My oldest son is a high-functioning Autistic person. He is labeled high-functioning because although he didn't talk until later in life, he can function at basic life skills. Jackson does have his own quirks & idiosyncrasies that cause life to not be quite normal, but I'm convinced EVERYONE has their own. He does suffer from some OCD issues & they do get in the way of him living a normal life sometimes.
Yesterday evening I took Jackson, who is 8 years old, to run errands with me. We were first going to the library to pick up some video's he had requested. On the way we passed a grocery store that had recently gone out of buisness-Albertson's. This was our conversation:
Jack: Is Albertson's dead?
Me: No, it's just closed. Things like stores don't die.
Jack: It’s pretend?
Me: Remember when Tinga (our dog) and Papa died? That’s not pretend, that’s real. We don’t see them anymore do we?
Jack: No
Me: And so pretend is like in your Star Wars game.
Jack: Ok. aoewijolasjhdflahdg-(Star Wars lingo I don’t understand)
At the library he had to be sure & tell the librarian thank you about 5 times before she figured out she had to say “you’re welcome” for him to stop.
Then we ventured on to Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market. I had a list & with Jackson with me we couldn’t really get the things on the list in order of what’s on each aisle. It’s more like go down the list in order it’s written. It does take a little longer & he is distracted like any child by the cereal aisle & it’s toys in the boxes.But eventually we get to check out with things from our list & just a $.97 pack of Play-Doh & a $2 bag of punch ball balloons.
At the check-out he has to greet the girl checker & tell her HI a dozen times. Then he has to watch & make sure his bag of chips are secure the whole way down the conveyer belt & into the sack. Then we begin the “thank you!’s” to the checker & the perfunctory “I love you!”’s before we can leave. The checker hasn’t quite figured out that something isn’t quite the same about this little boy. And she can’t stop giggling. Of course the OCD part of Jackson allows him to repeat these mannered phrases until she responds in the customary way. He can be VERY patient. I on the other hand, can loose my cool after 10 thank you’s and the idiot girl doesn’t say “You’re welcome!” back. Manners people, manners!! I don’t really feel the need to explain to everyone who encounters my children, WHY they are different. You can always ask, I have no problem with talking about it, but I don’t feel the need to explain the differences of my children & theirs to every person we meet.
As a side note/story, once when Jackson was really little he was in the car with parked outside a convience store. We had been working on manners. The windows are down & the lady sitting in the next car with her windows down sneezes. Jackson tells her “bless you”. She scoffs. Lady sneezes again. Jack again blesses her. She forces a smile. Wouldn’t you know it, she sneezes again & this time after Jack blesses her, he politely informs her, she’s supposed to say “thank you”. She was pretty taken back. My dad explained we had been working on manners with him. He still doesn’t have much tolerance for people not responding in the correct mannered way.
After trying three different rides on the way out of the store we found a horse that worked & wasn’t out of order. Then we had to get a gumball.
Next we were going to the post office.
Jack & I talked about numerous things. School, the baby, computer games & his videos he got at the library. In the short drive to the post office he noticed the sun setting in the rear view mirror. He saw the moon almost full, out the windshield.
This was our conversation:
Jackson: Look the sun is on fire & going away!
Me: Yep-and there’s the moon.
Jackson: But I love the sun! (starts to fake cry)
Me: You silly goose, you’ll see the sun tomorrow morning. It has to go to bed, it’s tired from being in the sky all day. Now it’s the moon’s turn to give us light. I love the moon & night time, it’s my favorite.
Jackson: My favorite is the sun! (more fake crying over the sun leaving)
Me: Why do you love the sun so much?
Jackson: Because I’m of the sun (son?).
Arriving inside the post office to just send off a couple padded envelopes Jackson asks this lady needing my help with the stamp machine what her name was. She was super sweet to him & told him her name & asked his. He beamed. After she was done & leaving, he told her bye several times (less because she correctly responded back to him “bye”) and then “I love you Deborah!”. She thought this was SO sweet. I don’t know if she realized that Jackson wasn’t like other boys his age, but she seemed not to care. Deborah made my day.
On our way home now, I told Jackson how much I had appreciated him helping me & keeping me company. We don’t often get out like that just the two of us.
This was our conversation:
Me: I love you Jack. Thanks for coming with me to do errands. It was fun.
Jackson: I love you too mommy. It was fun.
Quiet for awhile.
Jackson: Mommy?
Me: Yes Jack?
Jackson: Well, thanks for the fellowship
Me: You're welcome baby. (chuckle)
Jackson: You're my favorite friendship.
Me: I know sweetie.
