Shave & A Haircut...Two Bits

*** WARNING-Some of these parental decesions you may not agree with. However, until you live at my house, you don't get to choose what's uncalled for or complain about how YOU'D handle MY children. This is just to maybe enlighten you as to how a very ordinary thing & even fun for most kids, isn't for us.***

When you go get a haircut it's usually something you schedule, look forward to (especially if you're a woman) and maybe even enjoy. For me, I love it. Puts me to sleep to have someone playing with my hair. Hubbo's hair grows so fast he has his cut every two weeks. However, haircuts have come to mean entirely different things to our family since we've had kids. Normal things aren't always normal in our household, even the most common things don't get to be normal or easy. It zaps your strength & leaves your mental energy comatose for an hour afterwards.

Children on the Autism Spectrum most often have all kinds of different sensory issues. One of the huge ones for our boys has always been the ears. Nothing loud, anything new or they cover them, and DON'T put anything by or in them! I know you're asking, "And this has WHAT to do with haircuts?" Well, when you're kids have sensory issues & won't just allow you to cut their hair, you have to get creative or go hippy.

There's two clear options: scissors & clippers. We first tried scissors. We'd put son#1 as a baby in a highchair in front of the tv & pop in a video. My mom would get out the scissors & we'd cut his hair & he'd hardly notice. As he got older, he noticed, BIG TIME. He grew stronger & bigger than high chairs & it took more to give him haircuts. Until you've wrapped your kid in a towel & held them down for a haircut & made them cry till they puke, you don't know parental guilt. It became clear as son #1 got older it was easier to just buzz his hair. And less dangerous since scissors stab. Then later, as he began to talk & communicate better with words, it was easier to make him understand that the haircut wasn't bad. Now, we're to the point of big boy haircuts with him done with scissors. And he only scrunches his neck a little when you get to over the ears. I believe his last conversation with my mom cutting his hair outside in a t-shirt & his underwear went like this.

Nana: "Put on this cape so you won't get hair on you. "

Son#1: "Oh, ok. It's a shirt shield?" (another Star Wars reference)

Mommy: "Yeah I guess it is." (laughing)

Son#1: "You won't use pokey scissors will you Nana?"

Nana: "No honey & Nana will try not to poke you with them."

Son#1: "Nana?"

Nana: "Yes baby?"

Son#1: "Can I get an underwear shield? There's hair falling all over me here."

That was a couple weeks ago & although it's taken 9 years, it's sheer progress! We're proud of him for not crying anymore. And son#1 even lets Hubbo do the no guard clean up with the clippers on his neck & over his ears. We've come a long way baby!!

Son#2 has issues with communication so that makes haircuts even MORE of a challenge. He doesn't know it won't hurt or isn't anything to be upset over. Today is school picture day for son #2. So last night I ran to the store & picked up a couple of shirts to go with his background we chose & some new shoes he needed. Then the REAL fun began. This summer son#2 moved out of the high chair & into sitting by himself (when he sits) at the dining room table. Nice accomplishment but it means trouble on the haircutting front. We dragged out the old highchair to keep him contained in & got out the clippers. We even bought the kid clippers that makes less noise. Son#2 is still in the phase of the buzzing hurting his ears & really just screaming about being contained for it all. He scrunches his shoulders and covers his ears & tucks his chin down to his chest.

I realize this is all seems cruel & unusual punishment, but how else do you give your child a haircut? Take them in public where STRANGERS can scare them? Let them scream down the salon or barber shop? The people cutting WILL stop & not go on, I promise you that. One time when son#2 was about 3-4 yrs old, he fell asleep on the floor on his tummy. I slowly stuck a towel under his head. I turned on the clippers & laid them by his head & jacked up the volume of the tv so it would drown out some of the clipper noise. After a minute or so of knowing he was used to that noise, I buzzed his hair while he slept. Whole haircut & he was none the wiser. Some people thought that was terrible of me. I guarentee if you came over last night, you'd opt for the sleeping version. He's not as deep a sleeper to do that anymore & his head has WAY more hair too. But it WAS one of my more creative moments as a mommy.

Last night we had a plan of just blending his hair with the clippers up the sides & leaving the top long. We got out the old high chair, got him in it, and began. Usually I'm the one that does the haircut & Hubbo holds his hands away from the action. This time, I held the hands. Funny enough, it took less time I think (average haircut for son#2 is about 30-40 min-those are VERY VERY long minutes, especially for son#2) and it looked WAY better! Son #2 even let Hubbo do the back & sideburns with no guard. He did cry & fuss & we had to hold his arms & push his head into our chest & hold it there to do either side, but it got done. I think he fights a little less each time. I swept up all the hair & cleaned up the highchair while Hubbo took Son#2 off to the shower.

I put gel in his hair this morning & combed it. Usually there's no need for combing it, it's so coarse that it does it's own thing. He looked adorable & sweet. Oh and he really looked his age-7 years old. My baby is growing up. Nothing like those big boy haircuts to make them look more like their daddy. Now watch, he'll be looking the other way in his picture today!