To Whom It May Concern

I just wanted to take a minute to elaborate on some of the things your team and I touched on Friday in our session about Carson.  As a mother, of course I love my child and wish to see him excel at every single thing he is capable of doing in life. As someone who has attained her BS in Child Development, worked in residential treatment facilities and worked with autistic kids---I want to see Carson achieve every single, possible thing he is capable of, so he can have as much fulfillment and satisfaction that he is able to have in life.

Knowing my son won't live with me for the rest of his life is never something I will have control in because it's not enough for him, but God knows what I can control is how happy Carson can be in his life. And that will forever be my goal. I know we discussed how Carson will take direction and understands more than most people think he does. But of course as any person on the autism spectrum---we have a few rungs missing every so often, on our ladder.

Carson grew very aware of time in school and used to know when to go and take down the bucket of lunch bags and stand next to the classroom door waiting for the lunch bell. He has looked around for people, before opening his teacher's desk drawer and taking a large sip out of her Sonic drink before carefully replacing it and shutting the drawer to her desk. One time he was trying to pull me to the kitchen to start dinner and I told him to be patient and wait---we were ordering pizza that it would be here soon.  Later I got a call from the delivery guy who said he was in our driveway, but there was a naked kid with a paper plate standing at the front door. (This was quite awhile ago in our naked phase.) So although we may not score so high on an IQ test, our thinking reasoning skills have been in practice for 15 years and food is a great motivator for Carson.

Carson has really come back to himself since he has been in the hospital and the wonderful team here has adjusted his medicines. I've seen his attention span lengthened more than it has been in years, clear eyes and I love his affectionate nature has returned, only lashing out when in pain or his personal space has been invaded after he has shown to not be able to do what is asked in that moment.

He has really loved the attention and time so many loving, attentive nurses, sitters and doctors have given him here. It really has proven my theory that he was not really situated before in places with good staff who cared to help him do better. He has felt safe here almost from the moment he got here to the hospital and I have seen him respond to this trust by allowing them to take blood, cast his arm and remove the cast and numerous other actions I would never have thought he would be brave enough to allow. All because of feeling safe with trustworthy people.

Seeing Carson return to the kid I know, who loves to laugh, who can put his own shoes on the correct feet and is happy---has been worth this horrible journey that brought us to the hospital. Carson isn't interested in hurting his own arms, he was always trying to communicate that the bites from another child, were not feeling well. Instead of acting out, I see what I call "Toddler Tactics" now. If you're asking him to do something he doesn't want to do, he squints his eyes closed and will slowly open one eye to see if you're still there--waiting for him to complete his task. He will sometimes make us laugh when he slaps his leg (which is just like a child stomping their foot) when you aren't giving him what he wants. I love that he will rock happily in his rocking chair and watch a cartoon--he loves PBS Kids. His attention span seems longer with the more outside time he gets---he loves to walk/pace. When his pacing circles get tight, we know we're having some anxiety issues and he may end up in his bed making his little dolphin squealing noise. Carson loves his classical music and low lights to soothe himself and his weighted blanket has seen him through many painful moment with his arms while we've been here.

I really just wanted to make you aware that Carson is more than the numbers and diagnosis on the papers you received. He has more to learn with communication, taking care of himself and just how to make good choices. What Carson needs I can no longer offer all on my own. He needs a village of good people with caring souls who want to engage what skills he has, and motivate him to get more from life than he's been offered before. I hope and pray you get the privileged to get to know my son, because I know he has just as much to teach you as you can teach him.

~Julie Hall Swaim