Mutiny on the Bounty

I just got off an hour long teleconference call again. DHS, DDSD, Child Welfare, Tahlequah & some other agencies were represented. I got a text with a number & code to dial in with. I asked what this was---DHS worker said it was a call about Carson if  I  wanted in.

I said when--she said now. I called.

I had son#3 with me and was in the middle of a ton of stuff at the church building.

Took the call and tried to just listen.

 I knew the Tahlequah workers were upset yesterday with Carson's outbursts and behavior over the weekend. They had taken him to the ER and started new meds at 5pm last night after he was attacking staff, peers & himself.  DHS/DDSD  tried their best to explain with his severity of autism, this was a huge change up for him & we needed to be patient. Let the meds kick in.

The staff all took turns speaking. The Marine spoke first---he went OFF. Crying uncle, saying he was beat up, scratched and was scared because he felt Carson had "nothing behind his eyes". That he'd been to war before, was 6 ft, 200 lbs and scared.

Mrs. Garrett the house mother, crying saying she was scared to come to work for the first time ever and she couldn't go on. That she came there as a kid and knew how scared a kid could be, but this was too much.

They said Rose Rock probably lied, that Carson had been acting this way all along and they didn't tell them. (no he hadn't--we took him on outings--he wasn't this way in the car ride over there)

They said they probably sedated him & didn't put it on record/file.

Another staff guy got on, saying no one had provided them any info on Carson or coping skills to help them.

So I couldn't be quiet anymore.

I said something along the lines of:

"I spent an hour and a half on the last conference call about transitioning, giving you every detail and pertinent info I could think of concerning Carson. And I understand what you're feeling physically and mentally. I lived it for a lot of years without someone to tap out with every 8 hrs in shifts. I took my beatings and I can tell you Carson's endurance/strength is exactly WHY there were 10 state troopers and 2 motorcycle cops needed on the side of the road when we had that incident. Because they all needed to tap out. I can assure you there is PLENTY behind Carson's eyes. They aren't dead, and I would ask you to remember he is still a child. My child. He is panicked and scared.

I also think I said from the beginning I didn't think this arrangement would work. Staffing wise or the house arrangement. And I do think this is an adjustment period and could work more smoothly for him once he settles into a routine.

I am very sympathetic with what you're experiencing and more so for what my son is experiencing. And I promise you, if I had any other "coping skills" to pass on to you about containing him, HE WOULD NOT BE LIVING WHERE HE IS RIGHT NOW--HE'D BE WITH ME."

There was probably 15 seconds of silence.

Child Welfare went on to ask Tahlequah what time frame could they give them to figure something else out for a living arrangement for Carson.

By the end of the conversation, Tahlequah workers all threaten to quit--and Child Welfare/DHS said they'd have to figure something out ASAP.

After the call, the Greenhorn DHS worker called me, I let her know I knew of a child who had followed the exact same road Carson had---Special Needs Petition---Rose Rock--Tahlequah/People Inc.---after he sent three of their workers to the hospital, the state of OK moved him to Texas Nuero in Austin.

Besides TX Neuro, I gave her the Dallas/San Antonio info.

I'm inclined to think the idiot that keeps saying NO to out of state treatment, needs to come to court next time and say it to my FACE. Look me in the eye you little twerp and look at my pictures of his treatment here, and then tell me no again punk.

So tomorrow, I am preparing to be ready to go to the capital, Channel 2 Works For You or the newspaper.

My child will NOT be strapped to a bed indefinitely in some in-patient hospital facility while you toy with his placement and yank him around again. 

That's where we stand. Thank you for caring what happens to a child most of you haven't met or have only a handful of encounters with. Thank you for not seeing him as a monster.

Prayers for Carson, his staff, (the director at Tahlequah left the state for family vacation the day after Carson arrived) and for me and anyone I might encounter. I am at a serious breaking point mentally. Whether it's me that breaks or I break someone else, I'm not sure just yet. And if anyone has a tropical island I could run off to when this is all over and just read in the sun on the beach---I'll pay you in hand knitted items.