Fort Knox

If you've come to our home you've seen all our locks on almost every door. They're the ones you used to see on your grandma's screen door. Just a hook & eye type latch. We have them at the tops of every door but the kids room. All the closets, hall & bedroom. The bathroom & even a giant one my dad put on the door that goes from the kitchen into the garage. We started this a couple years ago for son#2. When he came out of his little cocoon & discovered there was a world for his taking. And take he did. Crisco out of cabinets to feel & smear all over his face. Vaseline out of the bathroom; which stays for a long time in your hair. Lotion is pretty squeezed out all over the carpet up & down the hallway. And then there's the front & back doors with the key dead bolts. VERY handy indeed! This weekend it was shower gel ALLLLLLL over the bathroom floor. With my gimpy knee, I let daddy look like Keystone Cops in there cleaning it up.



Our probably most inventive lock to date has to be the dog collar you'll see on the fridge. It keeps the fridge locked, and so far keeps son#2 from defeating it & stuffing his already chubby little face with hand dipped butter. I personally thought this one was quite ingenious on our part. This past summer, since son#2 has grown to 4ft 4 inches tall & turned 7 years old, we've had to move some of the locks up higher out of his reach. Not pretty, but it gets the job done. We also had to install some little alarms recently because he's tall enough to open all the higher cabinets in the kitchen--or our closet which he seems to be able to pop the lock on & string out my yarn. Now when he pulls them open a nice shrill, piercing alarm goes off & scares him away & us to the scene of the crime.



But now, he has a partner. An accomplice if you will, a new master mind to try & help him evade our Fort Knox we have going here. Son #3 has taken to this life of "crime" with ease. He's fast, sneaky, and QUIET. He is able to tread where the 92lbs of son#2 can not tread quietly. #3's interests include, standing on the dining room table, on top of the toy shopping cart, toy box or anything else he can get a leg up on. He has total domination over sneak attacks. He will wait till you get up to get something & army crawl in & swipe the remote before you even know what happened. He'll take the loots and run somewhere around a corner, flatten himself on the floor & turn his head so you can't possibly see him. Yeah right! Sneaky little bugger! (Be very quiet, I'm hunting wabbit tracks.) Sometimes, if you're lucky, you saw which way he went & you can track the remote down in less than 10 minutes. Other times, it's hopeless & you might as well find something else to do until something good comes back on that channel. Or paper rock scissors for which of you will stand there pushing channel up.



Son #3 is small enough to squeeze himself into spaces you can't follow & usually manages to take SOMETHING of importance with him you want. Or another brother wants. Like a cup or food. He's tall for his age & his no problem reaching up to the table or opening the microwave to see what potential lies there for the taking. #3's super power is his cute cheeks and that beautiful little smile. Very disarming. You forget the craftiness with which he thinks & can move because you're focused on his cute, curly hair & big brown eyes! Together there's no need for words between them (good thing since neither one can talk yet) they just know which area is at a weakened state & has potential to be ripe for the picking.



Two peas in a pod. Inseperable, except at naptime.

I give you The Swaim Duo:


I'm sure there's plotting going on here.