No Matter How They Toss the Dice

I went to see son#2 today with our DHS worker. There were some interesting developments.
She is really going to be promoted--5 months after the fact--starting June 1.
Her supervisor will take over Carson's case & she will still be available for me to contact if need be. Breaking in someone new on your team. Bringing them up to speed --never the most fun of jobs.
Also, us going together was a stand up to the hiney hole therapist--which I thought went well. He was quite polite & nice to us both. But afterwards, she told me that on her last visit---she had needed to cancel. She emailed AND left him a voicemail that her co-worker was coming instead. Turned out to be her supervisor. Well, when Ms.DHS Supervisor got there to see Carson, no one was at the front desk. So she found someone in an office & asked them to page Mr. Hiney Hole Therapist.
This person did. On speaker phone. And apparently, Mr. HHT proceeded to rant & rave about how she couldn't just DROP in and that he was so sick of this situation etc.
Which being on speaker phone, allowed Ms. DHS Supervisor to hear every last word.
Mr. HHT was then informed that, in fact, that IS what DHS does. Drop in. To your home, to your institution. So--take care of your business & shut your pie hole.
Our DHS worker feels this has led to a better attitude displayed today by Mr. Hiney Hole Therapist.
I concur.

DHS worker says DDSD has some group home openings this summer--maybe July--for some kids aging out where Carson could take their spot. She did not say where they were. They need RR to provide a psych evaluation & a full medical eval.
Mr. Therapist is a flip flopper who will say one thing like, "Well, we can't possibly schedule that psych eval quickly. It takes time. Last time it took months to get one done."
Wait 1-2 minutes----"You can move Carson maybe in July? Well, our doctor who does those can probably get here in a week or two. I'll call him today."

"Carson bites his own arms. We've seen him do it." says HHT.
Wait 1-2 minutes---"A new kid has bit Carson & even hit his back. So see he isn't hurting him back, he's not aggressive & can go home." Umm do you realize you've told me you WATCHED someone hurt my kid and that he was bit by someone else???? You idiot. You have told me things you probably shouldn't have, in your hurry to prove yourself right. And I won't ever believe Carson is biting his own arms, until you show me footage.

"Carson keeps peeing in the chair in my office. He doesn't seem to want to potty train."
Again...1-2 minutes--"No Carson isn't wearing diapers. We are just using underwear on him. That's how we're potty training him." says Mr. Therapist. Pretty sure he's peeing your chair because you don't have a diaper on him genius.

 Umm yeah I'm not too convinced he's a grown up to be honest with you. He's so quick to say everything isn't his fault or his responsibility, he can't even see he's sinking his own battleship. His ego is such that he cannot even grasp what to do with Carson since he can't sit down & do group therapy with him. What I wouldn't give to see him in the court room with me. Or a dark alley.

We go back to court in early June, so we'll see what happens between now & then. I have some things still in the works for Texas. Some meetings still on the horizon & some people still working for Carson & I. I have not given up, nor do I plan to. I hate to see Carson moved several times--the stress will not be good to him. But if they need to do this to exhaust all avenues, I won't be able to stop them.
I don't know that I showed you his arms from last time---but the judge court ordered an independent doctor to see Carson. Rose Rock informed DHS worker that they had already done that.
And that he was on two weeks of antibiotics. DHS worker asked for documentation to back that up, and RR did not provide that. DHS worker has sent for new court order for ALL Carson's medical records for while he's been there to be sent to her/copied. They are supposedly working on that.
So tomorrow Mr. Lawyer will be emailed to get on the case of why we can't follow a judge's court order. The judge may not have a lot of say---but you WILL obey what she has the power to order you to do. I personally hope they push her. I'd like to see what happens. Just for kicks & giggles.

Things aren't done, but I feel this new holding pattern isn't going to be this way long. Things will be moving & changing soon. I can feel it in my mommy heart. I'm biding my time.
So I wait. Waiting on the Lord. Renewing my strength so I can mount up on wings like eagles.

But, I leave you with a confession--I have never seen a resemblance between Carson and  I. I always assumed he looked like someone on my biological side. He's so handsome. So different than the other two with his dark skin and almost black eyes.
But while looking through some old pictures, I saw it. The first & only time. We both love to laugh.
And yet we both can be so very serious. You just have to be around enough to see that side of us.

"Me and you. You and me. No matter how they toss the dice. It had to be. The only one for me is you. And you for me. So happy together."

I love those words to that song. You and me. Me and you.
It was always going to be Carson and I.  Always.
There was a plan at work long before I ever dreamed he existed.
When I saw him today, he hugged me for a very long time. Wouldn't let go.
Oh my word did I need that hug.
It was like time stood still in that hug and all the worry I'd been holding inside. All the stress that my chiropractor says I carry in my shoulders--it all melted away.
Carson and I both run hot. We have very warm skin. We always have. It was like our hug just boiled everything down to the basics--I love you. You love me. We can't be together. I hurt. You hurt. I wish this wasn't happening. Me too. I love you. I love you more.
We said all that. Like we always do--without any words.