Dear Carson---
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!!
Here we are and you're another year older--15 yrs old today son.
I wish I could be there today to take you out & celebrate with you--you know how I love to celebrate on the day and make it special--but I'm busy getting ready for the best present ever tomorrow. We're moving on up Weezy!!!
Mommy got you a better place to live!! I'm picking you up tomorrow and we're headed to greener pastures and much better people to take care of you.
I made you some birthday chocolate chip cookies I'm bringing for you. Your fav!
I'm getting your room ready. Gathering some of your favorite toys, dvds and some of you favorite things. I'm enjoying putting it all together. Your long red scarf of fabric you love to wave around and snap like a towel.
Your Blues Clues talking refrigerator with Mr. Salt & Mrs. Pepper---"Zee Straw-Bear-EZ!"
Talking Yoda with all his catch phrases and your Wiggle microphone that sings all your favorite songs. I hope you take comfort in having these favorite things around you baby.
I'm always honest with you CarCar and end up telling you what's really on my heart on our walks--wanna know a secret today? It's going to be hard for me to let those toys go. Really hard. I don't know, I guess those toys represent you, and I have memories of giving them to you. Memories of you enjoying them here in your home. Here with us. It hurts to let those pieces of you go. What if something happens to them & they break? What if someone steals them? What if they get lost and I can't replace them?
That would hurt me. Sounds silly doesn't it? I'm not even that wrapped up in "things" usually, but those things are special. They're yours and only yours. What if I can't keep them safe for you? Like I couldn't keep you safe.
What if I let something happen to them like I let something happen to you?
This is the biggest step you've made on our journey in years now. I've been working on things, but this move tomorrow, your jump--this is HUGE for you. I want to protect you, I want to make this smooth for you. I want you to be happy---it's one of my biggest life goals. I tell you and your brothers all the time to find your happy. Usually when they have a bad attitude going on or you feel something isn't fair. I have to teach you this. Life isn't fair. Ever. And it gives you no bigger struggle than finding a way to be content. I could give you no greater gift or lesson as a mom. Find a way. Make it happen. No one else will do it for you. But you baby, you can't really find your happy by yourself.
Mommy's gonna find your happy. I will make this better however long it takes me.
It's only been a year since I started this quest to find you the penthouse of all facilities for your forever home---but I'm getting there baby. One year and one step closer Weezy.
We're movin' on up!!!!!
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