In the Begining There Was God...and Grand Moff Tarkin

We haven't pushed the issues of God & heaven, Jesus or the Bible with our children. Son #1 being the only one that can talk of the three really means the issues lie with him. This past year son #1 has dealt with death in several ways & seems to really understand the concept. I guess we should be thankful in a way to his Star Wars games seeing as how that is where most of his physical comprehension comes from on the subject of death & dying. But I also like to think that kids like my sons, have God in their ear to help talk them through some things in life that we can't always find the right words to explain. This said, there HAVE been conversations about God & Jesus and many Veggie Tale videos to reinforce the concepts God wants us to live by.

The last time I tried reading the Beginners Bible to son#1 he was excited at first. New stories & characters for him to understand & memorize. We got as far as creation, then Adam & Eve before my soft-hearted son decided that he was very angry about Adad & Eve being thrown out of the Garden of Eden. How sad that they had to go & never come back. Of course the angel with the flaming sword had him quite excited that there might be a duel. He was probably a little more mad about there not being a duel than Adam & Eve being banished come to think of it.
Anyway, he was done. He wasn't reading the next story because he was upset at it not continuing with Adam & Eve. So I didn't push. I'd ask every so often if he wanted another Bible story, but he would always say no.

Last night at bedtime, son #1 asked where his Bible story book was. I rushed to get it, trying not to look too eager that we might get past the Garden of Eden. I mention Noah & what a cool story that is with all the animals on this big boat & how it rains for 40 days. He scoffs at me. We need to start at the begining he tells me. I pick it up & open back up to the first story of creation again. But it seems this time, son #1 wants to have some control & narrate the reading of creation. So I begin. (Keep in mind this is the Children's Beginners Bible so it's putting the story VERY simply.)

me: "In the begining, the earth was empty. Darkness covered everything. But God was there, and He had a plan."

son#1: "A plan to build a death star."

me: (sigh)
He let me read on through the days & what was made on them until day 7. This is all said with a straight face mind you & he was quite serious about it.

me: "When He was finished, God saw that everything He had made was very good. And on the seventh day He rested."

son#1: "And on the eighth day, God made videos & DVD's for children from shows like on PBS, Nick Jr, Disney & Nickelodeon-like Rugrats."

me: Sure, okay. (I'm sure God has a copyright on all that somewhere, right?)

Then we proceed on to the story of Adam & Eve. Now he lets me go through the part about Adam names the animals but he's lonely. All he points out in this so far is that Adam needs some clothes.

me: But still, Adam was lonely. God said, "It's not good for Adam to be alone." So God made... a woman."

son#1 interupts me: "Wait! (in a narrator voice now) And she is very pretty holding red flowers. (she is in the picture in his Bible)

me: "Adam named the woman Eve. Eve was just right to be Adam's special helper."

son#1: "Just like you're Daddy's special helper, right Mommy?"

me: (sigh) "Sure, you could look at it that way." (although I was thinking more the other way around)

We go on to read about the eating of the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good & evil, when son#1 sees a picture & pronounces it, "the fruit from the tree of college of good & evil."
This may be more fitting actually, he may have something there.

Then the part of the snake talking to Eve. He doesn't seem to think it's odd the snake can talk.

me: "One day a snake came to Eve. It said, "See how pretty the fruit is on the tree of knowledge of good & evil? It tastes good. It will make you wise. Don't listen to God. Go ahead and try it."

son#1: "Wait! (don't turn the page) In his best deep voice he says to me: "Eat that fruit from the tree of college of good & evil. I am really Lord Vader in this snake and I am bad."

Son#1 actually let me get through the rest of the story where A & E get kicked out & the angel with the flaming sword comes to guard the garden. Then as I try to be sneaky to just go ahead & start the story of Noah, he says "No! God doesn't like Noah!"
I say "Yes he does. See it says right here, "God knew Noah was the only good man left."
"Nope. He is really Grand Moff Tarkin in disguise and it's not an ark he's building, it's a DEATH STAR!"

(sigh) I bet that's news to God. It seems like he has the players on the right sides of good & evil...now if I can just figure out how to tell him this all really happened.