Good-Bye and Good Riddance 2011!

What a turbulent month December was! The usual busy of Christmas was afoot as well as three trips to OKC to see our boy.
In those four weeks we had three "holds" and TWO self-inflicted goose eggs on the middle of his forehead. One golf ball sized, the other (done to himself this Monday) tennis ball sized. It was shocking to see the golf ball one on Christmas Eve & scratches he had on his face from another child there in his unit. But apparently when we left something happened. Weekend help is not as up on the procedures or follow-thru. But weekend HOLIDAY help....I think is much less trustworthy.

When we came to visit this past Friday (30th) we were taken to a new administrator office to meet with the director and Lolly. Apparently the bruises on the tops of son#2's thighs were WAY worse than they mentioned in a phone call.
And they were unexplained. Nothing had been reported that weekend of Christmas. So the bruises were most likely inflicted either by son#2 or a roommate/staff. They just failed to report it so they were not discovered until Monday. The bruises were in an area that is difficult to conclude how it could have been accidental. It's almost as if he was was standing up and someone hit him across the front of the thighs with a 4x6 board.





There is an investigation going on right now & it was reported to a state agency that records these things. They are doing an in-house investigation & are interviewing all involved as well as having written up the workers that weekend for not reporting the incident.

Reality set in late Friday night (30th) and I was barely able to sleep. The reality is, as a mother my worst nightmare could possibly have happened. That we sent him there for help, and someone hurt him & he can't tell us. It breaks your heart.
It's taken this long for me to be able to discuss it whether in writing, out loud or mentally processing it, without crying.
It's rough to think because son#2 can't speak, we may never know what exactly happened. Or if it's a possibility to happen again. We trust the staff that is there 99% of the time. But sadly, I'm still hoping for some blood disorder or such thing. Which we're still looking into.

We're in the middle of discussing if his meds are interacting with one another & causing some extra aggression. It cannot be good for him to have several goose eggs in the same place, aka trauma to his forehead, in the matter of 6 months time.
It just can't. They do neuro checks afterwards, but still. I'm beginning to think we need to buy him an NFL quarterback helmet.

During all this I've struggled physically as well. With an infection that's just now over. And now a bad reaction to the latest antibiotics I'm taking. So needless to say I don't feel a hundred percent mentally or physically to deal with all of this.
I keep reminding myself, trust that God has a plan. While I do not doubt this for one minute, it's difficult to keep one's spirits up when you close your eyes & face the thoughts of the what-if's.
I'm slowly digging out of all this, but it's very overwhelming.
I still don't want to talk about it--too fresh. But thanks so much to you ALL for the thoughts, prayers & well wishes. We appreciate them all. A friend of mine keeps praying for a "hedge of protection" around son#2. I love that. That's all I want. Thank you to our friends and we appreciate the patience & perseverance you've had enduring this with us. He *is* making some good progress so I hope & pray 2012 is much better to our son.