or in health,
Autism for two, your mother's cancer, a two-year-old's broken leg, two sets of tonsils, and my father.

to love and to cherish 'till death do us part.
The way you make me laugh out loud, even when I don't want to. You talking to me in the car and missing a turn. Your helpfullness with the house and all that's in it. Diaper duty and playing with the kids comes so naturally to you. Your selflessness and your endless patience with me and the children. Oh and your snoring.

And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.
For many more decades, hubbo. Many more, so don't think you're going anywhere anytime soon.

Don't Squeeze The Charmin

I found a lump in my breast the month before my dad died, two months before my third baby was born. I went to the doctor & was relieved that I had a matching one on the other side. Apparently they were clogged ducts. Nothing exciting & I was too young to get a mammogram. At the time I had bigger things to worry about.

This years September's scrapbooking crop brought only three of us together. Friend R, a nurse-friend T, my Celiac (wheat allergy) friend & friend G, a really good friend & whose house we were at. Somehow with just a few of us, there was more talk than cropping, accompanied by lots of snacking. The conversation turned to Cancer & then breast Cancer. Turns out, Friend R had survived breast Cancer & I never knew. I knew she was strong & capable of many things, but I immediately had a new respect for her. Friend T did the breast Cancer walk here in Tulsa, in memory of several family members including her mother. And Friend G, well, she had found a lump once & had to go in to have it biopsied. It was benign.

A week later, I found a lump. The same lump. But this time, it was sore-very sore. I scheduled a doctor appointment for the next day & she told me to leave it alone for 2 weeks & not touch it. If it still hurts, come back & they'd do an ultrasound. That was rather surreal. I wasn't too worried. All the things I could Google about breast lumps & soreness didn't point to cancer. As a general rule, as if Cancer abides by rules, Cancer doesn't hurt. Okay then. Now the waiting begins. Two & a half MORE weeks of waiting to get my mammogram & ultrasound.

Today was the day. I went in at 1pm to the Tulsa Breast Cancer Center in the Natalie building, which is between the Warren & Kelley buildings. (all you Tulsa friends out there, go get squished) It was a packed waiting room of lots of old men. Finally the receptionist took pity on them & turned the TV from HGTV to CNN. They were a very fast & efficient staff. They'd call you back for paperwork questions, then dismiss you back to the waiting room. They had a huge nursing staff to take people back very quickly for mammograms. One husband tried to follow his wife back & the nurse politely told him no.

"No men allowed, I'm sorry sir."

"That's okay, I understand."

It was rather comforting to see that many husbands there in support of their wives.

After I was called back I was led to what looked like bathing suit dressing room. There were about ten rooms-five on each side-with chairs in between them. Your nurse-you had your own-ushered you back to an empty room that had a little straw purse hanging on the wall filled with deodorant & wipes. The wipes, she informed me, were to take off any anti-perspirant you were wearing. She said it shows up on the x-rays like little specks. I could happily tell her I wasn't wearing anti-persperant.

***I will take this time to offer up the brand of deodorant stick I use & why. When my mother-in-law found out she had breast cancer several years ago she had just had a mammogram in April & found her lump in October. She lived about two years after that. In that time, she researched & found lots of things that aid Cancer cells to keep forming or regenerating. But one of the things she found that was interesting (her doctor backed this up) is that most anti-persperant contains ALUMINUM as it's first & largest ingredient. And sweating is natural. It's good for your glands. Especially women's lymph glands under their arms. You need those glands to sweat the toxins out of your body. With anti-persperant, your body isn't allowed to sweat & therefore clogs up those glands. The smell your body gives off, is from the bacteria that grows on the toxins your body is getting rid of. This deodorant just kills that bacteria that smells.So, my husband & I use two different kinds of deodorant. This is what I use now: http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?id=prod396895&CATID=304733&skuid=sku396896&V=G&ec=frgl_wic&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=sku396896

My husband uses this kind: http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=304733&navAction=jump&navCount=4&id=prod396875

It's a pretty easy thing to do, to help prevent cancer, and just be healthy, in my opinion. Especially for women.***

Okay, so back to the dressing room. I have to take off my shirt & bra, and put on a cape that snaps in the front. Then sit & read a magazine till it's my turn. There were all kinds of women there-old, middle-aged, and younger. I was the youngest one there. It's amazing how natural women try to make it seem that they are sitting there half-naked with sheets draped over them, full make-up, reading a magazine like they're at the hair salon. The next step is they take you into a room with the mammogram machine & take your info & start snapping pictures. I won't lie to you. It IS very odd to have another woman handle your breast & place it like a chicken cutlet on this VERY VERY COLD machine & proceed to talk in a very soothing voice. As she's talking & asking you questions, she's tightening this vice like you had in shop class, down onto your boob, er, breast I mean. (I hate the word breast. I think that stems back to singing that word in songs at church. Very unnatural.)

If it was a routine yearly exam I would have four films, two of each side. But in my "special" case, I got a whopping seven. SEVEN X-RAYS. I was in weird positions that I wasn't really sure were possible. I had no clue you could stand THAT far away from your own boob! She had sized & shaped attachments sort of like on your vacuum cleaner, she would stick on the machine & then tighten the vice down again while you're reaching with your arm up & over and trying to keep your hair out of the film.

I told her I was certain a man had invented the machine because the board where your boob, er breast, sits is STONE COLD. A woman would have had that done in heated marble I was sure. I'm finished & go back to the dressing room area. The funky colored pink chairs where we all sit & look at magazines and wait for the nurse to come & dismiss you with those very happy words, "You can go now Ms. X, you're fine." At least three of the women left with that phrase ringing in their ears, and then two with, "You can dress & leave now Ms. Y, you'll be receiving a letter in the mail in one week."

I was the only one left for a LONG time. I was still waiting for the ultrasound and then..."Ms. Z? You can dress & go. The doctor found nothing but fatty tissue on your x-rays. There's no need to do an ultrasound on your lump."

me: "Really? So I'm just fat & lumpy?"

nurse: "Yes, well, I mean, no. Sort of." (nervous laugh)

me: "But it's not anything serious right?"

nurse: "Right!"

She handed me a brochure on some things to cut out --caffeine-which I already did. And Vitamin E & Primrose Oil to add in. Oh, and the best part, no more mammograms till I'm 40 years old! I hurriedly dressed & raced home to share the news with hubbo. He was thrilled & did the touchdown sign. I was hoping for an end zone dance, but we didn't want to wake the baby.

So go get squished, it isn't that bad, if you don't have a painful lump.

Tidbits

New shoes on son #1 before the bus came today.
Here's how it went.

Son#1: "No, no, no! I don't WANT new shoes! I want my old ones!"

Mommy: "But you need new shoes, your old ones are wearing out & your toes are too long for those shoes."

Son#1 scrambles to remove his sock & look down at his toes. "But my toes don't LOOK too long."

Mommy: "Come on, these will be great, they are new, and white & pretty."

Son#1" Oh no! (he says dejectedly) These have strings!" (shoelaces)

Mommy: "Yeah, well, when you start wearing mens sized shoes, they really don't make many with velcro."

Time passes, the new shoes are worn, PBS kids becomes more important than the new shoes.

The new shoes for Son#2, won't go over his toes. He gets that from me. They are slip on shoes in an effort to help us ALL out since Son#2 does NOT keep his shoes on for long at all. By the time the bus pulls away from the curb in the mornings, his shoes & socks are already off. But he's smiling. He also gets that barefoot thing from me & I get it from my mom.



Son#1 had been thinking. He passes by me & spits out some soft-spoken little sentence that has nothing to do with anything--yet, still seems oddly important, I better listen again.


Son#1: "I wish Daddy had less sleep."


AH HA!!!! I've often thought that children purposely used that against us in parenting. It's some sort of covert operation they train for in utero. Then they go to some secret pre-school debriefing at a certian stage. They let us resume our sleep schedule & report all the tidbits of they've tortured out of us while we've wandered around for years sleep-deprived. I'm sure it's things like, what decible to whine at for "x" amount of time, to get us to give in on something we WERE once steadfast in refusing. Or maybe it's to wear us down until they see us in slow motion enough to figure out the ins & outs of reverse psychology. Kids DO pick up on things quickly. Whatever it is, I think Son#1 just let it slip that there's DEFINETLY a torture method our country abides by....SLEEP DEPRIVATION!!!! **


Anyway, so Son#1 wishes Daddy had less sleep huh??

Mommy: "Huh? What's that?"

Son#1: "I wish Daddy had less sleep so he'd walk around forgetting stuff & seeing things that weren't there." (said with a giggle)

Mommy: "I think he already does that sweetie. Now go get your backpack on, the bus is almost here."

I can't let on that I know what his reconnaissance mission is. I'm sure this has something to do Star Wars. I haven't figured it out yet, but Son#1 DOES have a rather wicked sense of humor.


**I meant by children. Please do not email me about our country & their stance on torture. If you do, I'll just be forced to send my non-sleeping 100 lb .child to your house for the week & see what he gets out of you.**

Now on a happy note, I leave you with a picture of Son#1's Star Wars Galaxy Heroes. He LOVES them & has a million. They are cheap, (2 in a pkg for $6) and make great gifts. If your kid likes Star Wars, new or old movies, they'll love them. I tried to pick some older SW characters you might recognize easily. Go ahead & see who can be the first to post the correct names of the hereos below & you'll win...well, let's be honest, nothing. Yes, it's that kind of blog.:)

Clue

Son #2 came home Friday early from school. He was having meltdowns he couldn't get under control. The weekend held more.This is the ugly side of Autism. Living with someone who can not talk is frustrating. 90% of the time, he can make his point, get his wants & needs expressed by taking your hand & leading you to the item, area or thing he wishes. The other 10% of the time, it's hell trying to figure out what he wants while he beats on his face, pinches his body all over making welts or runs his body into things in frustration. Sometimes there is pain. If you have a headache, you take an asprin. If your teeth hurt, you go to a dentist. For son#2, without words, there are hardly any signs to express at "2 years old" that your tummy hurts. The reason he is on medicine is because of the frustration that comes with non-verbal communication. He does not have that abilities to channel or control those frustrations & emotions. They overcome him & he acts out. Sometimes at us, mostly at himself. I understand completely. I may not know what he wants, but I get so frustrated from not knowing what's wrong, that I act out too. Autism is brutal some days. Those are the days you get looks. People stare. The grocery store is difficult, and church impossible. You become a detective following the clues. WHERE is he pinching? What area of his body? That is most likely what hurts. His belly? Gas? Constipation? How does he communicate that to us? He's walking on his very tip toes, that's the ultimate upset. He wails like a bale wolf, it pierces your eardrum & he hits his own jaws with his fists-HARD. His ears & cheeks are red like fire. Is that a clue it's his teeth? A cavity? A trip to the dentist will actually take place at a hospital most likely & he'll have to be put under to do any X-Rays, exams or anything else.

Those bad days are a guessing game. When you solve the puzzle--Son#2 did it, in the bathroom and constipation was the weapon used--it's a large victory.

A friend (thanks Tracey!) sent a video to me I want you to see & although, rap isn't really what many of you may like, watch & listen to the words please. This man's bio is as follows:
Sean Delaney is musician as well as a Direct Support Professional with the Special Needs Program in upstate New York. After spending several years working with adults with autism and other developmental disabilities, he felt compelled to speak to his generation. This song is a plea to his peers to open their eyes and encourage them to become more aware and involved with this rapidly growing population.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSdfCN5ewHY

I won, I won, I won!!

I never win ANYTHING-yet I just won a caption contest for our LYS (local yarn store) in downtown Tulsa. Here's the baby picture I was supposed to find a caption for & the handspun yarn I won! My winning caption was "Pardon me, do you have any Gray Poupon?"
http://www.loopsknitting.com/blog/2007/09/lilys-caption-contest.html

Shave & A Haircut...Two Bits

*** WARNING-Some of these parental decesions you may not agree with. However, until you live at my house, you don't get to choose what's uncalled for or complain about how YOU'D handle MY children. This is just to maybe enlighten you as to how a very ordinary thing & even fun for most kids, isn't for us.***

When you go get a haircut it's usually something you schedule, look forward to (especially if you're a woman) and maybe even enjoy. For me, I love it. Puts me to sleep to have someone playing with my hair. Hubbo's hair grows so fast he has his cut every two weeks. However, haircuts have come to mean entirely different things to our family since we've had kids. Normal things aren't always normal in our household, even the most common things don't get to be normal or easy. It zaps your strength & leaves your mental energy comatose for an hour afterwards.

Children on the Autism Spectrum most often have all kinds of different sensory issues. One of the huge ones for our boys has always been the ears. Nothing loud, anything new or they cover them, and DON'T put anything by or in them! I know you're asking, "And this has WHAT to do with haircuts?" Well, when you're kids have sensory issues & won't just allow you to cut their hair, you have to get creative or go hippy.

There's two clear options: scissors & clippers. We first tried scissors. We'd put son#1 as a baby in a highchair in front of the tv & pop in a video. My mom would get out the scissors & we'd cut his hair & he'd hardly notice. As he got older, he noticed, BIG TIME. He grew stronger & bigger than high chairs & it took more to give him haircuts. Until you've wrapped your kid in a towel & held them down for a haircut & made them cry till they puke, you don't know parental guilt. It became clear as son #1 got older it was easier to just buzz his hair. And less dangerous since scissors stab. Then later, as he began to talk & communicate better with words, it was easier to make him understand that the haircut wasn't bad. Now, we're to the point of big boy haircuts with him done with scissors. And he only scrunches his neck a little when you get to over the ears. I believe his last conversation with my mom cutting his hair outside in a t-shirt & his underwear went like this.

Nana: "Put on this cape so you won't get hair on you. "

Son#1: "Oh, ok. It's a shirt shield?" (another Star Wars reference)

Mommy: "Yeah I guess it is." (laughing)

Son#1: "You won't use pokey scissors will you Nana?"

Nana: "No honey & Nana will try not to poke you with them."

Son#1: "Nana?"

Nana: "Yes baby?"

Son#1: "Can I get an underwear shield? There's hair falling all over me here."

That was a couple weeks ago & although it's taken 9 years, it's sheer progress! We're proud of him for not crying anymore. And son#1 even lets Hubbo do the no guard clean up with the clippers on his neck & over his ears. We've come a long way baby!!

Son#2 has issues with communication so that makes haircuts even MORE of a challenge. He doesn't know it won't hurt or isn't anything to be upset over. Today is school picture day for son #2. So last night I ran to the store & picked up a couple of shirts to go with his background we chose & some new shoes he needed. Then the REAL fun began. This summer son#2 moved out of the high chair & into sitting by himself (when he sits) at the dining room table. Nice accomplishment but it means trouble on the haircutting front. We dragged out the old highchair to keep him contained in & got out the clippers. We even bought the kid clippers that makes less noise. Son#2 is still in the phase of the buzzing hurting his ears & really just screaming about being contained for it all. He scrunches his shoulders and covers his ears & tucks his chin down to his chest.

I realize this is all seems cruel & unusual punishment, but how else do you give your child a haircut? Take them in public where STRANGERS can scare them? Let them scream down the salon or barber shop? The people cutting WILL stop & not go on, I promise you that. One time when son#2 was about 3-4 yrs old, he fell asleep on the floor on his tummy. I slowly stuck a towel under his head. I turned on the clippers & laid them by his head & jacked up the volume of the tv so it would drown out some of the clipper noise. After a minute or so of knowing he was used to that noise, I buzzed his hair while he slept. Whole haircut & he was none the wiser. Some people thought that was terrible of me. I guarentee if you came over last night, you'd opt for the sleeping version. He's not as deep a sleeper to do that anymore & his head has WAY more hair too. But it WAS one of my more creative moments as a mommy.

Last night we had a plan of just blending his hair with the clippers up the sides & leaving the top long. We got out the old high chair, got him in it, and began. Usually I'm the one that does the haircut & Hubbo holds his hands away from the action. This time, I held the hands. Funny enough, it took less time I think (average haircut for son#2 is about 30-40 min-those are VERY VERY long minutes, especially for son#2) and it looked WAY better! Son #2 even let Hubbo do the back & sideburns with no guard. He did cry & fuss & we had to hold his arms & push his head into our chest & hold it there to do either side, but it got done. I think he fights a little less each time. I swept up all the hair & cleaned up the highchair while Hubbo took Son#2 off to the shower.

I put gel in his hair this morning & combed it. Usually there's no need for combing it, it's so coarse that it does it's own thing. He looked adorable & sweet. Oh and he really looked his age-7 years old. My baby is growing up. Nothing like those big boy haircuts to make them look more like their daddy. Now watch, he'll be looking the other way in his picture today!

Point & Jabber

We are happy to announce that son#3 has reached a small but important, developmental milestone this past week. He is pointing at things & jabbering to us about them. Usually it's some form of "that", and it comes out sounding like "dat". This may be taken in stride by other parents, but we're on our third child & have never been through this phase once yet. We could not be happier since the speech therapist that was here Memorial Day weekend said that was a precursor to talking for most babies.

Also, everyone is "dada". Well, except Nana. He's got that her name down too. As much as I try, Hubbo tries, he still looks at me & says "dada". With a smile on his face, first thing in the morning, happy to see me..."dada". Sigh! He's gotten close a couple of times to the Mmmmm sound, but still no luck. At first I thought he was taunting me, now I'm not sure it's in the cards for me to be called mom. You'd think me being the parent that's here with them 90% of the time, they'd choose to say MY name. But NOOOOOOO! That's too easy I guess! Son #2 who doesn't use many things that sound like words- even one of his VERY few, is "dee-a-dee". Oh and the real kicker, son #1, the one who speaks at will with any word he cares to...calls me Julie. Yeaaaaah. Try going to the book fair or somewhere new & in public & having your kid call you by your first name. Everyone thinks you're the babysitter! When I came to son#1's school last year, he was SOOOO excited, he about cried. Literally. Smile on his face, walking down the hallway introducing me to the librarian, music teacher, etc. Then another teacher comes out of her classroom & asks, "Oh, is this your mother?" Son#1: "Nope, this is Julie." Sigh! Maybe one day.

In the meantime, we feel elated every time son#3 points & looks back at us jabbering, knowing that he's leaving that Autism gene behind him in his dust!

Fort Knox

If you've come to our home you've seen all our locks on almost every door. They're the ones you used to see on your grandma's screen door. Just a hook & eye type latch. We have them at the tops of every door but the kids room. All the closets, hall & bedroom. The bathroom & even a giant one my dad put on the door that goes from the kitchen into the garage. We started this a couple years ago for son#2. When he came out of his little cocoon & discovered there was a world for his taking. And take he did. Crisco out of cabinets to feel & smear all over his face. Vaseline out of the bathroom; which stays for a long time in your hair. Lotion is pretty squeezed out all over the carpet up & down the hallway. And then there's the front & back doors with the key dead bolts. VERY handy indeed! This weekend it was shower gel ALLLLLLL over the bathroom floor. With my gimpy knee, I let daddy look like Keystone Cops in there cleaning it up.



Our probably most inventive lock to date has to be the dog collar you'll see on the fridge. It keeps the fridge locked, and so far keeps son#2 from defeating it & stuffing his already chubby little face with hand dipped butter. I personally thought this one was quite ingenious on our part. This past summer, since son#2 has grown to 4ft 4 inches tall & turned 7 years old, we've had to move some of the locks up higher out of his reach. Not pretty, but it gets the job done. We also had to install some little alarms recently because he's tall enough to open all the higher cabinets in the kitchen--or our closet which he seems to be able to pop the lock on & string out my yarn. Now when he pulls them open a nice shrill, piercing alarm goes off & scares him away & us to the scene of the crime.



But now, he has a partner. An accomplice if you will, a new master mind to try & help him evade our Fort Knox we have going here. Son #3 has taken to this life of "crime" with ease. He's fast, sneaky, and QUIET. He is able to tread where the 92lbs of son#2 can not tread quietly. #3's interests include, standing on the dining room table, on top of the toy shopping cart, toy box or anything else he can get a leg up on. He has total domination over sneak attacks. He will wait till you get up to get something & army crawl in & swipe the remote before you even know what happened. He'll take the loots and run somewhere around a corner, flatten himself on the floor & turn his head so you can't possibly see him. Yeah right! Sneaky little bugger! (Be very quiet, I'm hunting wabbit tracks.) Sometimes, if you're lucky, you saw which way he went & you can track the remote down in less than 10 minutes. Other times, it's hopeless & you might as well find something else to do until something good comes back on that channel. Or paper rock scissors for which of you will stand there pushing channel up.



Son #3 is small enough to squeeze himself into spaces you can't follow & usually manages to take SOMETHING of importance with him you want. Or another brother wants. Like a cup or food. He's tall for his age & his no problem reaching up to the table or opening the microwave to see what potential lies there for the taking. #3's super power is his cute cheeks and that beautiful little smile. Very disarming. You forget the craftiness with which he thinks & can move because you're focused on his cute, curly hair & big brown eyes! Together there's no need for words between them (good thing since neither one can talk yet) they just know which area is at a weakened state & has potential to be ripe for the picking.



Two peas in a pod. Inseperable, except at naptime.

I give you The Swaim Duo:


I'm sure there's plotting going on here.

Are You Washed?

Guests. Coming. Coming here. Tomorrow morning. My husband leaves tomorrow for his annual "guy trip. His friends are coming by to get him and that means I spend most of today cleaning. Just how I was raised. When company is coming, clean. They won't be here long, and the bathroom will be the room they see the most I imagine. However, after getting up at 4am (there's my excuse for these ramblings & deep thoughts) today and waiting on the second school bus to come, I thought I'd start the cleaning process while I still had energy.

I started dusting shelves. This is pretty monumental because I pride myself on high shelves simply so I don't have to dust often. But, one of the friends coming IS rather tall. Hence the need for dusting. After I'm done with the kitchen, I realize there are some splatters on the long wall in the kitchen. I better wipe/scrub those off. Nothing says "I never clean." like tomato sauce on the wall. As I spray the area down with cleaner & start scrubbing, I see more splatters & dirty areas further out. I keep wiping the wall. My arm hurts, my hand is cramping and I'm getting a little light headed. (this sinus stuff doesn't like it when you bend over) Surely there aren't more dirty areas...right? Man! Where did this stuff come from?! It doesn't help this wall is textured. I guess we did move in here 4 or 5 years ago. Hmmm, I don't remember cleaning it much since then. Except for the occasional, OBVIOUS splatter. Two kids in high chairs on this wall in that time. I gueeeesss I could see where it might accumulate some dirty areas in that amount of time. I'm shocked. Really. I've had people in here. Albeit very few, but still. Why hasn't anyone TOLD me how dirty this wall is!? You're right, I would have cried. Don't tell me. I keep scrubbing & scrubbing and there are just more & more areas that need to be cleaned off. Up, down, the light sockets, and plug-ins. By the time I'm done cleaning the dirty areas & splatters, the WHOLE, LONG wall received a cleaning. Wow.

While I kept scrubbing and wondering if my arm would fall off before my hand cramped up & stuck in that position, I was thinking. Life. Isn't it sort of like this giant, white, textured wall?
You go along happy & fine, living your life and then one day, there's some areas that need attention. No clue how they piled up like this. And who knows how long it took to happen. You don't really have time to look back at them ALL, just time enough to take care of a few things today. But then, once you start looking at those areas that need attention, you realize, ALL the areas sort of need a sorting out. They all tie into together to be one giant thing called LIFE.

So what if son#2 gets me up at 4am today? And that it seems to be an every other day occurrence anymore. Then there's son #1 who functions well in theory but really may need some medicine to help de-Monk-defy him so he can function with focus. The baby needs a physical therapist for his legs. We all need to see the dentist. Then there's hubbo who's making me a single parent this weekend by leaving town.

Acts 3:19 says: "Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord;" (New American Standard)

Frankie Says RELAX!!

After a very stressful start to school this past couple of weeks, I was more than missing my knitting because it provides an outlet for all that energy that's not allowed (legally) to be let out on things or people (i.e., school nurses).

Although the weather is cooling off today (we're down to the 90's) I doubt we'll be needing scarves, mittens & hats anytime soon. BUT, a knitted item can bring with it's love, warmth & stress relief. I got a wonderful box today in the mail from my summer exchange knitting buddy. A coaster, a knitting magazine (my favorite one!), stitche markers, chocolate and a set of matching tam & mittens! Oh and the most beautiful turquoise blue cowl!! Having started today with a migraine, I was needing this care package. It couldn't have been better timing! ThankCheryl in Maine!!! You're super talented & the thought of including some yarn for ME to play with & the extra yarn from what you knit me, well that kind of thoughtfullness is very rare. You're a sweetie & I promise to give them good homes.

Now I have relaxed by finishing up a scarf for my #1 son who loves school buses. He knows every kind of bus & it's uncanny how he can tell you from FAR away which kind it is. There are "I" buses, Carpenter buses, Thomas buses (a couple others I can't remember) and Bluebird buses which are his favorites. And he could not be happier after spending a year on a Thomas bus, to be back on a big ol' Bluebird bus this year.


Although, this isn't knit for warmth, it's defintely fun & I think he'll love it. I should felt a piece of black & cut out the Bluebird logo, but I'm lazy & need to get to more unfinished knitting, so this will have to do for now.

My friend Terry wrote the pattern for me, so watch her site for the pattern to appear in her free pattern section at the bottom.;)

End Run

(American football) an attempt to advance the ball by running around the end of the line

As football season fast approaches I'd like to teach you a term. It's called doing an end run. Say that with me, "END RUN". Good. Now, let me tell you how a mom can apply this term and it's logistics to every day life & situations.

Here we are on the third day of school. The day before school started, when I went to meet the teacher I took son#2's meds with me to show them how I administer it, what it looks like & fill out forms that I knew existed to have the school give him some of his meds this year.

This medicine is like those foam packing peanuts that dissolve in water. That means it's not that easy to cut & the dose of meds we are on right now, means we have to halve them. Also, the stupid companies that make this med only let you have the melt-tab in .5mg & 1mg doses. Therefore, for son#2's new dose of .75mg three times a day, we're slicing & dicing this bad boy.

Wednesday at school I tell the teacher we're finally at a point where son#2 will need to be given meds at school in the afternoons. She takes me in person to the nurses office for the forms to fill out. I show the nurse the pills (I've already halved & stuck back in one of the two blister packs) and how I place them in son#2's mouth/tongue. She gives me the forms, I explain about how you need a very sharp knife to halve them & I'll most likely just send them already cut.

Go home, spend the night gathering $75 in school supplies, packing their stuff up, filing out papers and making sure it's all together for the first day of school. I get an old film canister to put the meds in for son#2 & use a Sharpie to write his name on the bottle. This will be better than sending them in a ziplock since they can get crushed & then would be useless. Oh I better mention that the first day of school hubbo stayed home to take our car into to have the a/c fixed (which turned out to be done to the tune of $480) so this was already a nice hectic, fun day at our household.

I believe the first call of the 15 from the school was around 10am. Turns out according to the nurse, that you can't send already cut meds. They HAVE to cut them there in the nurses office. Oh and you HAVE to have the Rx label to be able to even GIVE the children their meds. My reaction wasn't panic, yet. I jumped into Mommy-mode, grabbed my cape and started calling the pharmacy, doctor office and back to the school nurse.

me: "I have no car today, it's in the shop. Can the pharmacy fax you the label from his medicine? They give it to me in ziplocks."

nurse: "No. It HAS to be the actual, real Rx label."

me: "Oook. And I have to send brand new pills for YOU to cut them, right?"

nurse:"Yes. And make sure the .5mg & 1mg are in the correct ziplocks respectively or I can't give them to him."

me: "Okay, I'll get back to you."

During all this time I'm receiving all these calls from the higher ups whoever they are, above the school nurse. They are sorry, they can't help it. It's all policy. They've been to court with pharmacies & this is just how it is. Wished they could help me. I run across the street to catch a neighbor off to do errands and thrust the now empty ziplocks at him. He takes them the 10 blocks to the school & drops them off.

Another call from the school...

nurse: "Once I cut these pills, I'll have to throw away the other halves because I'm not allowed to repackage them-that would make us a pharmacy. They are considered waste."

me: "Uh no.... I don't think so. Those cost a lot of money & we are only allowed so many a month. I'll walk there every day & give them to him myself if you are going to HAVE to throw them away."

nurse: "Let me see what I can come up with. I'll call ya back."

They ended up deciding they could bend the rules a little & allow the "waste" to be sent home in an envelope to us to use here. Isn't that nice of them? At 1:20pm they call me AGAIN.

nurse: "Ms Swaim? We aren't allowed to touch Carson's mouth to give him this pill."

me: "Excuse me? Didn't you WATCH me give them to him yesterday IN your office?"

nurse:"Well, yes. But..."

me: "Can you lay it on the counter for him to pick up & take then?"

nurse: "Well, not really, that's contamination. Let me call someone & ask."

me: "My husband just came home, I'm on my way there now."

I brought a spoon with me too. It was a long shot but it might work. When I got there I also asked them to lay the pill on a paper towel on the countertop. She called the higher ups again. The paper towel would be okay. But, by this time, it was WAY past son#2's time to take his meds & we were treading into the gray area of the point of no return in meltdowns.

I met his teacher in the hallway because I could HEAR him coming. The nurse runs out to meet me & says I can not give him meds in the hallway or anywhere else, ONLY IN HER OFFICE. Did I mention it's smaller than my bathroom? So off we go, I give him the meds, walk him back to the gross motor room with all the swings, fun stuff and such, to wait him out & see if the meds can kick the meltdown. It did, 30 minutes later. Did I mention that was the first day of school?

Of course the main issue was going to be that eventually there won't be any NEW blister packs for them to open. They'll just be halves, and they can't GIVE halves, so we'd have to go there every one of those days to give him his pill ourselves. I had called the doctors office when I got back home from school. They suggested bumping it up to just a 1mg at school. I was really worried he'd get too tired/sleepy with it. Luckily the pharmacist at Wal-Greens came up with an end run. Thought I'd forgotten my point didn't ya??

God bless this man! (and I do plan to make him some brownies) He called me later Friday afternoon with the idea of making up a fake bottle with a fake label on it. It'll say that son#2 can have a .5mg (one whole pill they won't have to cut) in the afternoon. Then when he gets home a couple hours later, I can give him the rest of that .75mg dose (.25mg at home) GENIUS! It might just work. Fool them with a run around the end of their line!!! I love it! I'm ready to do anything at this point. And the fact that HE thought of it & was just as frustrated as me....I really wanted to kiss that man-white bushy moustache & all.

I picked up the bottle yesterday & sent it to school today with a school weeks worth of meds in it for son#2. Of course first thing this morning, the nurse calls. I have NEW paperwork to fill out. I have her fax it to hubbo so he can jump in this redtape fiasco with me. We don't want him feeling left out do we? And of course the nurse lets me know up front, "I can't give him his meds until I have this NEW form with the NEW dose on it." Sigh! I help hubbo fill it out, we fax it back but he gets a note saying "transmission not recieved". LOVELY! I call her, nope she didn't get it. I ask for her fax number again. Write it out for hubbo....it doesn't match the one on the form she had sent to us. She'd written where to fax it back to her at, with the wrong fax number. I ask you, WHO is special needs here????

I plan to use as many end runs as I need with this school until my son (both of them) get what they need. And maybe, just maybe, this nurse will get some "special brownies" from me at Christmas. There's no doubt in my mind Paula Deen would approve. Cause ya know...Ex-Lax can look just like shaved chocolate on top.;)

Crushing Milestones

Son #1 has met & surpassed his goals I had for him this summer! He is not wearing pull-ups to bed anymore. And he is now (I can happily say!) sleeping in his OWN BED! (pause for cheers & applause) Surprisingly it didn't take much. Just the usual kid bribes with favorite toys. And while I knew he could probably do those things, it was the consistency of sticking with them I hoped he'd conquer-and he did! So now, hubbo has come back to reclaim his side of the bed. Anywho, that is crossed off the list. Now if I can just get son #1 not to get up at the crack of dawn when he hears daddy shaving or getting the shower.

The other milestone for son#1 is church. When he was little, his still very literal mind called it "sing-a-song house". Every building was a house. Wal-Mart was even "Wal-Mart house". So VBS is at our church this week & I thought it was great way to introduce him to the concept of going regularly. There were many reasons we've never placed membership & a lot of them lie with the children's issues & our inconsistency of going. It's rather hard to commit to being a member somewhere when you're not there 95% of the time.

Since son #1 is letting us read him Bible stories & really getting into them, I thought this would be an excellent way to introduce him to class. And the baby is at a wonderful stage for getting into the habit of going also. So off we head to Vaction Bible School Sunday night. The baby was perfect & charmed the nursery. Son#1 was hesitant but did well. Even let me leave him in class. He loved the puppets & was really intrigued by all the clappy songs. He's still not sure about all the yelling & excitement-little much for him. But at the end they pop a HUGE balloon & he melted down before they ever got to that. So we left early last night before that part came along. It was helpful God provided people I knew in their classes & whom I felt comfortable with leaving them. I didn't have a chance to explain some of son#1's issues & things so that was concerning a first. I wasn't too thrilled with their theme of Saul/Paul. Seemed geared more towards bigger kids (which I guess son#1 is but it's all new to him) and there didn't seem to be a huge pull towards more than Dramatime. I was hoping for more the style of when I was little. Little easy songs, a memory verse, make a take home thing with something to do with the lesson. The lessons being easy like sharing, love God, we are Jesus little lambs etc. But we're on the third night tonight & all in all I think he did well & hopefully he'll be on his way to Sunday school soon.

Son#2 has had more good days than bad & enjoyed summer school & riding the bus with his brother. And the trampoline (one of his birthday gifts) was supposed to help him exercise some of his weight gain (from meds) off. However, he's still tentative & shy about being in there on it. I was shocked at that the most. But we're not pushing. Once he figures out he's safe, he'll be out there ALL the time. The boys love having the sprinkler pointed toward the trampoline & it cools off the black tarp. He is outside more & developing a tan. When son#2 wants to go outside he brings me the sunblock as a cue.


We've wondered if he needs his meds tweaked or the dosage & after calling to get an appointment, we found out the soonest is October! SO-we went with an appointment with the peds doctor. We see her tomorrow & hopefully son#2 will be able to get something figured out before school starts next Thursday. Son#2 had a horrible day Saturday. He melted down completely, not just his usual afternoon huff & puff. He was biting himself like he's not done in a LONG time. Son#2 looks like he fought a bull with his arms & I cant' tell you who won. He pinched little tiny pinches all over his face & eyes Saturday. We tried everything to calm him down or make him stop. Directing his hands away made the OCD in him want to do it more. There's not much worse as a parent than sitting & watching your child hurt themselves, mark themselves up, on purpose with nothing you can do to stop it or control it. Son#2 scratched my chest & neck up & down the whole day. He's mostly frustrated when he does that. How do you tell your parents you have a headache, (a migraine) when you can't talk? What flashcard is there for that? Constipated? How do you communicate that you ate too many peanuts? Good thing hubbo & I like mysteries, we have investigating all the time with son#2 & his non-verbal issues.

On a happier note, he has been better & smiley even this week so far. And last night I took ALL THREE KIDS WITH ME TO VBS! Brave aren't I?? Son#2 did well & seemed to enjoy getting out & about. After the songs & puppets I took him to do errands with me. It's amazing how much energy it takes to just jet to the store & run in for bread & mac/cheese with him in tow. At 4ft 2 & 86 lbs, he doesn't really fit in a cart anymore. I can't lift him anyway. So his hand in mine, I pull him through the store & pay at the self checkout. He enjoyed the echo in the library & touching all the fake flowers & yarn at Hobby Lobby. Then I ran him home & went back for the other two. He's met some milestones this summer too. Brushing his teeth, much better in public & going outside without eating the trees or birdfood. Hopefully tomorrow at his doctor appointment, we can find something else to try for son#2. And then they go to the dentist....
Onward & upward!

I'm sure you've seen the amounts of rain we've been getting around here on the news. Something like 26 days of rain out of 30! No lie. You will not here hubbo & I complain because we happen to love rain. And from living here in Oklahoma for 10 years, we've also figured out that high 80's and rain is MUCH MUCH better than 100 degree temps with 90% humidity. We'll take the rain any day. However, the ground has been so soggy our neighbors who have a lawn service, haven't got to mow our yard in 3 weeks! The grass was knee high with all the rain and the chiggers were out of this world. The timing couldn't have been worse because the kids were in between summer school sessions during the solid week of rain. They had to stay in & were practically bored to tears.

The morning of the 4th, we awoke to the neighbors mowing. We'd had one full day of sun & no rain. Horray! Another reason to give thanks. The wheels of their industrial mower still made some marks in the backyard but I really don't care. At least we can see the ground (I have to be able to watch for snakes you know) and the sun can dry it out more quickly. The front looks great and after a 5 minute game of "toss the worm back into the grass", hubbo & I retreated back inside to enjoy the clipped view. We had a very nice 4th of July with my mother visiting. She and I made a trip out to a couple of stores and returned to hubbo having the coals on the grill just right & ready to go. While he grilled the patties, we shucked corn, got brownies in the oven & filled the deviled eggs. Fun was had by all at that feast. We even had some ice cream with those brownies. My middle son that loves food was totally enjoying himself. We joke his middle name shouldn't have been Isaac, it should have been Emril as much time as he spends in the kitchen with me. And without. He loves to explore the cabinets for Crisco, powdered coffee creamer, hidden doughnuts etc.

So to get out & away from the restless natives I went to buy some flowers to plant. I haven't really got to plant anything in quite a few years so this was finally going to be the time. Just do it! Since our flower bed is flat & empty with mulch, anything is an improvement. The height isn't as varied as I'd like throughout, but it's better than nothing. And this fall we can plant some roses & bushes. The only I had for awhile was some strawberries we have coming in. Small & they need sugar but what could be bad about strawberries? Then I got some ferns, some hibiscus & some trailing ivys.

I also was able to find an "Allen plant". Most people call them begonias but since I was a little girl my mother had these all around inside & out. I had a thing when I was small for naming things after my favorite people. My first dog's name was Pickles Ruth. I loved pickles & Ruth was my favorite aunt. She always sent me "sexy" nighties for my birthday. They would be long, satiny with robes to match. For a little girl, nothing was more feminine.

So for my first plant I was allowed to keep in my room, it made perfect sense that I name it after my favorite person-my dad. Now they mean even more when I see them. Allen plants aren't as special to everyone else as they are to me.

Well, I'm done planting for awhile & I think the ground is drying up. I may have to send a dove, er...a kid out to see if he brings back a branch.

Knitting Harry Potter

Here is my first attempt in my knitting to join colors and tassles. The tassels had me worried but they turned out pretty well I think. This scarf is a request from hubbo. And in true man-style, he asked for the OTHER Harry Potter scarf (from later movies) about 10 seconds after I showed him this one.

Drafted

I was tagged by Shell to report these things in my blog.

1. Name and link to the person who tagged you.

2. Name the state and country where you reside.

3. Name your five favorite local restaurants.

4. Tag others.

1.Shell- http://thefarsideoftheocean.blogspot.com/

2. I live in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma in the United States of America. Broken Arrow is butted up against the city of Tulsa & basically a run off of Tulsa people trying to live more in the country than the city.

3. #1-El Loritos-Mexican as I'm sure you guessed & you get sooooo much food for the price it's insane. Not to mention their salsa is TO DIE FOR. And there's always the bonus of Mexican Fabio that my friend & I like to sit & stare at.

#2-Tasty Treat- This place is a drive-in on Main street and I don't even KNOW how old it is. It's a drive-in and has seating inside for maybe 10 people. They are run by a family & open for breakfast and close by 4pm. Their burgers, fried mushrooms & onion rings are pretty hard to beat. And the list for different flavor of shakes (sigh!)....let's just say the peanutbutter one is my personal fav. Grits to fried okra, you'll enjoy anything here at this little taste of southern love.

#3-Top Hat-This place is small & located near where we used to live north of Tulsa. Maybe an hour from where we are now. Smoking is still allowed and the range of food is beyond wild. The taco salad was a huge hit with us, greasy bun hamburgers grilled to perfection, shoestring onion rings and some divine chicken strips that'll make you slap your mama! It's off old Route 66 and and landmark too. Best food over in that area for miles.

I'll be honest, we don't get out much to experience the local flavor of eateries, so the rest are resturant chains. Sorry-quit reading if you're a food snob.;)

#4-Denny's-Yeah yeah yeah, I know. You've all eaten there when you were little kids or in college after some late night study session. Yes it's kid friendly& that appeals to us now. But well, I love it because where else can you get pot roast, fried shrimp or the All-American Slam at the same place?? And we won't go into the ambiance of the smoke smelling, trucker filled resturant & the memories it brings up.


#5-Red Lobster-The Ceaser salad & cheese biscuts are a meal in & of itself to me. I could live happily eating those the rest of my life. Of course, I may be seen next on some show explaining how I'm too heavy to leave my own house. I do also enjoy their scallops, crab stuffed mushrooms and anything with shrimp-mostly scampi. Smell that?? Yeah I bet you can smell those garlic cheese biscuts from there!

And I tag Terry & Penny!

Vacation?

I just recently returned from my wonderful trip I take each year with my girlfriends. It's important for me to go because it's one of the only times a year I get away with NO children. That is one of our steadfast rules...NO CHILDREN ALLOWED! And many have tried to worm their way in believe me. Even #1 son thinks he needed to accompany me this year as if he'd be missing something. This trip rejuvenates me. Makes me feel like I really AM a grown-up. Not just some extremely tall (stop snickering Mother!) person in the land of wee folk. I remember what life was like before children. The trip also gives me GIRL time. In a house with all boys, this is essential to remembering there was a time you did wear make-up. We indulge it all! Nails, pedicures, doing each other's hair, I'm sure at some point we'll even try waxing with the hotel microwave. (Look out Regina!) It makes me happy to leave life behind but by the time the trip is winding down, I can't wait to get home.

I've come to realize at the end of these trips, there seems to be a period afterwards of recouping. It's almost like having a baby where they tell you not to expect to loose all the weight you gained immediately. Expect it take as long to take off as you did putting it on those 9 months.
It takes me about as long to recover from my trip for however long I was gone. This year, 3 days. I was worthless. Too pooped to pop. Not even a shower. The adrenaline wore off I guess. It didn't USE to be this way. Back when we were (whispered) younger. This being our 5th year of the annual girl trip. Of course the older we get the sooner the failing starts. Our bodies start rebelling to the new "vacation" time schedule. Eyes begin to stay puffy & bloodshot well after say, 10am. Bedtimes sneak back to before 2am. There's less happy chatter amongst us. We are much less tolerant of jokes or pushy people while shopping. So by the time we are headed home, we're much worse for wear.

I think I've figured it out though. The prep for vacations takes major time & planning. It takes lists & remembering just as you lay down in bed, you HAVE to get that one thing laid out or you won't remember it. Get back up. While you're up, you could go ahead & lay out all the kids clothes for while you're gone so they don't look like homeless vagrants running loose. Back to bed. Wake up early because you KNOW you heard the trash truck coming & you better get the trash out before you leave or else the garage will REALLY stink when you get back.
All these things slowly zap you're strength beforehand, I just know it. Two nights before I left for my trip I was in bed much later than normal. Then if you counter in the late night talk/giggle fests while I gone, bedtime hasn't been right for almost a week. My body is telling me it's too old for that crap. So you go INTO the vacation already down to one engine.

The other thing I think is that when you travel, whether it be for business, pleasure, with kids (whole other ballgame folks), without or however long-you're OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE. Now, I'm in no way implying we all have "issues" with this. But for example, 3 out of the 4 of us on our trip, brought our own pillows. ( a sure sign we're getting old I'd say). We have a whole drawer in the hotel full of what would we could start our own pharmacy with. Bring it all...just in case! You're not used to walking that much, wearing those shoes, sitting that much, driving that much, too hot, too cold, eating THAT food, that MUCH food, or straying from your normal routine. I do believe there are people better at handling the adaption of traveling. But for most of us, wouldn't you say after awhile, no matter how much fun you had, you're totally ready to return to your comfort zone? Ready to get back to your sheets, the sounds your house makes, the temperature in the room just how you like it?

THIS is why most of us need a vacation AFTER our vacation!

I'm It

Okay I've been tagged by Penny to write 8 random facts about myself. Or rather, some things that might not be known.

1. I'm an only child. And I hate it when people refer to only children as behaving a certian way. I like to think I'm the exception to those rules.

2. I play piano. Not well anymore, but I CAN play, and with both hands even.

3. I LIKE having three boys & no girls. I never had & never will, have the desire to have a girl. Odd I know. And don't even bother, you won't change my mind if my mother hasn't in 10 years.

4. I HATED watching movies (just in general for something to do, I did have favorites though) until the past couple of years. My husband & his family were in denial over this & I still don't think they believe me. I'm just not a sit & do nothing for hrs & hrs type person. I didn't see E.T. until college.

5. I love Agatha Christie books. Any & all. I collect them & relish reading them over & over. It's like comfort food to me. They never get old & I usually can't remember who "done it".

6. I also collect John F. Kennedy things. Books, pictures, etc. The most prized possession in my little collection is the TV Guide from the week he was assasinated, given to me by my mother.

7. I tried out for the Christian singing group Acapella. Actually for their producer. Made a demo tape. Nothing came of it & I see now that was most likely a blessing in disguise. Funny enough, years down the road, my brother-in-law (already in the family when I married in) had sang with them. Small world.

8. I swim very well. I can hold my breath for a long time underwater. I almost got my life guard certification as a teenager, but I couldn't do the breast stroke very well. I was convinced it was because (at the time) I didn't really have a bust line. My mom used to yank me off the bottom of the pool because I could go down & just sit forever. I haven't gotten to go swimming in a LONG time.

And I tag TERRY & LISA! Get on it girls!;)

In the Begining There Was God...and Grand Moff Tarkin

We haven't pushed the issues of God & heaven, Jesus or the Bible with our children. Son #1 being the only one that can talk of the three really means the issues lie with him. This past year son #1 has dealt with death in several ways & seems to really understand the concept. I guess we should be thankful in a way to his Star Wars games seeing as how that is where most of his physical comprehension comes from on the subject of death & dying. But I also like to think that kids like my sons, have God in their ear to help talk them through some things in life that we can't always find the right words to explain. This said, there HAVE been conversations about God & Jesus and many Veggie Tale videos to reinforce the concepts God wants us to live by.

The last time I tried reading the Beginners Bible to son#1 he was excited at first. New stories & characters for him to understand & memorize. We got as far as creation, then Adam & Eve before my soft-hearted son decided that he was very angry about Adad & Eve being thrown out of the Garden of Eden. How sad that they had to go & never come back. Of course the angel with the flaming sword had him quite excited that there might be a duel. He was probably a little more mad about there not being a duel than Adam & Eve being banished come to think of it.
Anyway, he was done. He wasn't reading the next story because he was upset at it not continuing with Adam & Eve. So I didn't push. I'd ask every so often if he wanted another Bible story, but he would always say no.

Last night at bedtime, son #1 asked where his Bible story book was. I rushed to get it, trying not to look too eager that we might get past the Garden of Eden. I mention Noah & what a cool story that is with all the animals on this big boat & how it rains for 40 days. He scoffs at me. We need to start at the begining he tells me. I pick it up & open back up to the first story of creation again. But it seems this time, son #1 wants to have some control & narrate the reading of creation. So I begin. (Keep in mind this is the Children's Beginners Bible so it's putting the story VERY simply.)

me: "In the begining, the earth was empty. Darkness covered everything. But God was there, and He had a plan."

son#1: "A plan to build a death star."

me: (sigh)
He let me read on through the days & what was made on them until day 7. This is all said with a straight face mind you & he was quite serious about it.

me: "When He was finished, God saw that everything He had made was very good. And on the seventh day He rested."

son#1: "And on the eighth day, God made videos & DVD's for children from shows like on PBS, Nick Jr, Disney & Nickelodeon-like Rugrats."

me: Sure, okay. (I'm sure God has a copyright on all that somewhere, right?)

Then we proceed on to the story of Adam & Eve. Now he lets me go through the part about Adam names the animals but he's lonely. All he points out in this so far is that Adam needs some clothes.

me: But still, Adam was lonely. God said, "It's not good for Adam to be alone." So God made... a woman."

son#1 interupts me: "Wait! (in a narrator voice now) And she is very pretty holding red flowers. (she is in the picture in his Bible)

me: "Adam named the woman Eve. Eve was just right to be Adam's special helper."

son#1: "Just like you're Daddy's special helper, right Mommy?"

me: (sigh) "Sure, you could look at it that way." (although I was thinking more the other way around)

We go on to read about the eating of the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good & evil, when son#1 sees a picture & pronounces it, "the fruit from the tree of college of good & evil."
This may be more fitting actually, he may have something there.

Then the part of the snake talking to Eve. He doesn't seem to think it's odd the snake can talk.

me: "One day a snake came to Eve. It said, "See how pretty the fruit is on the tree of knowledge of good & evil? It tastes good. It will make you wise. Don't listen to God. Go ahead and try it."

son#1: "Wait! (don't turn the page) In his best deep voice he says to me: "Eat that fruit from the tree of college of good & evil. I am really Lord Vader in this snake and I am bad."

Son#1 actually let me get through the rest of the story where A & E get kicked out & the angel with the flaming sword comes to guard the garden. Then as I try to be sneaky to just go ahead & start the story of Noah, he says "No! God doesn't like Noah!"
I say "Yes he does. See it says right here, "God knew Noah was the only good man left."
"Nope. He is really Grand Moff Tarkin in disguise and it's not an ark he's building, it's a DEATH STAR!"

(sigh) I bet that's news to God. It seems like he has the players on the right sides of good & evil...now if I can just figure out how to tell him this all really happened.

Flower Power

Have you ever noticed anyone with a flower name seems to be different than other people?
Our family likes to watch Hyacinth on the PBS show "Keeping Up Appearances". Besides her flower name, her sisters are Daisy (married to Onslow who never wears a shirt), Rose (the "loose" one) and Violet (who has a sauna, Mercedes & room for a pony). While these ARE special people, I was thinking about some other women I know & met with flower names.

When we first moved to Oklahoma, more specifically Broken Arrow. Ms. Rose was one of the very first people I met at church & at my job at the church pre-school. She had poofy blonde Betty White hair and was no more than 5 feet 1 inch tall. She was ALWAYS smiling and you didn't even have to wonder if she was a grandmother, she just has that air about her. Her makeup was flawless and her appearance was never anything casual. Her shoes always matched & were usually some fun color. Her beauty started within, but just radiated to you. Being around her made you smile. Even today she is ageless. She just looks like a pretty grandma. And a fun one too.

Although I was excited to teach again & have a job outside of the home, I was not thrilled with leaving my 4 month old baby boy. But once I found out Ms. Rose had taken care of almost everyone's baby's at church, sometimes generations, I felt okay about son#1 being across the hall away from me. I've never met anyone quite like Ms. Rose. I've never seen anyone calm a baby like she can. She's never afraid if they cry or won't eat. She hums & rocks them, just smiles and loves them. Never looses her patience and just exudes confidence to where you never need to ask why she would do something. One in a million, that's our Ms. Rose.

Today I met another woman with flower power to her name. Ms. Daisy. Seeing her my mind immedietly went to my memories of Ms. Rose. Ms. Daisy was on my oldest son's bus. (maybe HE has some magnatism to call these women to him!) Ms. Donna his bus driver said Ms. Daisy is a helper on another bus but they didn't have a route today, so she was tagging along with the Bush Shuttle. (all the buses have names of Presidents) This woman's beauty was so evident the first time I glanced at her. I admit I TRY to remember to fully dressed (you women know that means a bra) before taking the kids to the bus. Today was a day I didn't really want to get fully dressed. I knew Ms. Donna & Ms. Jeanne wouldn't care, but I caved & had on jeans and a t-shirt when I took son#1 to the bus. Thank goodness I did! There sat Ms. Daisy, although wearing similar clothes to mine, hers looked MUCH better and her hair was all pulled back in a stylish bun/ponytail. Rings on most fingers, nice manicured nails, better than mine and her makeup was impecible. I was just SO impressed by her smile & charm. What a cutie she was!

Ms. Donna noted the fact I had some of my voice back today and I was looking better. I scoffed at this & had the decency to blush since I was in the presence of Ms. Daisy and of course did not look as good as she did. I mentioned I couldn't possibly look as good as Ms. Daisy & hoped at her age, whatever that might be, I would look as beautiful. She took my compliment and threw out with no reserve her age was 72 years old! SEVENTY-TWO YEARS OLD!? There was no way this woman was over 62. I couldn't believe it and told her so. I didn't care if I looked like I was sucking up, she looked fabulous for her age & a lot of other people's too. I told her I thought it might have something to do with her hands looking so young. She seemed to take some pleasure in my remarks but not really suprised by them. I brought my camera on the bus when they returned at the end of the day with the sole purpose of taking this woman's picture. She is going to be my motivation as my years go on to keep up those beauty routines.

Whether it's the Betty White poofy hairdo, the smile or the trail of thick perfume, Ms. Rose & Ms. Daisy are two women of the same character. They share that aura that makes you want to trust them & believe in their charm. Their smiles truly light up a room and make you feel loved, accepted & confident in their abilities. These women with flower power names aren't easily forgotten and are probably such a joy to their family, they don't mind sharing them with the rest of us. I don't know that every person with a flower name is as special as these two, but I think if I had a daughter (don't worry mom, I'm NOT pregnant) I may have to name her after a flower & pray for that presence to be given to her.